Are you an autistic teacher?

I am a fully trained teacher.

I struggled greatly as a teacher and no longer teach. I actually no longer work as the burnout was so bad that I've never fully recovered enough to return to work.

I initially managed just under 1 academic year and then returning after my first burnout, I managed just over 1 academic year before burning out badly again.

Teaching became all consuming as I'm very perfectionistic.

I also found it overwhelming and therefore felt the need to "over" prepare in order to feel in control. Of course, that didn't actually help as I was an anxious mess trying to perfectly over prepare to feel in control of a situation that I was never truly going to be in control of.

I basically didn't cope. It was all too overwhelming for me though there was never actually any complaint about my ability to teach. My teaching was fine, apparently. I, however, was far from fine.

I'd always thought I'd like to teach... The reality was that teaching and I were incompatible. I will never return to teaching. Since being diagnosed, I am even more sure of that. I had no idea I was autistic when I decided to teach though now that seems ridiculous because I've always known I was different, I just didn't have a label to explain that difference.

I "enjoyed" pretending I was a functioning adult... It was painful and difficult and my health suffered greatly but it was "satisfying" that I'd got there and was doing what was expected of me. I was working and that's important to me. At the time, I couldn't see that being a total mess outside of work was a huge sign that I wasn't a functioning adult but I didn't realise then that I experience the world differently. I thought it was normal to feel so anxious, overwhelmed and completely consumed by the need to control something because life felt so out of control to me.

I apologise that there are no positives. Looking back, I can't even pretend that my good "performance" was a positive because everyday was just that, a performance/pretence, I was not being true to myself and not looking after myself and that is not functioning.

I am also a fully trained science teacher and relate to so much of this , I also left my teaching post at Oct Half term, it was soon after that I self diagnosed with autism, I stayed in teaching 6 years but was on supply for most of it and took alot of breaks I would get quickly burnts.

When I was teaching then I was good at teaching but the rest of my life fell apart.

Im sorry you had to leave but at the end of the day your health is number 1 priority.

I can see where youre coming from about "perfectionism". Ive learnt after 7 years that its a trade off. I feel if you are worth your salt as a teacher and to be resepected you need to have integrity which means doing things honestly, tjoroughly and correctly. This isnt possible if you want to keep a relatively good degree of mental health.Ive learned to cut corners but not at the expense of my students. This has meant ive come under fire for not completing paperwork properly. Im not bothered. In the class is where it matters to me. A colleahue once said "youll never be a perfect teacher, even when youre dead". Unfortunately its the managers who expect perfectionism. But they have to maintain high standards.

I couldn't see that being a total mess outside of work was a huge sign that I wasn't a functioning adult

This rang alarm bells for me today when i read it! I think often we are on autopilot so much we dont realise. I just dont know how much of my stress is down to the job or maybe being autistic. 

As i said below, teaching is a performance. I think most teachers wherever they are on the neurological spectrum would agree.

Im sorry you had to leave but at the end of the day your health is number 1 priority.

I can see where youre coming from about "perfectionism". Ive learnt after 7 years that its a trade off. I feel if you are worth your salt as a teacher and to be resepected you need to have integrity which means doing things honestly, tjoroughly and correctly. This isnt possible if you want to keep a relatively good degree of mental health.Ive learned to cut corners but not at the expense of my students. This has meant ive come under fire for not completing paperwork properly. Im not bothered. In the class is where it matters to me. A colleahue once said "youll never be a perfect teacher, even when youre dead". Unfortunately its the managers who expect perfectionism. But they have to maintain high standards.

I couldn't see that being a total mess outside of work was a huge sign that I wasn't a functioning adult

This rang alarm bells for me today when i read it! I think often we are on autopilot so much we dont realise. I just dont know how much of my stress is down to the job or maybe being autistic. 

As i said below, teaching is a performance. I think most teachers wherever they are on the neurological spectrum would agree.

Teaching is an extremely difficult profession, with a lot of people leaving due to stress etc, I have worked in various schools on supply, Teachers complained a lot about the stresses and strains of the job, and I too thought for a long time, everyone finds teaching hard, its the nature of the job type of things, Am just not great at dealing with it

But I realised a lot recently as I was researching into autism, that a lot of autisms traits on the outside seem the seem the same as neurotypical, for example a female on the spectrum  might just be seen as shy for most of her life, type of thing, but if you scratch beneath the service, their is a lot more going on.

In regards to teaching I don't think its just the job, I think its got a lot to do with executive functioning issues that most with autism have. Therefore teaching takes a lot more out of us then it would a NT. If am teaching that is all am doing I cant do anything else,i mentally struggle to switch of and it mentally exhausts me,