question about disclosing at work

 thanks.  Yeah I agree about the people that are monitoring adjustments being the ones that administer them!  That's a good way of wording it.  I've not found HR helpful at all, they've told me support has been give, but have no actual details of this when I ask.  I've got Access to Work involved, so things may change, but I'm not convinced.  Things have escalated so bad.  But in my previous roles I've got on very well with some of my line managers and work has been positive and enjoyable.  I'd say the fact that you're considering disclosing it maybe suggests you would like to and that you may personally benefit from doing so?  Hopefully you have a better employer!  And if you've been there a long time circumstances are different to mine and you should get a more supportive response.  Let us know what you decide and how it goes.

Hi NAS50557, thanks for your reply and sharing your story. I'm really sorry to hear how things have turned out for you. From all the (really helpful) posts by many people here, it seems that it can go both ways. I guess that's the scary part for me! I feel that it's really bad that the people who are monitoring how adjustments are offered are exactly the same people who administer them, so they can say that they are doing everything they can to help you when they in fact have not. I wish you all the best. Maybe you can find a better employer than your current one.

Yes, fair point. I do agree with you the risk of non-disclosure, like having a meltdown. It would help a lot in these situations. And I can see why it's good to disclose it beforehand. But I also fear what a lot of people have mentioned about discrimination, for example, it's not always easy to bring evidence if it's like subtle differences in the way they talk to you. Or even if they give you less opportunities, they could say it was based on skill and not discrimination (even if that wasn't the reason). I guess it's just hard for me to weigh the consequences on both sides. 

I second the thank you from qwerty.  This is really good advice.  

Qwerty I disclosed to my employer and things got a lot worse for me.  I don't want to put you off, and obviously I have no idea who your employer is or what they are like.  A good line manager really does make so much difference.  I was told before disclosing there were no concerns with my work, but since disclosing they've pretty much done all they can to make it as difficult for me as possible so they can turn round and say I'm not capable of doing my job.  I think i'm facing dismissal very soon.  I've not had any adjustments made, and the ones I've asked for that are standard adjustments for people with autism have all been rejected, but they continue to stick together and say they've offered me support.  I would disclose it again in future however, and hope my next employer is more reasonable and understanding.  

NAS62204 said:

"You don't act like you have aspergers"

Which is, of course, just another way of saying "You don't seem to behave in compliance with the expectations I've built up from seeing and absorbing stereotypical examples of autistic people in films like 'Rainman', programmes like 'Big Bang Theory' and books like 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time' and 'The Rosie Project'."  It often strikes me that the people who are most ignorant about the condition are the same ones who will be the first to say "Oh, Asperger's, yes... I know all about that."

(in case you missed it on another thread, there's an interesting article on autistic stereotyping in popular culture here: Autism from the Inside)

I know it's an individual decision, but personally I would always disclose my condition - the same as I would any physical condition.  If they use it to discriminate against you in any way, you have legal protections (it's a good idea to be in a union).  I wouldn't want to work for an employer who did choose to discriminate, anyway.  The risk of non-disclosure is that if anything happens that comes back to being associated with your condition (a meltdown at work for instance), then you run the risk of being disciplined or, at worst, fired for not being upfront about it. This happened to me once and ended up with a severe reprimand when the condition was finally disclosed through occupational health.

The fact you have been doing a job for a number of years would show you are not incapable

There are codes of practice as well as guidance on acts of parliament relating to employment and discrimination, and implementation and arguments about law is what makes lawyers wealthy.

A blind taxi driver would not get a job, as it would be reasonable to expect a taxi driver to see.  However, this would not mean a taxi drivee on becoming blind would automatically get dismissed as it would be expected that attempts were made by the employer to find work to which they were suitable - in the operation centre for example. 

Difficulties can arise even if you have been employed by the same employer for a large number of years.  My problems arose after fifteen years when my job was privatised and I was Tuped over.  I was given tasks unsuitable for me.  I was off work with anxiety and depression, and so sought a diagnosis for what I had suspected for a number of years.  I was on the cusp of being dismissed were it not for declaring my condition.

Unless you are looking for some outrageous adjustment which is not reasonable, there is every reason a disclosure will help. Seek advice from your union if you are a member, the CAB, or Acas.  And think seriously about Access to Work, they helped me tremendously. 

Thank you, Tinyexplorer, for your advice! I agree with the points you listed. And thanks so much for listing the pros and cons and what to consider, it's really helpful to have them all listed out like that. 

I will read the Equality Act and think carefully about disclosing. I agree it's risky, and that's one of the reasons I've been so hesitant. I guess one of the scary bits is that once you disclose, you can't un-disclose. 

Thanks for sharing your experiences during application. I have heard similar stories about how employers will try to dismiss people who have a diagnosis. I agree it's sad reality. 

In my case, I have already been in the place I work for a few years, so they know that I can do my job. But I struggle with other stuff, especially social stuff at work, and unexpected changes. I am thinking of disclosing because I would like some support and understanding. But I guess the problem now is that I've waited so many years. I feel it would be easier if I told them earlier.

You're right, it's my decision, and I will have to be informed and think carefully about it. Thanks again for helping list out the things to consider.

Before disclosing, I would really suggest to read the Equality Act carefully and reflect on the reasons you want to disclose and the line you are going to take.

One need to read and understand the meaning of disability - doing  things differently, while achieving the same result.

Note that one still need to be able to do the job, be qualified, have skills and qualities required by the job description. Otherwise they are in their right to dismiss. One need to be able to demonstrate that the disability does not prevent from performing the duties to the same results as others, but may require reasonable adjustments on the how we do it.

There is a fine line on how to articulate the disclosure: what exactly are the daily activities that are impaired, how are they impaired and how it doesn't preclude from doing the job...but how it make us doing it differently, hence the need for reasonable adjustments. It is always a good idea to do some prior research to have examples of possible reasonable adjustments, to know what you want. 

Disclosing is always risky as many already explained.

I was at a stage once when I really wanted to disclose it even during application, to say this is who I am. A recruitment consultant dismissed the idea in horror and ridicule, saying it is not relevant, employers don't need to know that. They need to know that you are 'talent' and you are good at your job. This upset and disheartened me a lot. I felt invalidated and disempowered. But this is a glimpse of sad reality. There are a lot of people out there who do not fully embrace neurodiversity. 

There were incidences where people disclosed and were dismissed for not disclosing earlier during application. This went to tribunal and I think was deemed to be discrimination. But it could happen.

It makes sense to disclose if one need reasonable adjustments and if the dx explains some of the issues the employer has already noticed.

It makes less sense do disclose just because... But then again, it is part of our identity, so unless we start pushing it right in the face of employers so to speak, there will continue to be the attitude that it is something to hide.

It's your decision, but you want it to be informed and carefully thought through:)

Thanks so much, Trainspotter, for your very detailed reply and some very good advice. Thanks also for the link to the website - I didn't realise they had so much information, it's wonderful! 

I agree, I probably wouldn't consider disclosing if I didn't need any assistance. But I do experience all the difficulties you mentioned: delayed comprehension, sensory overload, do not like change, like to do things my own way, liable to misunderstand what others are saying, take things literally, do not have good 'social interaction', and many other things... I think any support or even just understanding would be very helpful to my current situation.

One thing I worry about is that my supervisor might not understand (e.g., he might not really know what autism or Asperger Syndrome is), or worse might be that he might not believe the condition exists (there are people who think it's just a lack of practice or not trying hard enough to socialise). I have no idea what he will think, so it's just scary.

Another thing is that I have worked here for a few years now without saying anything about autism. I have struggled massively, but often just kept it to myself, e.g., like working extra hours at night just to keep up, crying in the bathroom or at home. I would really like people at work to understand my difficulties better, but they might believe that I have been fine in the past few years, and how come I am 'suddenly' having autism? It would be a lot easier to disclose if I did so at the beginning. But I'm not sure how one should do it after so many years.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling. Yeah, I agree it can be difficult to be different, and also difficult to get adjustments. I've been looking a bit into autism-friendly employers, and can only hope it will make a difference (if I can get the job).

Yes, that's kind of what I have been thinking as well (to just tell my supervisors and not irrelevant colleagues). I would like my some help at work.... but I guess I'm just scared. I have a lot of trouble dealing with change. And since I haven't said anything in the past few years, suddenly saying it now would mean a change in my knowledge of what they know. And there might be changes to how people respond, and the change and uncertainties are quite scary. Good luck with continuing asking for accommodations! I have had many experiences of being ignored, and I think keep working on it and reminding people is often needed to move forward.

What you are saying makes a lot of sense. I have experienced lots of unfair treatment from people who claim they are being fair. I guess there's just no good way of monitoring it...since the people who monitor it (e.g., the company) are also the people who decide who fair or not (e.g., the company)

That sounds great. Thanks for sharing your experience. I really like how you were able to casually inform them, and I also like the few sentences you've told them. It seems a good way to inform people while telling them that you are still competent in your job. I'm glad to hear that your boss and colleagues are so supportive.

I declared myself as autistic (before diagnosis) and in fact it helped me tremendously.

I am sure I would have been dismissed if they hadn't known.  You will have to remember that unless your company is aware of an impairment, they are under no obligation to do anything about it.

I would not say it was an easy journey after disclosure, but they did make some noises.  And with the help of access to work (they would have wondered why I was getting Access to Work in and in any case it is a condition of Access to Work that your employer knows about your condition) I have received great help.

If you think your condition does not affect you at work, and you don't want any assistance, you may decide that there is no advantage in disclosing.  But just because you don't disclose does not mean that other people do not realise you are 'different'.  And there may have an inner firework waiting for its touch paper to be ignited for a spectacular display simply because others do not know of your condition.  If you are affected by delayed comprehension, sensory overload in any of your senses, do not like change, like to do things your own way, are liable to misunderstand what others are saying, take things literally, do not have good 'social interraction', get flustered by too many instructions at once, and many other things, you are liable at some time to be criticised or put on a 'performance plan' because your work is being affected by the environment of a workplace.

Disclosing your condition will open doors for you.  If you do not think your employer would understand, there are some good resources available for employers, and you could print these out and give them to your employer along with anything which will help explain how you are affected.  If there is a local autism charity they may be able to help you if you make an appointment for a chat with them.

Autism West Midlands has some useful documents which you print out:

https://www.autismwestmidlands.org.uk/online-resources/information-resources/

You should be able to ask for someone to accompany you to any 'meeting' with your manager (workplace colleague, union official, or autism support worker) as a 'reasonable adjustment' at the very least, but there again only if you disclose.  Many situations you have a statutory right, but things like ''iniitial investigations' you don't, so having the assurance that you will can have some support with you is very helpful.

Access to Work can provide funding for a support worker, training for managers and colleagues, and suggest to the managers what adjustments should be provided.  Training is very helpful as it will assist if things are not done to help you later as your managers could not then try to plead ignorance of your needs and the way you are affected.

i think work know I am different but just despise me for it. They would never be capale of adjusting, as it is they can drive an NT mad should an NT ever give a toss about their job, those that do either stop or move on and I hope to do the same. If my boss has not replied in 2 weeks to an email from me informing him that we need to accomodate the work I am doing for the company so that I stop keeping company data on my personal laptop will he ever adjust to me porsonally? nope!

I have disclosed to my boss but not my colleagues. They have been kind of good about it! I did it because I needed some accommodations to do my job to the best of my ability and some (flexible working) have been put in place which has been extremely useful. On the other hand they definately still don’t get it! I have been trying to explain that I struggle with change and uncertainty and what would help in terms of communication. Ie a bit of warning, specific information as to what’s happening and what I need to do (if it’s a new or changing role) in writing. So far I’m being ignored-I’m working on it!

Some people accept it, some recognise it already (personal experience) and others ignore Company Policies and Procedures as well as Equality Act 2010 - You do not need a diagnosis and if you do then you do not need to disclose it.  

Some companies talk the talk about equality/diversity but do have a lot to learn about anyone with a mental health condition.

I was quite lucky really. I casually dropped it to my line manager and the assistant manager of my work I was undergoing diagnosis. I work in a school so some adults were not entirely supportive but didn't put me off either. Others blatantly said I have all the typical tendancies (being referred to as Sheldon by some colleagues!). One colleague gave me a paperclip and said "what is it?" I had a typical autistic response to list everything but paperclip!

The official diagnosis came through, and I decided people should know. I knew I had to approach the big boss before doing that, and although I wasn't required to disclose it, decided I'd rather be sacked than keep it secret.

My aspergers was recognised back in 2009 and fully diagnosed some 6 years later after a hiatus due to a person in my training school telling me I might scupper my chances of getting a job with a diagnosis, so I put it on hold till I'd established myself in my career.

Before I told anyone, I rehearsed carefully a couple of small sentences just in case. I practiced how I'd start the conversation, and my follow up sentence of "I have done this job for x years now, so you know I can do it and I'm not looking for any special treatment, I'm just telling you so your aware in case anything does happen".

I was terrified to tell her, but my boss was very supportive. She actually referenced a few other staff members who are not diagnosed autistic but have the same blinkered vision to getting a job done to a high spec or achieving a vision. She said it can actually be a positive trait in my profession. Its a school, so we have alot of autistic/aspergic kids. I suppose I was lucky that she understood 90s kids didn't get the diagnosis, and it doesn't go away once you turn 18. I left school in 2006 age 18, but even my old secondary teachers now say that my school failed me by not noticing my problems and tendencies, but in their defence it wasn't a widely recognised trait even then. 

I actually tell most colleagues within a few days of working with them about my aspergers now. They are all very supportive. Some people out of my work are not so supportive... "You don't act like you have aspergers"... Thats because I can pretend for short amounts of time but eventually it shows through. Luckily they use the word 'act' rather than 'look' because I'd otherwise possibly return with "You don't look like someone who's ignorant but there you go!" :S