Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya, I have written a few times on here now. After my last post about a toxic friendship, I decided to stand up to the girls and say that I was feeling left out. They told me it was "my fault" and they told people not to talk to me. Mature, yes but I have not been able to get out of bed all week because of how upset I have been. I was always very paranoid around these girls, one knew I had aspergers and used that information to make me upset.
I recently found a new group of girls. They are the sweetest girls and are a lot more like me, studious, love reading. I feel me when I am with them. I know the next part is going to sound bad but this community has helped me so much, even just as a space to get it all out. These lovely girls aren't "popular" and don't go to house parties or drink at the weekends, which is the same as me. I have a few friends in the "popular" group- not close friends- and I am worried that they won't want anything to do with me if I am not as "popular as before" - I am a complete geek and very quiet-. With my Asperger's, I constantly worry what people think of me and if they like me and if I am being socially acceptable( very tiring if you are the same). I know this sounds awful, and you may think I am a horrible person for saying this, I feel bad for thinking this. I love these girls though and I know I shouldn't care what people think of me. But I do. Does anyone have any tips on learning how to not give a thought to what people think? I am so sorry if you think I am a horrible person, I am bad at phrasing things and I am ashamed I have this thought process. These are the only real friends I have had in years.
Thank you so much, I hope you are all doing okay x
Jess
Greetings. Hopefully someone else will post something(s) better than this. But...
You sound like a young 'un. Please write something upon your Profile page apart from "xxx". I am an old fogey, at past 45... (!)
You sound as if you know what you are all about, and that is a good thing. (You also sound like you are at the edges of "being bullied"!) My advice would be to leave what is "popular" (or do it in your own way) - yet most of all... hang out with whomever is making you feel comfortable and happy. "Worrying" about this, that, or the other is grist-to-the-mill for those of us with Autism... and so simply do as you want, yet always HEED whatever is worrying you (i.e. - do not ignore it). If you have questions or doubts, ask or find out somewhere. But, I say again, do not pander to hostile/damaging "peer pressure" ("being popular")...
In the long run - about 20 years?!? - this is the best strategy. Do whatever is making you alright, and become stronger within yourself, and for yourself you should work out what is good and what is not good. I cannot say much more than that, we all had to go through it. Good Luck to You.