Published on 12, July, 2020
hi
im new to this site but saw it and thought id cast my story. so when i was younger, i was told that i was growing up with autism but they said mine, unlike many, is just a rare form but growing up, it affected my life and each day, this still happens. friends say it's just a bad day but if they were in my shoes, they would realize how depressing living my life was. things that happen are people letting me down in the last minute everytime because they can't tell me the proper truth, people saying the wrong things and claiming they're "trying to help" and arguments with people claiming they're always right blah blah (not saying i am). the main topic that makes my life hell are the tiniest little things that can cause me severe anger. i admit, at times, i have thought about taking my own life or hurting myself. i dont know how much longer i can go on.
anyone else felt like this and if so, how did you get through it. i'm trying to get counselling but its the wait for an appointment that's bothering me. i hate being kept waiting on many things in life. to pass the time, i usually turn to sitting by myself with music full blast, screen brightness on tv's, computers etc on max and refusing to sleep till really late at night (sometimes, all night)
any ideas to help (positive only) would be grately appreciated
Hi, I know what it is like to feel that way. I still feel that way sometimes, but when I came to the point that I wanted to end my life I turned to my parents because even though I wanted to end my life I also didn't want to at the same time. When I told my parents they took me to the doctors who have put me on anti-depresses which are helping. However, with friends etc I am still the same boat. I have had friends who pretend to be friends and just used me, they didn't invite me to parties, let me down every time, not wanting to hang out with me etc and when I didn't understand something they said I just reacted how they react looking like I did understand them.
I am still in the same situation, I don't work (currently on the sick) I have no friends, I don't go out and I just stay in all day unless I need to go out and I am currently battling with PIP. What I would suggest is try and find a hobbie or something that keep your mind focused. For me, I am a creative person. I do colouring, diamond painting, drawing and then I play the sims 4, manage my sims 4 blog on tumblr or play on my PlayStation and before I go to bed I read my books. Talk to your parents, or if you can't try E-befriending? I have just signed up for it and what happens if that you get paired up with someone who is autistic and you just email each other once a week to get to know each other and just chat.
It is hard to get over those feelings, but I am so fortunate that my parents support me. As long as I have my parents I would feel good in myself. They can tell if I am having a bad day, which then my mum try's to come up with something to perk up my day.
Advice:- Find a hobbie (colouring, PlayStation, writing, drawing etc)- Talk to someone (your parents, siblings, people in this community, doctors)- Try and enjoy life even for the the little things (I know it can be difficult because I find this really difficult everyday but I try)
Hope this helps, and feel free to message me :) x