The lifelong suffering and torture that comes with having an Autism spectrum disorder such as Asperger's

I understand when you say life long suffering. Only now aged 59 and awaiting an assessment am i more accepting of myself. More understanding of myself. Take pleasure in the little things in life that i enjoy doing. I have stopped pushing myself to do more like i used to. I thought i should. Now i know i cant do everything. 

I hope you find something that you enjoy doing enough to give you some pleasure and contentment. 

We all arent gifted. Embrace what you are good at and enjoy it. Choose the people you want to be around. You will know who they are x 

I have a friend whose daughter is autistic and she calls it her 'gift'. I admire her positivity, much like her mother's, and sometimes I can find a space that makes me feel that way too. Those are the days I cling to when things are not going so well; those days that you talk about where you just want to run away from it all. As far as empathy goes it's hard for anyone not suffering from ASD to relate to our mindset, just as it's hard for us to understand why they can't see things from our perspective. As with many disorders and also disabilities, some people just assume sufferers are swinging the lead for attention. It would be great if everyone could walk a mile in the shoes of those who are suffering, just to experience the torture. I started writing a few years ago before I realised I had ASD and the sense of achievement it gives me to finish a novel really helps me to convince myself that I can make a positive contribution to the world and shut out the crowds, which in turn helps keep the negativity at bay. Maybe choose something you really enjoy doing and try to let it give greater value to your life.

I don't know if you will ever see this. I hope so. Maybe at least others will. I have exactly the same issue. It is worth sticking out. I have had a hard life...a very hard life. To give reference, the homeless people I know, who turned their life around to get clean and I met in recovery. I wasn't in recovery. Don't give me credit where it isn't due. They are afraid of my stories and ask me not to share recollections of my past. It got bad. However, I learned so much, and my life today is beautiful. I haven't decided whether to make nice with my family. I am finally with someone who truly gets me. I suspect he is also on the spectrum, though we both grew up in a back water part of Texas. At 39, I am just discovering that there are treatments. After making about every mistake that can be made, I found my path. I have been living for someone else. Be a rose among thorns, not the other way around. You are someone special, and when you embrace that and live your best life, it will all make sense. I promise you can be happy. It just takes a little work and introspection. You don't need to fit in. You are better than the rest, and you will know happiness the ignorant can never know.

hi I am SOOOOO sorry you have to deal with this sickening perverted torture as well! :( NO ONE deserves this sort of torture! You can always talk to me if you want just like you my family and few friends are fully aware of the torture that this crap causes me and they don't care they tell me to talk about happier things so you know what screw them! If I can't get treatment for this lifelong nightmare I will kill myself and they can suck it! If there not going to even TAKE TWO SECONDS OUT OF THERE DAY TO CARE then I don't care if I leave them they act like this is NO BIG DEAL and it ihas actually ruined every second of my life and tortured me evey waking second I am awake There is a diet that I have heard has helped some people with autism you are suppossed to take gluten and dairy and most sugar out of your diet and I have heard taking turmeric with black pepper to help it absorb better can help autism symptoms so I am going to try that and see if that works at all if it doesn't and if no treatments come out in the next few years I'm out of here!!! You are suppossed to eat really nutricious foods too like lots of broccoli and leafy greens and fish is good too omega 3s and hopefullyl it will help us! good luck I hope the diet works for you! Also I wish our dearly beloved "family and friends" could feel how much pain this torture causes us Bet they wouldn't even last a minute! too bad we can't show them they NEED to show us some compassion already sickos! I am SOOOOO sorry you have to deal with this nightmare as well! :( 

Hey I am SOOOOO sorry you are being tortured by this demon from hell called autism as well. You are sadly ABSOLUTELY correct it IS straight torture! Our lives are HORRIFYING! And SOOOOOOO much worse than MOST neuroypicals! GOD I am SO sick of neurotypicals having ONE semi bad thing happen to them and acting like there life is so much harder than mine when bassiacally EVERYTHING that ever happens to me is bad! :( now PLEASE keep in mind no one knows anything for sure but I wanted to let you know though that I have some family members who work in the autism field and they think it is possible that there may be treatments for this awful crap possibly even within the next few years! So if you can try to hold on! I hope the best for you! I hope for treatment for this demon soon! We deserve to have a bright future! If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to you can talk and vent to me! I know how horrible and torturous this perverted disorder is! People also DO need to realize this is a spectrum disorder and no two cases are the same and if you feel you are just different you have it MUCH more mild than me and others when you get a severe case it IS torture! sadly :( i'm sorry your sensory problems hurt you so much mine do too it is hell and I hate being put into situations where I don't belong I also feel as though I was brought into the world to suffer in the way nobody should it's just sick and WRONG! This should have never happened to us! I hope so much for treatments to deliver us from this perversion! This awful AWFUL torture! Most of my family members and friends do not show me any empathy at all either even when I desperately try to confide in them that I am being tortured they just ignore me or mock me it sucks you get the same crap treatment I am so sorry! :( It SUCKS! And also it's not us fixating and "dwelling" on our aspergers the crap consumes us and screws with us every second of our lives weather we like it or not we have no say in it sadly! I HATE AUTISM!!! Hope for treatments asap! 

Ellie I know your just trying to be nice but autism is not a gift whatsoever so many people kill themselves or are constantly suicidal because of it. It also is a spectrum disorder so please keep in mind it can be worse and more crippling for some than it is for others I have a really bad case of it and unfortunately it has destroyed every single friendship and relationship I have ever had and put me in TONS AND TONS OF of physical torment and sensory torment as well I think it is dangerous to have it advertised as a gift when it tortures people so severly and causes so many to end there lives fitting in actually is what its cracked up to be the ones who fit in are the ones who get to have boyfriends girlfriends friends go out and be free and have fun actually LIVE with autism your forced to just ROT it's sickening and torture to the EXTREME!  fitting in and being able to socialize is very important if you desire to have friends and relationships and having autism so severly to where you are constantly forced to be alone your whole life if you are someone that wants friends and relationships is toxic! it shouldn't be so difficult to socialize either life just should have never been this torturous and screwed up for people there needs to be a treatment for this EXTREMELY BAD! 

i'm sure the relationship with parents don't help however autism is seriously just absolute torture from hell to have to live with issues for SURE come from the bloody autism it is nothing but straight torture unfortunately EVERTHING that has ever happened to me has been bad basically because of this stupid evil cursed condition! It IS straight torture! 

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It comes across as though a lot of your issues are caused by your dysfunctional relationship with your parents. I don't have any books or links to offer you unfortunately but it sounds like working on coping strategies for living with an unsupportive family would be beneficial? I hope that once your able to move out your mood lifts.

The fact that my parents on several unpleasant occasions would often send me to a mental home is one of the many causes of my already severe depression having worsened even more - yet they wonder why I'm having such horrific thoughts of suicide these days! This is why I find the world to be a cruelly nasty place for vulnerable people like myself, regardless of whether autistic or not.

Once I finally leave home and move into the right special needs accommodation I can't wait for the people at the NAS and those autism treatment centres to accept me and start giving me all the professional help I need for my condition and for my suicidal depression. 

I’m sorry to hear that you feel so stiffled with your ASC. Whether NT or not, we all need our support network and places where we can calm ourselves and be understood.

i hope from being here on the forum gives you a chance to reach out and feel understood by community members here.

there are many themes to your thread that I identify with .. I.e periods of depression, lack of family understanding and the pressures of some situations that can escalate into the overwhelming.

ASC has its challenges, indeed, but I would not change it as it offers such amazing gifts as well.. I feel it enables me to see the world differently, has made me empathic to those around me and has helped my career due to its attributes. On the flip side, yes, relationships are tricky and I do not “fit”... but I am learning that “to fit” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either

best wishes

Ellie