Do you run your own business?

I was a director of a consultancy business for 20 years and didn't know I was autistic until long after I left.  I retrained in a less stressful, more creative, more enjoyable, far less lucrative job in my mid 50s and never looked back.  Dealing with sales is horrible  but I'm fortunate in that I basically don't, very often - I 'sell sweeties to my friends', by which I mean I sell services to people I've known for years, who know my professional and technical reputation, and they're business contacts, not friends. On the board of a company I had to deal with difficult clients all the time - your ability to retain business affects the livelihoods of your colleagues and you have a responsibility to them.  I did that, for 26 years (20 of them on the Board).  The stress levels coming from that were sometimes overwhelming but I thought it was more or less the same for everyone; it involves almost permanent masking, for years, but I did that intuitively, without knowing I was doing it.   Working for yourself, you're freed from all that; if you walk away from business, you're the only person affected.  I actually had a very profitable account which basically dropped into my lap almost as soon as I'd opened for business but the guy was a nightmare to deal with. I'm afraid I had a meltdown in writing (on an email) within weeks.   No, it wasn't great.  What I said was true, although most of it was better left unsaid.  But it terminated the relationship, and that was the outcome that was best for me. I have a small number of retained clients so that doesn't happen often but if I get someone I just can't deal with I can recognise the situation, objectively and on an intellectual basis (knowing, now, that I'm autistic); I now have a 'protocol', which depersonalises the thing and allows me to deal with it ... irrespective of how big the account is, I tell them, politely but assertively, that their particular requirements may be better served by someone else. It's a big decision to make because it has real financial impact (I am retained by clients, typically for several years, so losing one can reduce my income by a quarter, maybe) but I'm fortunate that I can make that decision.   I only discovered recently that I was autistic and a lot of cogs fell into place, retrospectively, including an understanding of the management strategies I've always put in place to cope with difficult folks.   The ability to say 'goodbye' to them once you work for yourself is a huge relief.  

I was a director of a consultancy business for 20 years and didn't know I was autistic until long after I left.  I retrained in a less stressful, more creative, more enjoyable, far less lucrative job in my mid 50s and never looked back.  Dealing with sales is horrible  but I'm fortunate in that I basically don't, very often - I 'sell sweeties to my friends', by which I mean I sell services to people I've known for years, who know my professional and technical reputation, and they're business contacts, not friends. On the board of a company I had to deal with difficult clients all the time - your ability to retain business affects the livelihoods of your colleagues and you have a responsibility to them.  I did that, for 26 years (20 of them on the Board).  The stress levels coming from that were sometimes overwhelming but I thought it was more or less the same for everyone; it involves almost permanent masking, for years, but I did that intuitively, without knowing I was doing it.   Working for yourself, you're freed from all that; if you walk away from business, you're the only person affected.  I actually had a very profitable account which basically dropped into my lap almost as soon as I'd opened for business but the guy was a nightmare to deal with. I'm afraid I had a meltdown in writing (on an email) within weeks.   No, it wasn't great.  What I said was true, although most of it was better left unsaid.  But it terminated the relationship, and that was the outcome that was best for me. I have a small number of retained clients so that doesn't happen often but if I get someone I just can't deal with I can recognise the situation, objectively and on an intellectual basis (knowing, now, that I'm autistic); I now have a 'protocol', which depersonalises the thing and allows me to deal with it ... irrespective of how big the account is, I tell them, politely but assertively, that their particular requirements may be better served by someone else. It's a big decision to make because it has real financial impact (I am retained by clients, typically for several years, so losing one can reduce my income by a quarter, maybe) but I'm fortunate that I can make that decision.   I only discovered recently that I was autistic and a lot of cogs fell into place, retrospectively, including an understanding of the management strategies I've always put in place to cope with difficult folks.   The ability to say 'goodbye' to them once you work for yourself is a huge relief.