Published on 12, July, 2020
This is quite difficult for me to explain as im not quite sure myself whats going on. I have no formal diagnosis but trying to get a better understanding of myself through reading and this forum.
I dont know if i am experiencing some sort of burnout or shut down. This is my 5th week back in work since the Christmas break. The first week back already felt like a month. Im a teacher of adults. I love being in the classroom but i feel that everything else is taking its toll. To the point where im struggling at home to things like make tea or play with the cat.
Our managers are very nice but we have had more put on us in the past month. Each week at work someone is having a difficult week because of something specific. I feel like theres nothing specific for me but an accumulation. Its getting increasingly more difficult each day just in my general being of life. Its like the extra demands are having a knock on effect in the rest of my life. Im keeping my head above water but feel i could sink at any moment. We have to do a lot of work outside of teaching time and at home. Im accomplished in my job. I spent last year coasting through. I dont know what has changed other than these extra demands (which arent massive but seem to be ongoing. Im managing with them but feel like its taking up extra energy which is then being depleted for other life tasks). I dont know if its because ive had to make some (to me, unecessary) changes to the way i do things to please management. So its like unexpected changes to my routine. Ive felt it all building up. Past 2 days ive asked colleagues for help bevause i havent had any brain power to think of how or what to plan for class. Even for lessons ive taught many times before. Ive had a headache for 2 days which wont go. I came home today and couldnt concentrate to get my planning and paperwork done. I ended up finishing gone 8pm. My brain could no longer process. It was like it had stopped.
My partner started talking about DIY after this. This tipped me over the edge. Then he said hes fed up as things arent good between us at the moment. My brain was full. I could not compute or process. I coukdnt engahe with what he had just said. I didnt know what to do or how to express myself so i just broke down crying then got in bed to lie down. Its like each day i have less energy because i expended more than i shoukdve the day before. I feel im not recovering in time b4 the next day. I dont know if this is general mental health or AS. I do wonder if other ppl at work who are having the same demands put on them are coping/not coping similar to me. I dont know where the line is between AS and non-AS.
From my experience, I'd say the first thing to do is find a search engine and look for the Cambridge test. It will give you a good idea of how a diagnosis would go. If you are on the spectrum, it sounds like you are describing a burn out. It's common in undiagnosed adults to reach a tipping point where the stress of trying to be "normal" gets too much.
I dif the AQ test i dont know if this is same.
2 years ago i got 26. A few months ago it was 34. I dont kniw if im more self aware, interpreted the questions differently or were unintentionally guessing the answes.
I guess theres only one way to find out. I go through bouts of thinkin i am then im not. When i come up with difficulties as described above i kerp coming bavk to it.
It's a different test but gives the same indications. The AQ test was one of 3 I did during my assessment.The best way to approach the test is in a good state of mind so you can answer the questions honestly even if you don't like the answers. I also did the FQ (friendship quotient) test and the EQ (emotional intelligence) test.
Thank you. Is the EQ test the one with the facial pictures? When i did this a year or two ago i scored higher than average NT female.
I will look at the cambridge assessment thank you