question about disclosing at work

Hi raspberry. Thanks for responding to my post!

Yeah, it does sound like a very positive experience! I agree it was also very good timing! I'm happy for you that they responded well and were very supportive.

I hadn't been as brave to disclose before a formal diagnosis. I had a meltdown a few months ago, it was really just me crying to myself, but somehow they interpreted that it was directed towards the people around me. I still haven't disclosed, as it seems a bit post hoc...

Thanks for sharing your experience and bravery. I hope if I do disclose one day, the experience will be as positive as yours.

Hi BitsOfFluff, thank you very much for sharing your experience. Sorry it took me a couple of days to reply, as I haven't been on the forum over Easter. I really enjoyed reading your "small essay"!

I think you described a very interesting experience, and I guess it would have been something that I would have expected to happen most commonly - disclosing could result in both good and bad things. I'm really glad to hear that your manager has been very supportive, and I hope you can focus on the positive sides of disclosing! 

I can imagine what it might be like in the presence of the senior managers. I haven't disclosed yet as I'm still uncertain. But based on previous experience on other things, or watching their reaction to other people, it's often the case that people avoid people who are different from them. I have experienced similar situations feeling like a social outcast.

I really like the approach that you are taking with your supportive manager. I think it's very good advice in general. I also have a supportive friend at work, and I am in need of ideas on how to repay her. I think being cautious of what to bring up and doing voluntary work are good ideas. 

Wish you all the best with everything!

That sounds like a cool story! You are fortunate that you have team members who understand and embrace neurodiversity. Wish you all the best at your new role!

Really sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with recruitment.

I sometimes wonder how can one tell whether it is discrimination or whether one is not skilled enough? It's possible that a company "decides" to not hire someone because they know about their diagnosis, but they may tell the interviewee that it's because of some other reason (like someone else was more suitable). We can't really know for sure, since we don't have access to how other people performed in the interview. 

I guess disclosing can act as a filter for finding good employers. Someone who is willing to hire you despite  a diagnosis shows that they might be more accepting and inclusive. It might be harder to find these people, but hopefully, after you've found one, things will be a bit easier onwards. 

I'm a teacher and have told a few people, but mainly key ones like head/AHT/HoD. It's good that they then know why I might struggle and understand. Eg the other day I was in an assembly and they were starting to play music (I have very sensitive hearing which causes pain) and I just said to the AHT "I'm off" and left without it being any fuss.

It seemed a big step for me to 'come out'. 

But people gossip. They begin to wonder why you are getting perceived 'special treatment' and they dont see you as disabled, since the problems appear to be one of attitude.

i initially just told a trusted colleague or two, to which the reply was of the order ' Now tell me something I don't know', so obviously people had noticed I was exhibiting traits.

i didnt want to make a big announcement, so I just told the office gossip and she duly let everyone know as I knew she would!  And the result was 90 per cent supportive, there are still those who always will think it is a behaviour issue.

As part of my Access to Work funding there was training for staff on my difficulties, for which thankfully I wasnt there.  But I had seen the training beforehand by way of the slides and aporoved it, and once again feedback was very positive.

i think sometimes we worry too much about such things.  A good employer will give very positive support and help.  A poor employer will find fault.  And this will only be a reflection as to how they behave to all their staff who have needs, whether autistic or not. A poor employer is a poor employet, and not just to autistic employees.

It took a long time for me to finally have my employer treat me properly. But now I am finally treated with respect, have a reasonable amount of autonomy and am not constantly pulled up for minor indiscretions.  In short, I no longer dread going to work each day for fear  of not fitting in.  I am no longer afraid of approaching my manager or for asking for time off or saying I need a short break to clear my head. 

And at one time I could not see this happening at all.

Hello :)

I didn't set out to disclose at work but had a meltdown/extreme reaction to an unclear situation and walked out leading to questions. I work in a school and felt I had to explain my behaviour to the head of school so told her I was waiting to be assessed for asd. She took it very well and the timing was perfect because I needed a few mornings off for the assessment process. I got my diagnosis last week and I think it provides them with an explanation as to why I may sometimes come across uncertain or awkward. Yesterday I was unsure how to react in a scenario and it was because I'd never been in that situation before, which they understood and gave me some guidance to follow. Only the head and deputy know and I am not ready for it to be widely known but it has been a positive experience so far!

I disclosed to my manager after I had gone through the pre assessment and was told I would be receiving a full assessment. She has been very supportive in small ways such as giving me total permission to 'escape' if I feel the need as long as I find some time to sit down with her afterwards and talk it through. I am also allowed to step out during the louder parts of our company events and small details like that. She is not from the older generation.

I know she has informed (with my consent) her manager and a couple of the senior managers who are of the older generation. Fear is the best way I can describe their reaction. I think they do not understand the concept and rather than try and learn about it they just interact with me as little as possible so i guess it could be worse. 

I think others take their queues from these senior managers, I get lots of weird looks from the other people who work in the same place as me, most people are politely friendly when interaction is needed with me, otherwise they just avoid me. I do not know if it is common knowledge at this point and that is the reason or they are just copying the senior managers reactions. I try to limit my stimming as much as possible though i have found myself stuck in some patterns (such as walking down a particular corridor having to touch the frame of each door I pass) which I am pretty sure have been noted, i dont know if it would be fair of me to blame the senior managers.

The few times I have built up the nerve to try and interact with people i believe i would get on with well it has been cut short as others make jokes and tease for being one of the few I interact with. I have not shared these experiences with my manager, i have no doubt she would try and tackle them but i fear that would just make things worse and I really like my job, i don't want to have to find another one. 

As such I think disclosure has proven a good and a bad thing. it is good because my manager happens to be good and it has meant I have been able to stay in the job that I like. It is bad because i think i am permanently labelled, I am automatically excluded from many things and many opportunities and I am a social outcast (although to be fair i think i would be anyway because i am me). Even with a supportive manager I am cautious to bring up issues as I fear that her goodwill will dry up eventually, i also do a lot of extra work voluntarily to, in my own head at least, repay my manager for her support.

Sorry this has turned into a small essay, i am not sure I have answered the question....

I declared at an interview for a new role, the day before my formal diagnosis.  I inadvertently declared to the whole team when we were on a training course and the trainer was going on about how we should all show empathy and automatically know what to do.  The team leader pointed out that her niece was autistic and would really struggle with this.  The trainer (training us on disability awareness!) didn’t accept this point of view.  I then just said “I am autistic”.

Ive had loads of support from the team as a whole.  It helps that I work in a small team and many of them are neurodiverse and/or know someone who is.  

It’s the first time I’ve felt able to be “me” at work.

Signed up this week, should have done it sooner but the clusterF$%^ meant that responsibilities with my bullying damager and I were unknown (Thanks to some on here who pointed me in the right direction).  

Started back to work this week and have already has a meltdown due to someone who is supposed to be a Mental Health First Aider who never saw the signs I gave before snapping.  The "Access to Work" focal point is in the picture with my perceptions/truth and has experienced similar in the past with other employers.  

Point - How can it be that there is no power by the government agencies (DWP) to address the inequality that people with an undiagnosed/invisible disability/impairment/condition even where there is a legal precedent (Equality Act 2010)?

This is the same with me.  I’m not keen on the person that’s supposed to be helping me though.  How long have you had access to work support for? 

The problem with electronics is that it's all so tiny and the media make it look easy and this internet of things BS has people beleiving that they can actually buy a development kit and have a "product" up and running in 5 minutes. All very well and good for personal projects but in the real world where you have to mae 100's as cheaply as possible there is a lot of legwork to get there but when most people look at a final product they don't get the work that goes into it.

This is something I’ve definitely learned throughout all of this.  They come across nice and helpful...but the reality is very different.  

I was told after disclosing that my recruitment was a disappointment.  It’s been a very difficult few months.  Knowing I’m not welcome there at all, but I have to work somewhere. 

NAS50557 said:

I was told before disclosing there were no concerns with my work, but since disclosing they've pretty much done all they can to make it as difficult for me as possible so they can turn round and say I'm not capable of doing my job.

Often it reflects the prejudices of the senior manager. If they believe autistic people are undeserving of that job they  may take a view that you were a hiring/selection mistake. The disclosure tells them where to look for signs of your weaknesses. There is also the attitude of co-workers that shows in undermining and bullying you. It depends on the workplace and the job.

I now have Access to Work involved in mine and I have been open, honest and truthful with them from what I have been told.  The contact has so far been surprised at what I take as truth (told one thing three times over the past year = huge stressor as well as the others).  Now they are aware of this then I am sure it does not make my local management, HR and TU is a good light.

They still think they are in full control whilst not fully understanding what I have compiled.

NAS50557 said:

I've not found HR helpful at all, they've told me support has been give, but have no actual details of this when I ask.

The function of HR is not to assist employees.  They are there for the employer.  The same goes for Occupational Health.

That is why you need all the help you can get from other sources. 

I'm not familiar with electronics unfortunately, but it does sound like you are talented to be able to work in electronics! 

I've looked a bit into the Autism Hiring Program at Microsoft: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/diversity/inside-microsoft/cross-disability/hiring.aspx#coreui-heading-sp7tqqo and Auticon https://auticon.co.uk and they seem to have good support once you are offered a job. I don't know what it's like as an insider, so I can only read their website information. 

The problem is some companies are just chaotically run, mine is one coupled with the fact that due to my particular interest being electronics in what is a mechanical company my work and maybe I am viewed as a neccessary evil. So nothing is taken seriously and to be honest i have also stopped taking anything seriously.

Thanks for your reply. I find what you are saying very relatable. I've been through similar situations. I really hope that Access to Work will change things for the better for you! Yes, I'm considering disclosing because I've struggled with work and I hope there will be some more understanding, but I worry things will go the other way. I guess it really depends a lot on the people to whom you are disclosing.