Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I am currently really struggling at work. I have a high pressured job and and am considered good at it by my organisation and outside, however I am going under with the amount of stress. I feel like I am juggling so much responsibility that I am doing nothing right and failing everyone.
After receiving an email yesterday from a colleague attacking me personally as well as professionally I woke up in the night with panic attacks.
My difficulty is I cannot communicate this to anyone. My social anxiety means I just shut down.
I am nauseous and fighting back tears most mornings.
I cannot take time off or not work.
I think I need autistic specific support but don't know where to get it.
Any ideas?
It sounds like a workplace assessment could help you, if your employer would be willing to pay for it - you can find more information about them at this link:
https://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/training-consultancy/employment/assessments.aspx
Alternatively, Access to Work should be able to assist you, or you could ask for an Occupational Health assessment (though they may not be too good at understanding autism).
Is your employer aware of your difficulties? Have you asked for reasonable adjustments? With regards to the upsetting email I would be inclined to forward it to your manager/HR and explain how it has made you feel - nobody should have to suffer such communications in work. I find it easier to communicate work difficulties in emails or letters, as it takes away a lot of my anxiety regarding communication.
It sounds as though things are particularly difficult for you at the moment. I totally understand the motivation to stay in work, but don’t push yourself too far. Think about taking some leave or ask if working from home for a while would be possible just to give yourself a break, if you don’t want to take time off sick or leave. You could also see your GP for some help regarding managing your anxiety and to see if there are any services they could refer you to that would support you in your work difficulties.
Best wishes to you with this and I hope you are coping better soon. I’ve been through terrible struggles in work myself and I know just how hard it can be to cope day-to-day even when you love your job and are good at it. I’ve literally just had to resign from another job because of mental health problems...
Thank you so much for all your advice. I will try and consider those suggestions one step at a time. I hope you are ok after leaving work.
I have to write the steps down and work through them. I have got some days off coming up in a few weeks so I will take some time to make a plan.
Thank you again.