Social Skills - What do you think?

One thing my assessor said was that I don't really do 2 way conversation. He then added you probably know the rules but it is not something that comes naturally to you.

You seem better than me.  My reaction would be, what rules?

Well I really wish I'd asked that at the time but my mind was reeling. I'm guessing the fact that you are supposed to take turns to keep the conversation going. He was talking about the fact that say someone asks me a question. I will answer it. But I don't ask them back. 

I did exaggerate I bit.  I know some of the rules.  When someone wants to talk about something, they drop hints and wait for you to ask them about the subject.

Other rules are, maintain eye contact, or at least look at the person you're speaking to, smile , nod, end conversation with a polite ending, don't just walk off abruptly without a word.

Unfortunately in my family I was never taught these social niceties.

Don’t you think it would be significantly more pleasant, for all of you, if you told the truth? 

For example, upon meeting somebody new (or anybody really, that you haven’t told), who is going to be sharing the van with you, why wouldn’t you say something along the lines of .......

hey, my name is ......., it’s good to meet you. Before we go any further, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m autistic and one of the areas of my life that is affected by autism is communication. One of the things I really hate is small talk and general chit chat, the type of conversations that most people love and enjoy. I do however, love talking about my special interests, which include ........ and I also love hearing people talk about what they’re passionate about or interested in (if this is true, it’s true for me). I also love silence and I’m aware that some people don’t and that in fact silence makes some people uncomfortable, so if you’re one of those people, I’d be really grateful if you could let me know so we can work something out that suits us both. For example, I don’t listen to the radio or modern music but I do love listening to audio books and meditation/devotional type music. And so on and so forth.

You’d be surprised how quickly people will come to love you for who you are and if you’ve got loads of interests like me, you will soon become the go to guy when they want to know something about something unusual etc. You might even find you share interests with some of them and as a result you enjoy some great conversations. People don’t know who you are so they could never like you, grow closer to you or really get on with you at all in any real sense, because they barely know anything about you. 

I have to say though, I couldn’t do that job if I had to be travelling with other people so often. I can be in a car with somebody sometimes but I couldn’t do it on a regular basis. It’s just not something I could do and if my life depended on it, I’d simply have to die because I couldn’t bare being in such a confined space for so long and so often with other humans. 

People often like the odd one out, when they get to know us, when we give them a chance to know us. 

Where are you experiencing pain in the back, is it too, middle or bottom? 

Not much choice, ignoring them puts me in a position of they shun me, we work as a group. Manual work, one van often two at times three crammed in, long trips out, lunch breaks in a van, every day nearly different sites, different area, also team work is a need, take turns and support the other with work load, not an admin job, pure physical stuff , 

Thank you for reading my daily work and life story, it can be good but often worse, depends entirely on who I am with any given day, right now, my labourer has a knackered knee, means well but as he isn’t as able bodied I have to do more, it works both ways, sadly I am suffering with a chronic back issue, so more and more unable to fulfill my duties, 

thsnk hou. X()x

I worked in a department that was closing - I didn't want redundance at that time so I moved to a different department - which was open plan and entirely male except for the 2 admin girls.

I've never been anywhere like it - it was all politics and incompetence and backside covering.

I'm interested in watching animals and this place was exactly like a chimp enclosure. I watched the alphas fighting, the old silverbacks hoarding territory over each other, the followers, the assassins, the nasty pieces of work etc.etc.

They also used to make group calls (lines from movies) and it was incredible that these were functioning humans.

I studied the newcomers - they were initially 'different' but within 6 months, they had learned & copied all the behaviours to fit in. It was fascintating to watch.

Unfortunately, I didn't fit in. My quiet, reserved competence was out of place. I could sense them feeling uneasy around me as time went on - like they were forced to behave properly without all the macho swearing.

It was like the crew of the Nostromo realising that Ash was different from them. As time went on, because I hadn't become one of the chimps, the divide was uncomfortable.

Luckily, the manager hated me (because I was moved sideways into his department, my salary was significantly higher than his and he didn't have the skills to manage anything - and my competence made him look really dumb) so he made a sloppy move to get rid of me - that cost them.

I worked in a department that was closing - I didn't want redundance at that time so I moved to a different department - which was open plan and entirely male except for the 2 admin girls.

I've never been anywhere like it - it was all politics and incompetence and backside covering.

I'm interested in watching animals and this place was exactly like a chimp enclosure. I watched the alphas fighting, the old silverbacks hoarding territory over each other, the followers, the assassins, the nasty pieces of work etc.etc.

They also used to make group calls (lines from movies) and it was incredible that these were functioning humans.

I studied the newcomers - they were initially 'different' but within 6 months, they had learned & copied all the behaviours to fit in. It was fascintating to watch.

Unfortunately, I didn't fit in. My quiet, reserved competence was out of place. I could sense them feeling uneasy around me as time went on - like they were forced to behave properly without all the macho swearing.

It was like the crew of the Nostromo realising that Ash was different from them. As time went on, because I hadn't become one of the chimps, the divide was uncomfortable.

Luckily, the manager hated me (because I was moved sideways into his department, my salary was significantly higher than his and he didn't have the skills to manage anything - and my competence made him look really dumb) so he made a sloppy move to get rid of me - that cost them.