Hiya, I have written a few times on here now. After my last post about a toxic friendship, I decided to stand up to the girls and say that I was feeling left out. They told me it was "my fault" and they told people not to talk to me. Mature, yes but I have not been able to get out of bed all week because of how upset I have been. I was always very paranoid around these girls, one knew I had aspergers and used that information to make me upset.
I recently found a new group of girls. They are the sweetest girls and are a lot more like me, studious, love reading. I feel me when I am with them. I know the next part is going to sound bad but this community has helped me so much, even just as a space to get it all out. These lovely girls aren't "popular" and don't go to house parties or drink at the weekends, which is the same as me. I have a few friends in the "popular" group- not close friends- and I am worried that they won't want anything to do with me if I am not as "popular as before" - I am a complete geek and very quiet-. With my Asperger's, I constantly worry what people think of me and if they like me and if I am being socially acceptable( very tiring if you are the same). I know this sounds awful, and you may think I am a horrible person for saying this, I feel bad for thinking this. I love these girls though and I know I shouldn't care what people think of me. But I do. Does anyone have any tips on learning how to not give a thought to what people think? I am so sorry if you think I am a horrible person, I am bad at phrasing things and I am ashamed I have this thought process. These are the only real friends I have had in years.
Thank you so much, I hope you are all doing okay x
Jess