Autism and Lying

It's not something I like to admit. 

But when I was a teenager due to severe issues with managing to keep friends and randomly finding myself having inappropriate reactions to things emotionally I found myself making a lot of stuff up. 

But I keep reading that autistic people don't or can't lie. This leaves me confused. 

What would happen was, I'd not respond to something socially or respond in some way that others found funny (to things that weren't jokes or anything)  and then other kids would laugh at me and then sometimes that would lead me to cry because I was overwhelmed by the whole ordeal. Someone would then eventually come over and ask 'what's wrong?' and because I had no explanation I would end up saying something like, "My dog just died," Even though my dog hadn't just died. Sometimes I'd use a real dog that had died but had actually died years ago. 

Or I'd hear of someone else's problems and I'd lie and say I had the same problem. Because otherwise, I didn't have an answer for them for why I was upset other than, "I'm confused by everything and everyone and the world is too much" 

It meant that for a moment the person appeared as they understood me for a change, but they understood me wrong because I was lying. But they also didn't understand me when I didn't lie. But it meant it felt like they understood my sadness for a moment. Like it wasn't just some random reaction I had no control over but was something for a 'real' reason that could be 'explained' 

I grew out of my lying phase though. 

And though I did tell those lies, I also did have a problem with telling the truth at supposed 'inappropriate' times. Which was incidentally another reason I never managed to keep friends...

I was just wondering if I'm the only one, (I have a feeling I might be). 

Parents
  • Lying and saying inappropriate things is common with autistics. 

    What we have difficulty with is socially acceptable white lies that most people find natural.

  • I think we either don't lie at all or lie in the extreme, just like Flint was saying he or she did. For my own part, I'm not good at understanding subtlety and I also don't know how to do it. therefore, when we do lie, it's probably really obvious to everyone. When we realise this, we probably stop doing it and just tell the truth all the time - though that can also get us into trouble...

    I personally struggle with fake people. I can't stand it when people are fake, probably because I don't understand what they're trying to achieve or why they're doing it. I actually find it very confusing.

  • I know that I struggle to lie now because. Like you say the experience of realising people didn't believe my lies (though I think some of them were believed, like the dog dying because it was based on some truth. So I wasn't having to 'act' as much). 

    I always struggle with what might be classed as 'white lies' though.  

Reply
  • I know that I struggle to lie now because. Like you say the experience of realising people didn't believe my lies (though I think some of them were believed, like the dog dying because it was based on some truth. So I wasn't having to 'act' as much). 

    I always struggle with what might be classed as 'white lies' though.  

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