Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
I'm really sorry if this is one of the boring questions that gets asked a thousand times. I got my diangostic report and I scored a 7 on the EQ test. I know the difference between cognitive, affective and compassionate empathy.
I'm sure that my affective and compassionate empathy is Ok. I am constantly feeling guilty. I care about humanity, animals and I have 6 children who are my whole world. I'm just a bit shocked by this score nevertheless.
I am VERY blunt. I am very literal and I can't always work out what other people are thinking. Working out what other people are thinking drives me crazy. I try to avoid doing it and I do what I do. I also try to stay away from people as much as I possibly can. I like a few people, thankfully one of them is my husband!! I experience all emotions except jealousy I don't really ever feel that.
I know the differences between the different kinds of empathy but it's not me I'm worried about. Other people don't know do they? Other people are still stuck in the dark ages and think Autistic people are devoid of any feeling.
I've had real mixed feelings about this diagnosis. At first it was like relief. Then it was like being liberated but slowly as I realise all the additional 'assumptions' this label is going to bring I'm not sure it's a great thing anymore. Or at least it is and it isn't.
I was hoping this diagnosis would bring me some understanding. I'm starting to wonder about that. Is it just going to bring me even more MISUNDERSTANDING if I share a report with a professional and they see my EQ score is a lowly SEVEN :O
I don't know, when you stick a label on yourself, suddenly everyone is an expert!! It's so tedious !
I'm not sure I can take much more misunderstanding to be honest with you!
Xanadu said:I know the differences between the different kinds of empathy but it's not me I'm worried about. Other people don't know do they? Other people are still stuck in the dark ages and think Autistic people are devoid of any feeling.
That’s sadly too true, which is why I carry this around with me to help explain:
I also often drop in that people actually want to be more sceptical about those who come off as charming and thoughtful, because psychopaths often present this way i.e. people that appear as though they care may not really care and those who appear they don’t care may actually care but not be very good at expressing it (such as us autistics). That’s usually enough to confound people and make them question their perceptions of others, which is a start...
While that poster may be true for you and many others here, it is a massive generalisation. I have very little compassionate and affective empathy. My cognitive empathy is based on logic and seems to be better than many with ASD, but it's more of an analytical tool rather than anything emotional because I don't have the the affective and compassionate empathy to back it up.
My EQ score was 1 (one).
Of course it is a generalisation (I don’t think the ‘massive’ was necessary though) - realistically any statement about a whole population is going to be a generalisation because it will rarely be true for all within that population. However, in my experience, the poster describes something that is true for many people with autism, and I personally find it helpful to explain to others how my experience of empathy is. I used it hear as it appeared to fit with what the OP was discussing.
However, as this is not the case for you then you could use something else that is more appropriate for yourself to explain your experience of empathy to others.