Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have issues with hair cuts?
I hate being touched especially on the head. I've always hated getting my hair cut. But I also hate it getting long and will not tie it back so have no choice but to get it cut regularly.
The person that has cut it since I was quite young - for at least 15 years has given up hair dressing. This has really thrown me and I'm now really anxious about finding someone new to cut it. I'm not keen on meeting new people either so that really doesn't help. I don't even know where to start to look for someone new that may have a bit of understanding. My old hairdresser always cut it the same every time. The thought of someone cutting it differently really freaks me out.
Probably sounds a bit daft at nearly 30 but this is a massive issue for me.
My Mum is still the only person who has ever cut my hair (she was a hairdresser by trade before I was born.) She lives a very long way away, and I'm very asocial most of the time, so I don't see her for years sometimes. In the meantime, it just grows. I can't stand the idea of a stranger touching me, particularly my head and neck, and especially when the person is out of sight behind me (I have a perceptual problem with mirrors, too, so they don't help much with this.) I try my best to keep it clean (not always successfully), and tie it back to keep it out of the way. I have never thought of it as a "hairstyle" any more than I'd think the same of a cat's fur.
I've often been accused of being a "hippy" because of my long locks, but it has nothing at all to do with any kind of political or spiritual belief, being a druggie, or even personal preference for a particular hairstyle. I'm totally fashion-blind, and don't judge anyone else by their hairstyle or clothes etc., so I don't see any reason that I should be judged for these things (though I know this is naive and that I will be.) I imagine it probably looks awful to many people now that I've lost most of the hair on the top of my head, but I can't bring myself to care at all about that, and I spend so much of my time alone at home that it's not as if anyone has to look at it very much; not even me!
Likewise with my beard. It just grows there all by itself, perfectly naturally, and I don't see any rational reason for it being a problem to anyone. I always find the phrase "growing a beard" really weird, it makes it sound like facial hair is something that doesn't happen unless you make a conscious effort to nurture it. With the sleep-deprivation from my insomnia and the perceptual problem with mirrors, the last thing on earth that I want to be doing first thing in the morning is putting an incredibly sharp blade anywhere near my face!
I wish I could be like this but I find it very irritating when my hair gets to/past shoulder length and I will NOT tie it back - I hate the way it feels. I'm also pretty fashion blind and getting it cut has nothing to do with wanting it to look a certain way. In fact I can't stand it if they try and style it anyway. I just want the length taken off it. People have always found this bizarre. Looks and fashion are "meant" to be so important to girls/women.