Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
Diagnosed with autism on Monday this week at age 42. I am still trying to process this, I thought I would be relieved but mostly I'm just feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I haven't told anyone about the diagnosis yet, not even my husband. I'm feeling anxious about telling my family and not sure how I will cope with their reactions.
Just wondering how other people diagnosed as adults told their close family about their diagnosis? If it was me, I would want to be given all of the information in written form but not sure if this would be too much to start with. Any thoughts?
Diagnosed earlier this year at 47, my wife & family knew I was looking at diagnosis - "Why do you want to do that?" was my parent's reaction and they still don't really 'get' it... "You're just you..." blah blah blah.
I told my work colleagues I was going through assessment and have been open about it since diagnosis.
3 days after diagnosis we went on holiday with my in-laws for a week (I had tried EVERYTHING to get out of going) and I agreed with my wife that she'd find a moment to tell her Dad, sister, brother-in-law and nieces (2) - in the end I ended up telling one of the nieces and her boyfriend... and the scuba-diving instructor (it seemed relevant disclosure).
I've since told friends, my Mrs has told her friends and even some of my ex colleagues who still work in the same place she does.
I've also told various colleagues outside my immediate team if/when it felt appropriate, including earlier today after i basically had a mini-meltdown on a conference call.
Basically I'm telling anyone that I think it would be useful TO ME if they know. I'm also working on a device to use to indicate my 'spoon levels' to myself and others as a non-verbal way of communicating when I may be struggling and that's been a 'gateway' to discussing it with a variety of people.
Oh, and I'm thinking of maybe doing a presentation at work on autism (I work in IT so I'll basically be preaching to the choir!) and I may also do a piece for my triathlon club as they have signed up to the Mental Health Charter for Sports and Recreation.
So far it's all going swimmingly (and cyclingly and runningly... terrible triathlon pun!)
BUT, I think I'm kind of an exception. The key is to do what is right FOR YOU and to be aware that you won't always get the reaction you expect. Make sure you can point people at a resource that will explain to them in a way that is appropriate to you, what autism REALLY means.
Best of luck!
Thank you, it's great that you felt able to tell people. If you work out a way to indicate your 'spoon levels' (had to look that one up!) to other people it would be really helpful if you felt able to share it on here. The only way I currently have is completely shutting down and removing myself from the situation, which obviously doesn't explain anything to other people.
I haven't found a resource yet that completely explains me so I may try to create one myself. That way I will have something ready to show people if I do disclose to them.