Is It Just Me ?

So here's a question of sorts that has kind of followed me around for many years and i wondered if other NDs felt a similar way or if it's just me...
Ever since I can remember my emotions have been very confusing / vague I have 3 important people in my life my son, my mum and my ex wife (who I probably drove mad during our marriage with my behaviour though we get on great now and she is actually my carer so that's ok.) These three are the ones who I care about and who care about me but ive never really known what else I should feel and by that I mean love !!! I have never really known what that is I know if anything happened to one of these three I would be upset but that
would most likely be in a self centred way as in how their loss would affect me. I often visualize scenarios in which harm befalls one of These three and to be honest my feelings are quite flat I know I should feel more but I don't know what that should be honestly there are times I get more upset when im interrupted or something happens that throws out my process or schedule or if I do something stupid like dropping something picking it up and dropping it again I feel like someone unseen is making this happen and I can get very agitated or angry...
So i guess my question is do other NDs feel like this or am I alone in my behaviour ?