Published on 12, July, 2020
Some people are very unfortunate in life, and I would consider people with autism spectrum disorders to be amongst the unfortunate - especially because nobody wants this type of condition. Even though my life could have turned out far worse I still consider myself very unlucky; my life is extremely sad compared to the lives of non-disabled neurotypicals. I feel as though I was only brought into the world to suffer in the way nobody should be made to suffer. Being placed in unsettling environments where I don't belong and put in such overwhelming and distressing situations that trigger my sensory issues is very cruel; my family members are fully aware of my daily struggles but don't show any empathy towards me at all. Every single time I would feel the need to run off to the special needs counsellors my parents would accuse me of misbehaving just because I'm showing signs of depression. Then when I try to get special needs professional help that is when they seem to accuse me of getting fixated and dwelling on my Asperger's condition. Yet they wonder why I end up venting my frustration on library books and other property. There are times when I don't see any point in being alive if all life is going to consist of is endless torture, because having autism is torture for autistic sufferers and their families. So many depressed people on the autism spectrum have died by suicide - what if that happens to me eventually? What if I end up killing myself in just a few years' time?
I’m sorry to hear that you feel so stiffled with your ASC. Whether NT or not, we all need our support network and places where we can calm ourselves and be understood.
i hope from being here on the forum gives you a chance to reach out and feel understood by community members here.
there are many themes to your thread that I identify with .. I.e periods of depression, lack of family understanding and the pressures of some situations that can escalate into the overwhelming.
ASC has its challenges, indeed, but I would not change it as it offers such amazing gifts as well.. I feel it enables me to see the world differently, has made me empathic to those around me and has helped my career due to its attributes. On the flip side, yes, relationships are tricky and I do not “fit”... but I am learning that “to fit” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either
best wishes
Ellie
Ellie I know your just trying to be nice but autism is not a gift whatsoever so many people kill themselves or are constantly suicidal because of it. It also is a spectrum disorder so please keep in mind it can be worse and more crippling for some than it is for others I have a really bad case of it and unfortunately it has destroyed every single friendship and relationship I have ever had and put me in TONS AND TONS OF of physical torment and sensory torment as well I think it is dangerous to have it advertised as a gift when it tortures people so severly and causes so many to end there lives fitting in actually is what its cracked up to be the ones who fit in are the ones who get to have boyfriends girlfriends friends go out and be free and have fun actually LIVE with autism your forced to just ROT it's sickening and torture to the EXTREME! fitting in and being able to socialize is very important if you desire to have friends and relationships and having autism so severly to where you are constantly forced to be alone your whole life if you are someone that wants friends and relationships is toxic! it shouldn't be so difficult to socialize either life just should have never been this torturous and screwed up for people there needs to be a treatment for this EXTREMELY BAD!