.

I do periodically. During menopause I had some major ones that cause me to withdraw from life for 15 months or so; but mostly I have short panicked ones. I've had them all my life; but since I didn't know I was autistic most of that time I didn't call them meltdowns. I'd say (This place feels creepy - let's leave. And I'd head out so abruptly my friends almost didn't have time to see what direction I've gone. Or I'd smell something at work and feel my throat starting to constrict and cough from it and I would stand up, take no more than a few seconds to lock my computer and get my purse, say very loudly and unselfconsciously "what is that smell, it's making cough" and head for the nearest exit or an open window where I would lean my head out and take deep breaths.

Believe it or not, I used to wonder why people cheerfully called me 'weird.'

I just always assumed everyone including me were same-brained. As opposed to normal-brained or autism-brained. What I did wonder a lot was why they would just sit there and cough, when there were bad fumes in the air. I had no clue they were unalarmed by something that only made them cough and that they also didn't want to perform any socially jarring actions. NT people just assume everyone is unalarmed by minor physical discomfort and that everyone has social inhibitions and they have no idea there are people like me who freak out when something is wrong physically and are unable to see social expectations. So it doesn't get talked about. Generally the autistic person is in the minority and left to make guesses about why all the other people react so different, and it is quite confusing.

After I learned I was autistic I reviewed my entire life... that took a few weeks because there were 53 years full of misunderstanding to review by then. I found that I had hit on my on coping mechanisms to prevent meltdown from happening, and that my abrupt changing of location, putting down food after one bite, adjusting the airflow and temperature in my environment as soon as I detected something I didn't like, bringing my own chair and buying my own keyboard tray for work rather than wait for my employer to order one for me. I had some other term for this... independent? But post-diagnosis I realized I was actually proactively preventing the conditions that could lead to meltdown. And that the times I had melted down, which I had previously called breaking down or crying or going nutso or curling up into a ball of depression, the times I went into meltdown were when I was effectively trapped and couldn't either change my environment or remove myself from it.

I can prevent a meltdown by doing something proactive that makes me feel more in control of the situation. Often the feeling of control is enough all by itself to prevent a meltdown, it almost doesn't matter what the action is. My trigger is fear for my health, so I can get panicked when something makes me cough, or itch, or shake, or feel tingles all over. Usually the thing is actually nearly harmless; but it would be the fear and not the slightly irritating thing that causes the meltdown. The fear gets under control when I feel that I have the power to endure or not endure that irritating thing and when I do something active in order to prove it.

I do periodically. During menopause I had some major ones that cause me to withdraw from life for 15 months or so; but mostly I have short panicked ones. I've had them all my life; but since I didn't know I was autistic most of that time I didn't call them meltdowns. I'd say (This place feels creepy - let's leave. And I'd head out so abruptly my friends almost didn't have time to see what direction I've gone. Or I'd smell something at work and feel my throat starting to constrict and cough from it and I would stand up, take no more than a few seconds to lock my computer and get my purse, say very loudly and unselfconsciously "what is that smell, it's making cough" and head for the nearest exit or an open window where I would lean my head out and take deep breaths.

Believe it or not, I used to wonder why people cheerfully called me 'weird.'

I just always assumed everyone including me were same-brained. As opposed to normal-brained or autism-brained. What I did wonder a lot was why they would just sit there and cough, when there were bad fumes in the air. I had no clue they were unalarmed by something that only made them cough and that they also didn't want to perform any socially jarring actions. NT people just assume everyone is unalarmed by minor physical discomfort and that everyone has social inhibitions and they have no idea there are people like me who freak out when something is wrong physically and are unable to see social expectations. So it doesn't get talked about. Generally the autistic person is in the minority and left to make guesses about why all the other people react so different, and it is quite confusing.

After I learned I was autistic I reviewed my entire life... that took a few weeks because there were 53 years full of misunderstanding to review by then. I found that I had hit on my on coping mechanisms to prevent meltdown from happening, and that my abrupt changing of location, putting down food after one bite, adjusting the airflow and temperature in my environment as soon as I detected something I didn't like, bringing my own chair and buying my own keyboard tray for work rather than wait for my employer to order one for me. I had some other term for this... independent? But post-diagnosis I realized I was actually proactively preventing the conditions that could lead to meltdown. And that the times I had melted down, which I had previously called breaking down or crying or going nutso or curling up into a ball of depression, the times I went into meltdown were when I was effectively trapped and couldn't either change my environment or remove myself from it.

I can prevent a meltdown by doing something proactive that makes me feel more in control of the situation. Often the feeling of control is enough all by itself to prevent a meltdown, it almost doesn't matter what the action is. My trigger is fear for my health, so I can get panicked when something makes me cough, or itch, or shake, or feel tingles all over. Usually the thing is actually nearly harmless; but it would be the fear and not the slightly irritating thing that causes the meltdown. The fear gets under control when I feel that I have the power to endure or not endure that irritating thing and when I do something active in order to prove it.