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  • I’m so glad it’s not just me!  Over the last few years I’ve noticed more and more no one else seems to run into constant problems like I do.  I was always in trouble at school, college, and now work, and get so so frustrated and overwhelmed by things but have never understood that’s what’s been going on.  I’m determined to stay in my current job!  I feel like if I walked out permanently, like you I would really regret it.

  • That totally rings true for me...I have walked out so many time...from jobs, parties you name it. I have learnt to resist the urge now (I'm 51!!) but it has caused no end of problems in the past! I agree with the judgement...or if I feel out of control of a situation...I walked out of a primary school when I was teacher training. The biggest regret of my life! What amazes me is  that people have (apart from the primary school) been very understanding in the past. I guess I am a diligent worker when I am there!! I have never been diagnosed as Autistic, but my son has Asperger's and when I read up on it, I suddenly realised why I had always found life, and making/ keeping friends so difficult!! I have learnt to say when I need help or am upset about something now, which has helped a lot...Citalopram helps a lot too!!

  • I do periodically. During menopause I had some major ones that cause me to withdraw from life for 15 months or so; but mostly I have short panicked ones. I've had them all my life; but since I didn't know I was autistic most of that time I didn't call them meltdowns. I'd say (This place feels creepy - let's leave. And I'd head out so abruptly my friends almost didn't have time to see what direction I've gone. Or I'd smell something at work and feel my throat starting to constrict and cough from it and I would stand up, take no more than a few seconds to lock my computer and get my purse, say very loudly and unselfconsciously "what is that smell, it's making cough" and head for the nearest exit or an open window where I would lean my head out and take deep breaths.

    Believe it or not, I used to wonder why people cheerfully called me 'weird.'

    I just always assumed everyone including me were same-brained. As opposed to normal-brained or autism-brained. What I did wonder a lot was why they would just sit there and cough, when there were bad fumes in the air. I had no clue they were unalarmed by something that only made them cough and that they also didn't want to perform any socially jarring actions. NT people just assume everyone is unalarmed by minor physical discomfort and that everyone has social inhibitions and they have no idea there are people like me who freak out when something is wrong physically and are unable to see social expectations. So it doesn't get talked about. Generally the autistic person is in the minority and left to make guesses about why all the other people react so different, and it is quite confusing.

    After I learned I was autistic I reviewed my entire life... that took a few weeks because there were 53 years full of misunderstanding to review by then. I found that I had hit on my on coping mechanisms to prevent meltdown from happening, and that my abrupt changing of location, putting down food after one bite, adjusting the airflow and temperature in my environment as soon as I detected something I didn't like, bringing my own chair and buying my own keyboard tray for work rather than wait for my employer to order one for me. I had some other term for this... independent? But post-diagnosis I realized I was actually proactively preventing the conditions that could lead to meltdown. And that the times I had melted down, which I had previously called breaking down or crying or going nutso or curling up into a ball of depression, the times I went into meltdown were when I was effectively trapped and couldn't either change my environment or remove myself from it.

    I can prevent a meltdown by doing something proactive that makes me feel more in control of the situation. Often the feeling of control is enough all by itself to prevent a meltdown, it almost doesn't matter what the action is. My trigger is fear for my health, so I can get panicked when something makes me cough, or itch, or shake, or feel tingles all over. Usually the thing is actually nearly harmless; but it would be the fear and not the slightly irritating thing that causes the meltdown. The fear gets under control when I feel that I have the power to endure or not endure that irritating thing and when I do something active in order to prove it.

  • I start getting twitching, and obsess over things, and get an urge to move.  For years when ive started feeling frustrated or trapped I’ve just left that moment, walked off and gone and done my own thing.  Sensory overload causes it, peoples judgment and a feeling of being trapped without control of a situation I guess.

    Does anyone else suffer with just constantly falling asleep? I can get very twitchy and so uncomfortable that I would just walk and walk and walk for hours, or totally shut down.  It’s not a nice falling asleep for a little nap, it’s a total shutdown of everything?

  • When I meltdown I just stop.  Total stop.  I withdraw from everything and then I purge the feelings by playing music that forces me to cry.  I tend to choose times when I won't be disturbed (I guess that's a control thing of not showing weakness) and just let it all out.   It's not sad music - it's just music that I find highly emotional - the result is the same - floods of tears..

  • It was a narcissistic bully who caused all my problems in my last job.  I can usually spot the types, and I had my suspicions about her from the start.  But she seemed so very sympathetic and understanding about my autism.  She was just building up a store of stuff that she could use against me when the time came.  We have some egos in my current job.  I'm keeping myself to myself this time.

  • In my workplace the Overloading is part my mind but a lot of it is everyone else around me.  Because they have no idea what it is like for me, never appear to be listening, putting all the pressure/stress/responsibility on me, etc.

    The overloading does not reduce, nothing I do is right, everything criticised, that I end up in meltdowns (albeit nowhere near the biggest one).  One or two now start to understand and realise I know what I am about but the damagers/bullies/ego's ignore it (and the crisis that it causes).

  • I wasn't diagnosed when I first came here but I soon realised this was the right place for me to come to for help. People that understand and have similar experiences can give much better advice.

    Ye I was really pleasantly surprised. My concentration is terrible so the idea of sitting and listening for 4 hours sounded like hell but it wasn't like that at all. And I did learn some things that I didn't actually know.

  • I laughed reading this. Your brain definitely works like mine. I accidentally got a speeding ticket in the summer and my brain decided that meant I was going to lose my license and ruin my life. In reality, I was offered a speed awareness course and didn't even get any points.

    It is good knowing you're not alone.

  • Do I need to be in hospital because I have one almost everyday....don't call them 'meltdowns' for me I call it being 'overloaded' because that's what happens to me, way too overstimulated from lack of filter on brain I think and having intense emotional responses to that ultimately leads to my brain and body shutting down, 

    The only way I think I could avoid them is by living in a coffin, or being the only person on planet earth....I am Legend film, that's my ideal scenario, but without the zombies, maybe a few likewise folks in the neighbouring states...

  • I usually end up trying extremely hard not to cry. I hate crying in front of people.

    Yes I'm terrible for dwelling on things. I'm not good at talking but generally my meltdowns happen at work and they are pretty good at talking me through it without expecting me to say much. I work in an SEN school so melt downs aren't exactly a rarity.

    If someone doesn't talk me through I go home and worry and worry and usually decide that I'm going to get sacked the next day. This has never been suggested but my brain likes worst case scenarios.

  • Many do but the "know it all" bully has no interest in my knowledge, skills and experience whilst only following the Company Procedures they want (ignoring key ones to of with health and wellbeing).

  • Hi Mazey,

    My last meltdown was in my last place of work.  It was caused, I can see now, by a gradual build up of stress during that day with some difficulties with the special needs service users I was working with.  Underscoring this, though, was some anxiety I had about working around a particular colleague.  Then things were finally brought to a head with her later that day when she engineered a situation that wrong-footed me, giving her an excuse to have a go at me.  It was then like a switch going off in my head.  I knew what was coming, and you would think in that situation I could have prevented it.  But I couldn't.  I punched a wall.  That dispersed the anxiety.  But, of course, it got me into trouble.  It was the beginning of the end for me, and I went sick.  I returned after a couple of weeks, but by then the damage was done.  I left soon afterwards, because just being at work after that was causing me too much anxiety.  Just being in that state could easily have prompted another meltdown any time.

    Generally, for me, it happens if some kind of underlying stress has something else added to it - like another stressful event spontaneously happening.  Supposing I'm trying to complete a task by a deadline, for instance, but then someone asks me to do something else... and then the phone rings.  Multiple demands on my time.  Or a quick build up of further anxiety when there's already some anxiety there.  It's like my mind shuts down because it can no longer cope with the inputs.  Like it's an already racing engine, but someone puts their foot on the accelerator suddenly and pushes it beyond its limits.  The meltdown usually lasts for a matter of seconds.  It may even be a split-second thing.  And then it's over.  It's usually something short and explosive.  A shout.  Or, at worst, hitting something.  I then simply need to get away from everyone and everything until I'm settled again.

  • Get this weird build up of emotions to my head. Stop being able to think straight. Usually end up doing one or more of the following: crying, shouting, swearing, completely shutting down.

    Triggers: overload, change/unexpected, being shouted at or told off, people not listening to me.

    It's often a combination of the above. And can be made worse by anxiety and tiredness.

    The only solution is to take myself away and have some alone time. This can stop it being full blown but I probably still shut down a little. If someone else has upset me I tend to need to talk it through otherwise the feelings tend to remain even after alone time. I have to have had time to calm down first though.

  • Yep... build up of things over time that I've not dealt with then some final straw tipping the balance, as Zomted says, that final thing could be trivial...

    Intense feeling of frustration/confusion, physically shaking, feeling of pent-up emotion that needs to be let out via crying or smashing things (as a teenager I put a couple of holes in doors and one time punched out an inset ceiling light).

    How do I stop them... in the first instance immense self-control and iron will - but that just puts them off and can't be done indefinitely as it just makes it worse in the end.

    Hard physical exercise seems to work as it provides a way to transmute emotional/mental pain into physical pain (had to go for a 10 mile run while visiting the inlaws last weekend to 'clear my head') but 'getting away' from the immediate source of stress & listening to LOUD music (particular favourite tracks) also seems to 'purge' the build-up...