Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a female with autism. Something that I have felt most of my life is that I feel more masculine than feminine in my inner self however outwardly I definitely look feminine such as makeup and I do my hair etc but inwardly I feel and see myself as more of a male. Has anyone experienced this?
Tony Attwood talks about girls who are perceived to be ‘different’ by their same-gender peers being more accepted by boys, and vice versa. A liking for Lego, trousers, playing with and having similar interests to boys, whilst disliking uncomfortable dresses and other girls (who can be cruel), might lead to the assumption ‘I must be a boy’ or more boyish.
The evidence for the female autistic brain having increased masculine characteristics and the male autistic brain having less masculine characteristics would fit with this view (Bejerotetal, 2012). Also, if an autistic child is not tuned in to what the social norms for children of their gender are, they are probably less likely to adopt them early in life.
i am ‘me’ I mainly were trousers and tshirts|jumpers as they are easy to wear and as an active person more practical for me than a pretty dress. I also tend to steer my self from my head and not my physical self so tend to dissociate from what I might look like, what I’m wearing and how others may perceive my external shell.
i also dress to reduce attention to myself...I don’t want to stand out ...just given the opportunity to be quietly me.
This is what intrigues me. Is that the autistic brain is different in this way so it is common for us to be more masculine/feminine? Or is it that boys and girls don't naturally like the things we associate with them but most follow social norms and grow to like them and as you say autistic people aren't affected in the same way? Or maybe a combination of both. I find it fascinating.
I think it’s a combination of both. Social conditioning is necessary, for all of us, but autistic people tend to put less importance on it as we don’t experience life in quite the same way, due to the fact that we are more connected to our true natures, as opposed to our socially constructed self.