Jazz hands

Several times a week I walk along the seafront where I live and drink copious amounts of rum. I talk to imaginary friends and have a good old time. I'm slowly killing myself. I'm one of the last big drinkers. 

  • Well, we're all going to die, one way or another, and at least you're having a good time sometimes. Sorry if that  sounds uncaring, it's not meant to be, I just get fed up with people who think it's fine to get drunk "socially" but condemn someone who does it alone as an "alkie" .

    Alcohol seems to be commonly used by autistic people to mute the effects of sensory overload, so you're not alone. If you're concerned and want to stop, see your GP.  Some people can kick the habit with support & feel better for it. But I believe there are some people who have such severe autistic and/or mental health issues that alcohol is the only way they can cope. It's demonized in our society, while certain prescriptions for medications with serious side effects are deemed ok. What's important is quality of life. You have the power to decide what is best for you. Take care of yourself.

  • What upsets me is that people won't talk to me and yet every NT psychopath has more friends than you can shake a stick at even though they binge drink at the weekend.

  • It seems you're lonely, and understandably angry. One problem is the "double empathy" issue - NTs don't understand you, and you don't understand them. Perhaps you could join a meet up group of autistic people? There are details of groups on this website I think - check the information section. I hope you will be able to take some action to make your life happier.

  • Is there an AA group near where you live? You might be able to meet people there.

    Also, you're not alone in this; here's an article from this site from 2016 about it:

    network.autism.org.uk/.../autism-and-alcohol

  • Please talk to us. We understand and want to know.******* is a deceptive thing. I suppose for some arrogant ableist I am  a w*****, but I don't think this way of myself and on face value I am not. But some of those ******* could be smart educated people with a lot to give. Like you. there are a lot of talkative people in this forum. It there anything that bothers you particularly?

  • I'm not being funny but if you are drinking to excess 24/7 then how can you even function well enough to even know what a ****** is? Maybe these people are just trying to help you but you don't like what they have to say?

  • I worry about you sometimes, I really do. It sounds like you're struggling a bit with things. Is there anyone that can help you? Or as someone else suggested, talk with us, we are happy to help and support you as best we can.

  • I feel extremely lonely. My soul isn't on the same wavelength as most people. I'm reading The Great Gatsby by Fitzgerald and that's something I can't talk to anyone about. 

    I hate cars and motorbikes, the noise everywhere I go, there's no peace anywhere. I tried reading my book on the beach and cars were constantly speeding past and also parking, and people getting out loudly and walking right near me, loudly, rudely. Of course I could just stay at home but then that's hardly a life is it?

    I hate the consumerism of the modern world and particularly how caught up in it British people are. Independent experts agree with me on that. There is research that indicates British people are even more judgmental than the Americans about what brands you wear and which car you have. 

    My dad said to me I would have fitted in better in the '60s. He's probably right on the whole. I've read Nausea by Sartre and The Outsider by Camus, books that were in vogue at the time. I prefer the spirit of the music of that time, even if it wasn't always that good musically. There's plenty of good music about now but the feeling in it is often more aggressive and harsh than what music used to be. Especially the grime some young people are listening to now. It's really bleak and violent.

    I have no real friends. Only people who've kept me around for their own convenience. I know a woman who is friends with me because she wanted to be my girlfriend years ago and probably still likes me, but she isn't interest at all in anything I am except disability awareness. I can't seem to find anyone to talk to who had a broad range of interests and is polite and easy to talk to.

  • It's not 24/7 but I am actually wanting to stop drinking. 

  • I'm on the ropes but haven't given up yet. (Why did I have to use that metaphor? A) Metaphors are too commonplace and B) I hate boxing!)

    There's no one I can think of offline who can help. 

    After 3 days drinking back-to-back I'm sober today. Baking three potatoes in the oven to have for lunch. Just brushed my teeth to get the alcohol scent and flavour out too. 

    I won't drink for the rest of the week now, it's the weekend when I'm likely to feel the temptation strongly again.