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Problems with authority/feeling harassed

NAS50557
over 5 years ago

does anyone else get like this?  I have got on brilliantly with some of my line managers, if given some freedom to be comfortable and do things my way my work is excellent and I happily do extra, and am still friends with previous managers.

however I have gone through life having huge difficulties if I start feeling trapped.  If I’m told I can’t do something, for the sake of being told no, like I view it as them having full control and I start to shut down.  I have social conversations with others at work, but I can’t face even a simple conversation with my line manager.   My line manager stares at me and asks question after question about my weekends, my evenings, how I am, what I’m doing that evening.  If other people asked me I’d be able to talk to them.  

I’ve lost jobs, left jobs and walked out due to this.  I do feel bad because my line manager has been in tears and finds my behaviour very upsetting.  

Does anyone else have similar struggles? 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    My problem is that I have been repeatedly told that I have no respect for authority.

    Quite often people in upper management don't know what they are doing & make arbitrary decisions that I frequently disagree with. I've always seen it as my professional responsibilty to point out their mistakes since it's meant to be about teamwork rather then dictatorship, but they don't always see it that way.

    I try not to speak out unless I know I am right & can prove it though, which often makes the problem worse when you are dealing with someone that can't take constructive criticism & doesn't like their authority being questioned.

    Not sure what to suggest, just try not to view managers as anything special & if you know you are right, don't be afraid to question decisions when you are told no for arbitrary reasons. It might make things difficult at first, but once they learn you are usually in the right, you should eventually earn their trust (possibly even friendship) & be given the freedom you want.

    Having said all that though, towards the end of my career I preferred to work from home, only consulting management when necessary.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    My problem is that I have been repeatedly told that I have no respect for authority.

    Quite often people in upper management don't know what they are doing & make arbitrary decisions that I frequently disagree with. I've always seen it as my professional responsibilty to point out their mistakes since it's meant to be about teamwork rather then dictatorship, but they don't always see it that way.

    I try not to speak out unless I know I am right & can prove it though, which often makes the problem worse when you are dealing with someone that can't take constructive criticism & doesn't like their authority being questioned.

    Not sure what to suggest, just try not to view managers as anything special & if you know you are right, don't be afraid to question decisions when you are told no for arbitrary reasons. It might make things difficult at first, but once they learn you are usually in the right, you should eventually earn their trust (possibly even friendship) & be given the freedom you want.

    Having said all that though, towards the end of my career I preferred to work from home, only consulting management when necessary.

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