Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anybody else feel like they’ve got all the pieces of the jigsaw but they don’t know how to put them together?
For me, it actually makes perfect sense that I wouldn’t know how to put the pieces together, unless I was going to copy the nt lifestyle that is, which I’m not. So I guess it’s perfectly natural to not know how to put the pieces together because I don’t really have a picture or a model to go on because I’ve never lived my life as me before and of course, there’s not another me in the world so there is no model that I can go off.
I’m just very happy that I know I’ve got all the pieces of the puzzle and I’ve now got somebody who is going to help me to put them together in a way that’s perfect for me.
I spoke to my next door neighbour yesterday, after a brief chat we had a few days previous to this. He said our brief chat felt like the first time in a long time that he had spoken to somebody and they made him feel like himself. He lives with his mother, he’s almost 40 and he takes crack (cocaine) and has an endless stream of drug addicts shouting outside his house and sometimes they put the house windows through and he and his mum are always screaming and shouting at each other so there’s always lots of drama and noise, as you’d expect from the life of a drug addict. But it’s clear he’s got undiagnosed autism or undiagnosed something else and he’s just not coping with this world and it’s about to (potentially) get worse as he and his mum are selling the house, splitting the cash, she’s going to live in a little council bungalow for the elderly and him, well he’s gonna be more or less left to get on with things with a drug habit, a load of money, nowwhere to live and being completely vulnerable in this life. It breaks my heart because he’s such a good person, like most people are and this is where my mind takes me, I want to make this world a better place for people like him. Somehow or another I came through that world (drug world) and I’ve somehow made to it to where I am today. However, I do know that everything in the world is perfect, just as it is, therefore his life is perfect, just as it is, and I have to re-remind myself of that fact. I need to keep my focus on buidling my life, right now, because the biggest and best help we can ever be to anybody is to live the most perfect lives for us and although I’m feeling a little weird this morning (for some unknown reason), I know that this is a time that I need to focus solely on my life. I’m always thinking about and helping others because really, that’s what my life is all about, service to others, but I know that before I can do any more of that, I need to get my life in order, get my life set up and working in a way that is perfect for me and by then, I’ll probably be helping more people, simply by example (be the change you wish to see in the world) and through my work (which I get paid for), which will give me the perfect balance in which to enjoy my life.
Never has the word ‘balance’ been related to me before but even though I’m still an extremist (currently in training to be a breatharian), the word balance keeps popping up in relation to me, which shows me, that, Miracles, really do happen :-D
I am a puzzle and I am made of pieces that don't really fit to anyone else's "picture"....
So, like you, I try to make my own picture... but people are always so fixated that it must conform to the picture on their box!
I have dear friends who I do feel I can "be myself" with and this community helps a lot in that respect in working out the shape of each piece and what fits with what.... also, that it's okay not to always fit as that is what makes us unique.
having the balls to run with that in an NT combat zone (aka. Offline) is something I still have to master
Yeah, this community was a life saver for me, literally, if you remember when I first came here, but it’s far more than that. In the beginning, I still, to some degree, somehow saw this community as somehow not quite real because it’s online and so maybe not as relevant as other types of (offline) relationships, but I don’t see it like that at all anymore. I mean, come on, I can sit safely, in my own little sanctuary, in solitude, and communicate via my preferred method of communication with people who are not only just like me but who are also super knowledgeable, Uber interesting and so supportive, not to mention funny, so how could this not be perfect, real and relevant!
I bought the velveteen rabbit audio, the other day by the way, thank you. It took me about a week or so to actually listen to it (one of my weird aspie things) but when I did, I loved it and I’m going to buy the book so me and my grandchildren can listen to it together while looking at the book. So thank you so much for that recommendation, I love it and I especially love that it wasn’t too long as my concentration span is very long at the moment. So yeah, big thumbs up for that one.
So, ..., are you a real rabbit? With wellies?
Exactly. Comparing ourselves to others is insane. It’s truly insane. And there’s proof of that. You don’t have to look far to witness the outstanding achievements of people who have no limbs etc. and then look at somebody who appears to have everything and blows it all. Who are we going to compare ourselves against? I would rather compare myself with some of these truly outstanding people and do my best, every day, to achieve the same level of life within me. But our society is based on this as its foundation. In India, they think it’s a joke if you mention being left handed. It’s just not something that exists in their society because which hand you use for certain things, is life, they don’t question it. In our society, people cannot imagine that we’re all equal, that we get no benefit from comparing ourselves to each other, in the negative way we do. It’s like they can’t even begin to imagine that we really are all equal and we are so into each other’s business, it’s insane. But we do it, over and over again, expecting different result, which is the very definition of insanity. We’re taught and conditioned to be insane, lol! My neighbour, the crack head (said with no disrespect) said to me when I asked him what drugs he was taking ~ I’m not really taking drugs, I’m only taking crack!!!! Because he compares himself to smack heads, the lowest of the low - that’s not my opinion, I used to be a smack head. But that’s how it rolls, he looks at smack heads and says I’m ok because I’m not as bad as that, until he’s lucky enough to progress to that level or he dies or gets killed. We had a stabbing last week.
He can carry on comparing himself, favourably, in his mind, from here to eternity, but it won’t make him happy, because happiness is when we stop comparing ourselves to others. My heart breaks for him, but I’m saved by the bell of knowing, that life, is always exactly as it should be, it’s always perfect to such precision, that you can count on it. If only he knew. I did my best.
Yes, exactly. My whole life, every living moment, is devoted to service to others, and it’s not only a truly heartwarming life, it’s also a great privilege, the greatest of all. But our greatest priority is to ourselves, and unless we are 100% happy in ourselves, we cannot and must not attempt to give anything, to anybody, ever, unless someone drops down ill in front of you and you can’t do what my first reaction is in that situation, to make someone else deal with it, if you can’t do that, obviously in that situation you would provide help. But otherwise, if we aren’t 100% happy in ourselves, then every person in our lives, without exception, is simply an opportunity for us to deflect outwards anything that is not happy within us. So, they are, in effect, our drugs, or more accurately, our efforts to avoid finding out who we are and facing our problems or whatever we think it is that makes us not 100% happy. The ego has to die to gain freedom to realise there is no freedom, it’s just an illusion. Our only job in this life is to help others. That’s not as dull or as arduous as it sounds, because most people don’t want help and it’s unfair to try to help somebody who doesn’t want it. It’s like waking them up, and nobody likes to be woken up. And there’s no scales here of how ‘good’ a life is or how ‘bad’ it is. Life is life, that never changes. And we are where we are and when you get there, to 100% happiness, you realise, it was all always perfect, exactly as it was, it couldn’t be anything else.
He stops comparing himself to others worrying what he has not and not who he is...he lives in the moment