Published on 12, July, 2020
Gt granddaughter is 1 today. She's having a party tomorrow. I'm going but am dreading it. The whole socialising thing outside of immediate family/stepfamily is so damn hard . Initiating conversations a no no, body posture - am I looking gone out/like a freak? , sitting their in awkward silence while the conversation flows around me .
I find initiating conversation hard. Especially in a room of lots of people. I need someone to hook me in on something I'm interested in - then I feel more comfortable and can chat away. The thing I don't get is I know some basic rules like if someone asks you a question you should answer and ask them in return. But for some reason I find it really difficult to ask them back.
At a kids party, I would probably ignore the adults and play with the kids.
A room full of people is difficult noise wise too. I always get distracted by the conversations near me, and can't focus on the conversation I was engaged in.
I hear all the conversations at once and on rare occasions can’t make sense of any of it, normally I just focus extra hard on the relevant convo