Several times a week I walk along the seafront where I live and drink copious amounts of rum. I talk to imaginary friends and have a good old time. I'm slowly killing myself. I'm one of the last big drinkers.
I worry about you sometimes, I really do. It sounds like you're struggling a bit with things. Is there anyone that can help you? Or as someone else suggested, talk with us, we are happy to help and support you as best we can.
I'm on the ropes but haven't given up yet. (Why did I have to use that metaphor? A) Metaphors are too commonplace and B) I hate boxing!)
There's no one I can think of offline who can help.
After 3 days drinking back-to-back I'm sober today. Baking three potatoes in the oven to have for lunch. Just brushed my teeth to get the alcohol scent and flavour out too.
I won't drink for the rest of the week now, it's the weekend when I'm likely to feel the temptation strongly again.
Have you tried talking to your GP to ask them to refer you on to a service that can help you? There's a service around here called Open Road they probably have similar in most Areas, where they will help people who have non-addiction drug and alcohol problems. They use alternative therapies such as acupuncture and would support you and help you to help yourself with finding ways to overcome your issues with drinking Alcohol.
I'm glad that you're sober today. Hope you enjoyed the baked potatoes?
Are you able to do something else at the weekend to distract yourself from wanting to drink?
I don't know, I just want more warmth and kindness from people. To not feel like an outsider and isolated all the time. Thank you for being kind.