Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anybody else feel like they’ve got all the pieces of the jigsaw but they don’t know how to put them together?
For me, it actually makes perfect sense that I wouldn’t know how to put the pieces together, unless I was going to copy the nt lifestyle that is, which I’m not. So I guess it’s perfectly natural to not know how to put the pieces together because I don’t really have a picture or a model to go on because I’ve never lived my life as me before and of course, there’s not another me in the world so there is no model that I can go off.
I’m just very happy that I know I’ve got all the pieces of the puzzle and I’ve now got somebody who is going to help me to put them together in a way that’s perfect for me.
I spoke to my next door neighbour yesterday, after a brief chat we had a few days previous to this. He said our brief chat felt like the first time in a long time that he had spoken to somebody and they made him feel like himself. He lives with his mother, he’s almost 40 and he takes crack (cocaine) and has an endless stream of drug addicts shouting outside his house and sometimes they put the house windows through and he and his mum are always screaming and shouting at each other so there’s always lots of drama and noise, as you’d expect from the life of a drug addict. But it’s clear he’s got undiagnosed autism or undiagnosed something else and he’s just not coping with this world and it’s about to (potentially) get worse as he and his mum are selling the house, splitting the cash, she’s going to live in a little council bungalow for the elderly and him, well he’s gonna be more or less left to get on with things with a drug habit, a load of money, nowwhere to live and being completely vulnerable in this life. It breaks my heart because he’s such a good person, like most people are and this is where my mind takes me, I want to make this world a better place for people like him. Somehow or another I came through that world (drug world) and I’ve somehow made to it to where I am today. However, I do know that everything in the world is perfect, just as it is, therefore his life is perfect, just as it is, and I have to re-remind myself of that fact. I need to keep my focus on buidling my life, right now, because the biggest and best help we can ever be to anybody is to live the most perfect lives for us and although I’m feeling a little weird this morning (for some unknown reason), I know that this is a time that I need to focus solely on my life. I’m always thinking about and helping others because really, that’s what my life is all about, service to others, but I know that before I can do any more of that, I need to get my life in order, get my life set up and working in a way that is perfect for me and by then, I’ll probably be helping more people, simply by example (be the change you wish to see in the world) and through my work (which I get paid for), which will give me the perfect balance in which to enjoy my life.
Never has the word ‘balance’ been related to me before but even though I’m still an extremist (currently in training to be a breatharian), the word balance keeps popping up in relation to me, which shows me, that, Miracles, really do happen :-D
Sort of. But it's probably been the same most of my life before diagnosis. It feels like I have most mental faculties that a typically developing person would (and a fair amount of long-term self-awareness) but they don't all work together. I suppose I can related that to what psychologists mean by 'weak central coherence' or strong bias to local processing, and what Temple Grandin calls a lack of 'inter-office communication'. How you put them together maybe is an individual thing, which is why people don't like to interfere, but maybe some of the pieces in my case are too large or too small and they just don't fit together. I still have the belief that someone will be able to help me make sense of things, but it's taking a while...
Good to hear you could provide a listening ear to your neighbour, and that sounds mutually rewarding. Hope he can get some professional support too.
extremist (currently in training to be a breatharian)
That is extreme. I'm contemplating veganism and just researching B12 supplements, but as a rationalist I have to suggest breatharians need a supplement of, well, food.
I love that Cassandro ~ ‘inter-office communication’ ~ I’ve never heard of that before but it describes it perfectly. I’ll be going around telling everyone now, that I lack inter-office communication! Lol! No, sorry, I can’t possibly do that, I lack inter-office communication!
What I meant by having all the pieces, in relation to me right now, is I’ve now got a ‘support network’ (I love saying that because I never knew what it meant before now!) but I don’t know how to fit them altogether to make a life. But I’ve just left my support worker and we’ve got a little plan for me for the coming week. It’s not too much and there’s no pressure, so if I don’t follow it, it’s ok, we can adjust or whatever as we go so I don’t feel under pressure and even if I do it, I’ve still got tons of time to be in my own little world and I don’t feel completely out of touch with the rest of the world because I feel like I’ve been given this time as my time, so it’s like it’s ok.
Yeah, I hope that my neighbour gets some support. He admitted to me that he lives in absolute fear and terror from these drug dealers etc who terrorise him and I don’t think anyone would listen to him even if he did tell people. My son won’t listen to me talking about him, he just says he’s a druggie and brings it all on himself. Yet I know that he’s far more than that. He’s a really beautiful kind loving innocent intelligent person who has no idea how to be in this world but with the right support, he would be a wonderful person and he’d make a fabulous employee in a job that he could thrive in. I dream of a world where nobody has to resort to taking drugs etc just to be able to be ok in the world.
Haha ~ that made me smile, re, they need a supplement, of, well, food! Lol! But honestly, when you go for more than 24 hours without food and water, as a conscious choice, you suddenly realise what good health really is. Fasting takes your health to a whole new level. My last fast was a mostly hard dry fast. So no food or water for 3 days and the first 2 were a hard dry fast which means you don’t even wash your face. You don’t have contact with any water at all. Then the third day my friend came to see me so I brushed my teeth and had a little wash. But honestly, not only do we not need food and water but when we go without, our health goes to a whole new level and all your organs start working in the way they were designed to work. When you dry fast, you can see in your urine how well your kidneys are working. And when I fast I have so much energy that I have to go on random bike rides just to burn off some energy. My mind is crystal clear and as sharp as a button (even though buttons aren’t generally sharp!). I’m currently having to eat potatoes every day with my fruits and salads as they help to lessen my energy and ground me but as my life gets busier and I’m doing more daily exercise, I’ll be able to transition to breatharianism full time.
I’m a Metaphysician and raw food coach. I don’t promote breatharianism or a fully raw food vegan diet but I do help people to successfully transition to a diet that supports their health goals. It can be a complex process, which is where my Metaphysics comes in and I would never suggest an ‘ideal’ diet for anybody, each person has to come to that understanding themselves, which they do, but it can take some time, which is perfectly ok. So if you ever need any tips or you just want to talk about it, just let me know and I’d be happy to help if I can.
And yes, one day somebody absolutely will, 100% guaranteed, be able to help you to put the pieces together. It took 51 years of actively searching, with an open mind, for me to finally get the right support. And after some moments of gentle sadness and utter despair, the previous 51 years are now fading into the past because afterall, I’ve got the only thing I’ve ever really wanted all my life, an understanding of who I am and somebody, just one person, who could help me. But for me, that help only came after I got to a place where I absolutely could not deny it any longer, I really did need help. I think before that, I was still holding on to an element of control, without realising it and without realising it, (for me) I had to lose that before I was I truly open to the support. It took a little over 6 months after that before I got the support but for that 6 months I had an excellent support worker but she could only take me so far because of her lack of understanding of autism, but it’s almost like she prepared me for the support I’m getting now so I can make the most of it. I’ve already learned so much and progressed so much in only four weeks. I’m still gobsmacked by it all to be honest, to finally get the help I always needed, after all these years. And she’s a young girl but she understands autism and she totally supports my individual needs. I think she’s my inter-office management system!
that help only came after I got to a place where I absolutely could not deny it any longer, I really did need help. I think before that, I was still holding on to an element of control, without realising it and without realising it, (for me) I had to lose that before I was I truly open to the support.
soooooooo relating to this..., BluRay... beautifully put x
Yeah, looking back now, it makes sense that I fought so hard to hold on to at least some level of control, when I’ve lived in a world that I never fully understood and felt I had little control over. To let people see any weakness was like death, it’s like it would open me up to abuse that I wouldn’t be able to defend myself against so I think, without realising it (word of the day, apparently!!) I couldn’t let go fully. But after losing every ounce of a routine, it was utterly clear, that I absolutely needed help and that I wasn’t ever going to get out of this burn out, without it and that thought must have scared me more than loosing complete control or at least surrendering completely, therefore making me open and receptive to help.
In my experience, it was certainly the case, that when the student was ready, the teacher appeared. And the time it took me to get to that point, doesn’t matter, because I can see now, that’s it’s not something that can be rushed. It happens in its own time. And it doesn’t matter how long it takes because when it happens, the past fades into its rightful place, in the past and we are left with only now and a future we really do have control over so we don’t have to take back that constant intense level of self control that drains us.