Autism and Lying

It's not something I like to admit. 

But when I was a teenager due to severe issues with managing to keep friends and randomly finding myself having inappropriate reactions to things emotionally I found myself making a lot of stuff up. 

But I keep reading that autistic people don't or can't lie. This leaves me confused. 

What would happen was, I'd not respond to something socially or respond in some way that others found funny (to things that weren't jokes or anything)  and then other kids would laugh at me and then sometimes that would lead me to cry because I was overwhelmed by the whole ordeal. Someone would then eventually come over and ask 'what's wrong?' and because I had no explanation I would end up saying something like, "My dog just died," Even though my dog hadn't just died. Sometimes I'd use a real dog that had died but had actually died years ago. 

Or I'd hear of someone else's problems and I'd lie and say I had the same problem. Because otherwise, I didn't have an answer for them for why I was upset other than, "I'm confused by everything and everyone and the world is too much" 

It meant that for a moment the person appeared as they understood me for a change, but they understood me wrong because I was lying. But they also didn't understand me when I didn't lie. But it meant it felt like they understood my sadness for a moment. Like it wasn't just some random reaction I had no control over but was something for a 'real' reason that could be 'explained' 

I grew out of my lying phase though. 

And though I did tell those lies, I also did have a problem with telling the truth at supposed 'inappropriate' times. Which was incidentally another reason I never managed to keep friends...

I was just wondering if I'm the only one, (I have a feeling I might be). 

Parents
  • Yes - I struggled growing up and used to lie about things to get sympathy/ attention from people in a similar way to what you have described - I didn't have (and still don't often) have words for the actual reason for being upset/ overloaded - I have always felt very ashamed of this and never occurred to me it might be connected to autism - I'm only now going through diagnosus (I'm in my late 40s). You are not the only one.

Reply
  • Yes - I struggled growing up and used to lie about things to get sympathy/ attention from people in a similar way to what you have described - I didn't have (and still don't often) have words for the actual reason for being upset/ overloaded - I have always felt very ashamed of this and never occurred to me it might be connected to autism - I'm only now going through diagnosus (I'm in my late 40s). You are not the only one.

Children
No Data