Breaking rules meltdown

I am compelled to 'do the right thing'.   It's very deeply ingrained into me and i strive to be perfect in everything I do.  if I have a negative interaction with people or am not sure if I have behaved correctly, it troubles me to the point that I can't sleep.   I will process it over and over again seeing if I can be judged to be 'at fault'.

For example - A few years ago, I sold a car on ebay - it had a slight overheating fault - nothing terrible - I've been driving it like that for 6 months.   I did an awesome advert, lovely pictures etc. - but clearly stating 'spares or repair only'.

A guy bought it, came to collect it and thrashed the *** out of the car as he drove off down the road.   I was concerned.

I got a nasty e-mail from him in the evening claiming I'd mis-described the car as he'd blown it up on the motorway.  After an exchange of e-mails he backed down.  I had done nothing wrong.   I re-read my advert over and over - and it was all absolutely clear.    Did my superb advert cause this muggle to read more into it than was actually there?

It upset me a lot - it took a year before it wasn't intrusive in my mind.    It still bothers me - it's just another of the many little things that I get to reprocess in the small hours when my brain decides to wake me up for a laugh.

Yes, you are not the only one, I believe it is a common autistic trait. Plastic sums it up well with this...

Plastic said:

I am compelled to 'do the right thing'.   It's very deeply ingrained into me and i strive to be perfect in everything I do.  if I have a negative interaction with people or am not sure if I have behaved correctly, it troubles me to the point that I can't sleep.   I will process it over and over again seeing if I can be judged to be 'at fault'.

I don't drink any more but back in my late teens and 20s when I'd go out with NT friends into town I'd often get very scared the following day that I'd said or done something wrong after the alcohol had made me let my guard down. Sometimes the worries would last days or even weeks.

Very occasionally, my internal sense of what's right contradicts some external rule or other and I end up doing what *I* think is right. This is fine, until maybe years have passed and the decision somehow comes back to me and I end up ruminating with thoughts like "What *was* I thinking? Why did I do that?". The very thought of this subject sends chills through me, and yet the real life examples are often quite trivial in most people's minds.

I'm pretty sure it was something like this that got my insurance denied a couple of times! I was completly honest but in hindsight I probably didnt need to mention what ever I did at the time

I'm pretty sure it was something like this that got my insurance denied a couple of times! I was completly honest but in hindsight I probably didnt need to mention what ever I did at the time