Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
So I average about 1/2 meltdowns a week. How about you guys?
I can kind of recognise when I am about to fall down the rabbit hole. I try to isolate myself and then start to stim.
Also my meltdown cycle is; anxiety, frustration/anger, despair then a feeling of emptiness for a few days.
Can I ask a question please? I never used to think that I had melt downs as I don’t hit myself around the head or anything BUT what I do get, if I get overwhelmed by stressors is I’ll start crying, like proper sobbing for well over an hour, longer if people in my house are being stupid and continuing to put pressure on me. While I’m in that state I get really dark thoughts of wanting to end my life and stuff, I’m not suicidal it’s just at the time it’s a impulsive thought as it’s the only way I can think of to escape the overwhelming situation that I’m in at that time. The only way I can calm down and stop thinking such thoughts and stop sobbing uncontrollably is to just be on my own in a quiet place away from everyone and everything. Afterwards I tend to need to distract myself, maybe by reading or something, just to snap my mind out of it. Is this like a mild type of meltdown or am I just being a total drama queen?
I would definitely say that is a meltdown. My meltdown usually involve crying and shouting. Or just shutting down completely and not speaking. Meltdowns can come in many shapes and forms. They're not all screaming and throwing.
I love it. It has it's moments and can be very testing at times but the good moments make up for that. I'm not sure I'd cope well in other jobs. This one really suits me.
It must be fascinating to work in a SEN school and see such a range of behaviours. Do you enjoy your work?
I think perhaps women are more likely not to meltdown in the typical way that is thought of when people say meltdown for the similar reasons as to why women mask. But it obviously isn't a strict rule. Some girls/women are more classically autistic and their meltdown may consist of screaming, throwing etc. I work in an SEN school and it amazes me how much meltdowns vary.
Thank you for your reply. I do wonder, but may be wrong, if this is another thing on which women present a little bit differently to men?