Several times a week I walk along the seafront where I live and drink copious amounts of rum. I talk to imaginary friends and have a good old time. I'm slowly killing myself. I'm one of the last big drinkers.
I worry about you sometimes, I really do. It sounds like you're struggling a bit with things. Is there anyone that can help you? Or as someone else suggested, talk with us, we are happy to help and support you as best we can.
I'm on the ropes but haven't given up yet. (Why did I have to use that metaphor? A) Metaphors are too commonplace and B) I hate boxing!)
There's no one I can think of offline who can help.
After 3 days drinking back-to-back I'm sober today. Baking three potatoes in the oven to have for lunch. Just brushed my teeth to get the alcohol scent and flavour out too.
I won't drink for the rest of the week now, it's the weekend when I'm likely to feel the temptation strongly again.
Have you tried talking to your GP to ask them to refer you on to a service that can help you? There's a service around here called Open Road they probably have similar in most Areas, where they will help people who have non-addiction drug and alcohol problems. They use alternative therapies such as acupuncture and would support you and help you to help yourself with finding ways to overcome your issues with drinking Alcohol.
I'm glad that you're sober today. Hope you enjoyed the baked potatoes?
Are you able to do something else at the weekend to distract yourself from wanting to drink?
I keep thinking people are happier when I'm not around. I deactivated my Facebook account for 2 days, came back and everyone who'd gone quiet was back to their normal happy selves.
How's your day been anyway?
I boiled some quinoa with maple syrup and cinnamon for supper, that was pretty nice.
What do you feel that you’d done to annoy your Facebook friends? My day yesterday was good thank you. I had a day off from doing admin stuff because my brain was getting fried from it all so I read a few psychology articles during the afternoon and took my youngest to an Autism and SEN Group at the local soft play in the evening, we met one of my friends and her son there. The children all enjoyed it and slept really well! How was your day? I don’t think I’ve never eaten quinoa but your supper yesterday sounds quite tasty
That's great that there's a group for Autism and SEN for young kids. Things have progressed from the past!
Quinoa is similar to rice in taste and you can use it in the same way more or less. If you try it just make sure you put it in a sieve and rinse it well before cooking to get rid of the bitter saponin that's on the surface, which also causes digestive pain if it isn't washed off. It's really easy to cook too. You measure an amount in a jug, and double the amount of water, bring to boil in a pan, lower to lowest heat with lid on, then leave for 15 minutes and it absorbs it all.
I had a kind of fairground of a day, up and down, felt a bit nauseous, but it was sunny. I'm getting a bit better at self-care. Most days now I read a few chapters of a book, practice the guitar for 30 minutes and sometimes watch some Seinfeld episodes to get some laughter therapy.
I'm not sure why I annoy my Facebook friends. I reckon I do many people. Did you know Snowdonia in North Wales (where I grew up) is the place where according to a study, people are least friendly? It could be that I picked up something from the culture there that made me less sociable than most people.
Looks like it's going to be another glorious sunny day!
There's actually quite a few groups for Autism and SEN children that I've discovered. There's a tots group that we go to every Tuesday morning; there's another group on a Thursday but she can't go to that as she's at Nursery on a Thursday; then there's the bi-monthly group at the soft play. Provision is definitely getting better. Also, it's knowing where to find the groups. I've found a lot of information out from other Autism and SEN mums rather than from professionals. Apart from my sister-in-law who is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist with Autism and SEN children, she's a fantastic source of helpful information.
I might have to try Quinoa at some point just to see what it actually tastes like. Thank you for the advice about how to cook it.
Has today been any better? What was making you nauseous yesterday? Yeah I was supposed to be on a self care kick the last week and I had a massive fail because my sleep pattern went totally out of Sync for a few days, which is never good as if I don't get enough sleep then it affects my brain function. But I've had words with myself about that and went back to 10-10:30pm bedtime as of last night. On a positive note I've got the clean eating down to a T the last few months and I've been making myself walk more the last few days and cut down on caffeine and increased my water intake. So I guess it wasn't a complete fail, just on the sleep front! What songs do you play on your guitar? Laughter therapy is good. I'm not a big TV person, but we have Sky so occasionally I'll watch a good film as a distraction from thinking about everything.
I wouldn't take too much notice of these studies that say people from different regions are more or less friendly. They're probably based on really small sample sizes and the questions that they asked to come to that conclusion may not have been that valid or reliable. I think unfortunately that us Aspies can annoy people without meaning to, just because of our lack of social awareness. That's whats so good about this forum, no one gets bothered by it. Either that or we all just annoy each other!?
It's been a beautiful day, I did a hike with the Beaver Scouts this evening around the local Country Park which was lovely and they all really enjoyed it.
I've just realised the time so I'd best be off!
Mostly it was withdrawal from gluten that was making me nauseous yesterday. After getting drunk on Saturday I ordered a takeaway from online and had something with gluten in.
Whenever I eat gluten I have 3-4 days of hellish withdrawal. That's as good a reason as any to stop binge drinking, I forget to be careful with food.
I'm trying to eat clean as well, think I might try the Keto diet.
Totally agree with you about sleep, it's vital. I have to make sure I don't get too obsessed with interests and get a good night's kip.
Yesterday was a bit better. I finished The Great Gatsby and read a university lecturer's literary critique of the book which was enlightening. Apparently it was all about modernism, how technology was changing us all. The shift in American (and maybe the world) culture from self-reliant people doing logging, and small scale manufacturing to a big boom in the stock market industry and a parallel growth in organised crime (illicit alcohol production and retail, handling stolen goods etc.) How bright and dazzling it all was but how there were ashheaps of the people left behind too, how the original American Dream of freedom to pursue your beliefs and live without tyranny was becoming something else, a consumerist, confused madhouse.
I'm learning some Simon & Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, Metallica and The Beautiful South songs on the guitar. I want to get good enough to be able to go out and busk.
Seems like with the increased number of mums aware of Autism in their children from a young age now it's likely the outcomes of their lives will be better than some older generations, who didn't know what was going on with them.
I’m guessing that if you get gluten ‘withdrawal’ symptoms that you have Celiac or gluten sensitivity? I think binge drinking can make most people forget to be careful with anything really. I’ve been guilty of binge drinking in the past myself, especially in my early 20’s, it was a social crutch that I took a bit too far sometimes. Are you drinking when you’re out or when you’re at home?
I find clean eating so beneficial, I have much more energy and literally feel clean inside because I’m not putting any rubbish into my body. I’m not drinking either, that’s saved A LOT of calories! How safe is the Keto diet?
Yes, it’s far too easy to get a little bit too into something and stay up far later than intended isn’t it? My plan to get an early night last night didn’t go to plan as I had a friend contact me about 10:30 having a crisis! I’ll go and see him later to see what’s going on there and have an early night tonight instead!
The Great Gatesby sounds interesting. Technology is a funny one. Things have gone that far that the world now would not and could not give technology up unless it was forced. But it’s gone too far. I wouldn’t be surprised if many human jobs are taken over by robots within the next 50 years or so. All because of a few people’s greed and the need to prove that they are ‘better’ than their competitors. I wonder what the consequences of that will be? I think we’re probably more at the mercy of tyranny now than we ever were except now the culprits are privatised companies as opposed to state controlled organisations, their level of accountability is less too.
Ooh I do like a bit of Metallica! What Metallica songs are you learning to play? Some buskers can do quite well, it depends, there’s one around here who’s been busking for as long as I can remember, he always seems so happy too, just strumming away on his guitar and singing along. Must people in the town are used to him now too so he’s become a kind of familiar land mark.
Yeah I really do hope that the increasing awareness of autism does lead to better outcomes for the children being diagnosed now. I still think there’s a lot more to be done when it comes to raising awareness of people with autism without associated learning disabilities though as many still slip through the net and either never get diagnosed or don’t get diagnosed until adulthood.
Oh I've got all kinds of sensitivities but gluten is the worst! I only drink when I'm out.
Not sure exactly how safe the Keto diet is, I know a few famous celebrities are on it, one that springs to mind is Blake Lively, the actress. Halle Berry too. I think because you virtually eliminate carbs on it you need a lot of fat apparently. So as long as you get enough calories from fat it should be safe in my opinion.
Yeah technology is scary now. I regret spending so much of my childhood playing the Mega Drive, SNES and Sony PlayStation. I admire people who spent their youth learning a musical instrument, reading etc. I got into all that a bit late, trying to catch up now. But then as you say everyone's trying to outdo each other in the business world, it could be robots running the show soon. Who knows what the future holds.
I'm learning Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. I like it though it's a little challenging on the acoustic guitar, have to change the style a bit because it's an electric guitar song.
There should be a re-examination of everyone with a mental health diagnosis IMO to screen for Autism. I've known one or two people with mental health diagnoses who I think are being let down by the system and would get more appropriate help if they were recognised as Autistic (unless I'm speculating inaccurately but I doubt it).
It must be an absolute pain to have lots of food sensitivities. I've never had any, although I seem to have acquired a recent sensitivity to aniseed, bizarrely.
If you're only drinking when you're out I'm guessing it's more of a social crutch then?
I'm not convinced that the Keto diet is actually that safe as a long term thing. The body does need carbohydrates for energy and it is much easier for our bodies to break down carbohydrates for energy than protein or fat, a lot easier. You might find that you feel very wiped out and lacking in energy if you go totally carb free. A high fat diet isn't good for the heart either.
I've never been one for playing on computers or anything technological really. I've always been a massive reader though I don't get much time to read at the moment with my youngest two children still being very young and time consuming! Its good to read though, you can learn so much from reading.
I love the song Nothing else matters, it's a good song to play on the acoustic guitar too. How far have you got with learning it? The Unforgiven is another good Metallica song to play on the acoustic guitar. I have my dad's old Acoustic guitar in my loft. I tried to learn to pay it a few years ago but I'm not suited to playing the guitar. I used to be really good on the steel drums way back in the 1980's and the recorder! Used to be ok on the Clarinet too. I wouldn't try to play now though, I'd probably end up scaring small children from the noise!
I think that there are a lot of people who are either incorrectly diagnosed with mental health illness when they're actually autistic or correctly diagnosed with mental health illnesses as a consequence of being autistic but no health professionals have recognised that they are autistic yet. I have at least a couple of friends who have mental health diagnoses but that I'm sure are actually autistic but they keep getting laughed off by their GP every time that they suggest the possibility of autism.
Well hopefully it doesn't go beyond aniseed for you!
Yep the food sensitivities have scarred me, there's no escaping them. They affect a lot. I don't go on holiday unless it's a self-catering apartment or hotel room with a kitchen so I can control all my food. Perhaps there's a way I could eat a daily caloric fulfilment without cooking, not figured that out yet though.
You might be right about the Keto diet not being safe long term. So far it's new so there's no well established evidence yet. There's all sorts of weird eating habits out there though. I found a video on YouTube about 10 people who eat only one thing for every meal, and this has been normal for them for years. For one person it was tinned spaghetti, for another cheese, for someone else pizza.
The drinking out is a social crutch, sometimes I've used it as an antidepressant too (even though that's illogical). It's hard to live drug free in Britain. There was a news report only yesterday about how we take more (I won't name the drug for fear of breaking rules but you might guess what it is) and drink more during binge sessions here than anywhere else in the world, I believe. I don't fully understand the reasons but clearly there's something about our culture that drives people to it. But I don't want to be just another statistic. You shouldn't let stats rule your life, I suppose.
I can play all the chords for Nothing Else Matters but I haven't memorised it at all yet. That's something I've never actually done. I play from a book and I need to learn to memorise songs soon, otherwise I'd look a bit odd busking from a book. I sing along with it too.
It's not easy learning music. I stank at the guitar until I got a luthier to do his wizardly handiwork on it. They adjust it to make it all feel easier to use and sound better. It was like a different instrument afterwards. Just thought I'd mention it in case you didn't know about that side of things, in case you wanted to get the guitar out of the loft. Sorry if I'm stating the obvious to you.
Steel drums, that's ace. They sound like paradise.
Ha ha it would be funny in a way if you scared the children. Usually it's the kids who drive the parents nuts with their out of tune violins!
It must be really difficult to find foods that are safe to eat if you have a lot of allergies. How severely do you get the allergic reaction? Have you tried clean eating? Where you cook everything from scratch, then you know exactly what you're putting into whatever it is that you're cooking. I'm sure that there must be some websites with recipe ideas for people suffering from various types of food intolerances.
There's some really weird diet fads out there. How on earth can eating only one thing per meal be healthy? As I said before, I just stick to clean eating then I can eat the variety of food across the different food groups but without all the processed junk. Food optimisation is what it's called, you learn how to eat food that is the most useful to your body so that you're getting the most nutrition out of everything that you eat rather than just eating stodge for the sake of eating.
I think it's quite common for people to use drinking as a social crutch in this country, especially among Autistic people where maybe it's easier and less stress inducing to socialize when drunk. It's probably better to learn social skills though, then you might feel more confident in social situations without feeling the need to drink so much? I've used it as an 'anti-depressant' myself in the past, it is counterproductive but it blocks things out doesn't it, you don't think about whatever is bothering you so much when you're drunk.
Aw good luck with learning the rest of Nothing else matters. I guess it would be sensible to memorise the songs if your going to be busking. You may need to remember quite a few of them too? Thank you for the advice regarding getting my guitar adjusted to make it easier for me to play.
I'd better go as I have to be up at the Scout Campsite in a couple of hours as we are holding a Beaver Scout Sleepover tonight. Hopefully it runs without incident, it should do with the amount of effort and paperwork that I've put into it.
Hope you have a good weekend
The reaction to foods for me is severe. I didn't know that was what clean eating meant but yeah I do that. I cook almost everything from scratch. I read every last ingredient on whatever I buy too. I'm careful in that way.
Hope the Beaver Scout event goes well for you tonight.