Breaking rules meltdown

I am compelled to 'do the right thing'.   It's very deeply ingrained into me and i strive to be perfect in everything I do.  if I have a negative interaction with people or am not sure if I have behaved correctly, it troubles me to the point that I can't sleep.   I will process it over and over again seeing if I can be judged to be 'at fault'.

For example - A few years ago, I sold a car on ebay - it had a slight overheating fault - nothing terrible - I've been driving it like that for 6 months.   I did an awesome advert, lovely pictures etc. - but clearly stating 'spares or repair only'.

A guy bought it, came to collect it and thrashed the *** out of the car as he drove off down the road.   I was concerned.

I got a nasty e-mail from him in the evening claiming I'd mis-described the car as he'd blown it up on the motorway.  After an exchange of e-mails he backed down.  I had done nothing wrong.   I re-read my advert over and over - and it was all absolutely clear.    Did my superb advert cause this muggle to read more into it than was actually there?

It upset me a lot - it took a year before it wasn't intrusive in my mind.    It still bothers me - it's just another of the many little things that I get to reprocess in the small hours when my brain decides to wake me up for a laugh.

I am compelled to 'do the right thing'.   It's very deeply ingrained into me and i strive to be perfect in everything I do.  if I have a negative interaction with people or am not sure if I have behaved correctly, it troubles me to the point that I can't sleep.   I will process it over and over again seeing if I can be judged to be 'at fault'.

For example - A few years ago, I sold a car on ebay - it had a slight overheating fault - nothing terrible - I've been driving it like that for 6 months.   I did an awesome advert, lovely pictures etc. - but clearly stating 'spares or repair only'.

A guy bought it, came to collect it and thrashed the *** out of the car as he drove off down the road.   I was concerned.

I got a nasty e-mail from him in the evening claiming I'd mis-described the car as he'd blown it up on the motorway.  After an exchange of e-mails he backed down.  I had done nothing wrong.   I re-read my advert over and over - and it was all absolutely clear.    Did my superb advert cause this muggle to read more into it than was actually there?

It upset me a lot - it took a year before it wasn't intrusive in my mind.    It still bothers me - it's just another of the many little things that I get to reprocess in the small hours when my brain decides to wake me up for a laugh.

Yes, you are not the only one, I believe it is a common autistic trait. Plastic sums it up well with this...

Plastic said:

I am compelled to 'do the right thing'.   It's very deeply ingrained into me and i strive to be perfect in everything I do.  if I have a negative interaction with people or am not sure if I have behaved correctly, it troubles me to the point that I can't sleep.   I will process it over and over again seeing if I can be judged to be 'at fault'.

I don't drink any more but back in my late teens and 20s when I'd go out with NT friends into town I'd often get very scared the following day that I'd said or done something wrong after the alcohol had made me let my guard down. Sometimes the worries would last days or even weeks.

Yes I get this 100%, to the extent that I feel compelled to list every possible niggle with things I sell on eBay - most people would simply rely on the implicit "sold as seen / no returns".

I once sold something that worked 100% but had been repaired & I forgot to mention it, got accused of trying to pull a fast one, and simply gave a "no return refund" rather than argue.

It really upsets me too if someone questions my motives / suggests I'm not being honourable.

Thanks for your replies both of you. I also feel compelled not to lie or to do the right thing. Even over little things for example if someone asks what time is it I'll say 10.30 then think hang on its 10.32 I have to correct myself and say sorry its 10.32

I appreciate your reply it makes me feel less alone in this struggle. 

Things will go round in my head for years and years.

The thoughts hit me at unexpected times

I wonder if it's an autism trait?