Published on 12, July, 2020
I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety and emotionally unstable personality (don't like the "disorder" bit -- I don't think I am disorderly...…) But I have wondered for years whether I was somewhere on the AS.
I tried the online test and didn't pass it. But have just discovered something called Pathological Demand Avoidance which is part of the AS. It's another horrible name! But there are a few bits of it that fit with me.
I am curious whether there are other adults on this forum who have this diagnosis or think they might have it.
I don't personally but I have worked with children that have. It's a complicated condition. The main thing with it is that any kind of demand causes huge anxiety making many things inaccessible and leading to big reactions to small things. People with PDA generally can't take any kind of instruction and need everything to be done with deals, negotiations and alternative ways of asking.
What traits do you have that you share with it?
Binary, do you still visit this site?
I wanted to ask you a bit more about your view of the anxiety the children are experiencing when asked to do something. I can see now that my demand avoidance is anxiety based, and I am looking online to find out more about this. Unfortunately there does not seem to be a great deal of research where adults are involved.
If I demand something of myself, I say No. I have to look for other ways of asking myself to do things-- otherwise nothing gets done.
Thanks for answering, sorry to be slow. I had to reset my password!
I have recollections of childhood which I now wonder whether I misinterpreted. My father was very difficult and I think he was emotionally abusive in a variety of ways. I remember him constantly shouting at me to get up -- but I now wonder whether I could have been constantly refusing.
What you are saying about the children fits with this. I have avoided things for most of my life -- including things I really wanted to do. I have an absolute terror of getting things wrong, and that makes me avoid doing things, even when they are just to be done for me. Again, I thought it was my dad making me feel "wrong" -- and I think he did do that. But if I did have this condition, I may have needed everything to be right immediately and be terrified that it would not be. And he may have added to that.
I can take instructions and do what someone else wants, if I trust them and I am doing it for something I am engaged in. But I do sometimes get upset if someone is taking over and none of my suggestions are accepted.
! don't think the other traits really fit me -- at least not the way they are described by Newson. I don't pretend, or distract people. I can have mood swings but I am not impulsive. But I do have other things that fit with the AS -- my emotions are not like most people's, and I don't always respond to humour.
I hope this makes sense.
I will soon change my user name to something more friendly.