Giving up

I really struggle with telling new people about my problems too. I think like @lostmyway said, finding and getting the right support can be tricky but is worth it when you do. Hopefully groups like NAS and Mind can help you along the way :-)

I'm sure that once you do start receiving some real help you will get the best possible people who are brilliant at their job. The psychologist is just a first step screening stage to evaluate you. But it's like most other things in the NHS - the time between a diagnosis and treatment can b a wait, but at least you have us here to support you.

I just don't know where to start. 

I was diagnosed by a private company who also does some things for the NHS. I had some life skills sessions but to continue the sessions were £200 per session which I just cannot afford. 

Nearly three weeks on I am still waiting on a response to my email. I wish I felt comfortable enough to ring the psychologist who diagnosed me. She was definitely good at her job there's no dispute there she picked up on many things that most people don't but I just didn't feel that comfortable talking to her

Thank you.

I will see if there is a local mind drop in that I am able to attend. 

Emailing in advance is a good suggestion as I struggle talking about my problems particularly with new people.

Thank you!

NAS36609 

Hi, 

Thanks for your response :) 

I've just got back from a weekend staying with a friend so that has helped. 

I think really I never actually grieved when she died which is probably why I find it difficult. I haven't spoke about my friend that much. I tried speaking to my friend about it earlier but I got the impression she wasn't really listening. Sometimes I think it's best just not to say anything. I tend to be the person people go to for advice but very few people actually give me advice. I've had counselling so many times to try and deal with so many issues I just find it slightly frustrating as if I'm stuck in a revolving door. That's probably an awful thing to say but that in itself makes me feel bad about myself. 

No, I did see my GP last week about other issues to do with food/weight management but it didn't occur to mention the mental health. He's lovely but he does offer antidepressants as if they're smarties. I was always told to contact the people who diagnosed me it never actually occurred to me to ask the GP for help as daft as it sounds. I'm still awaiting a response from the psychologist which is rather frustrating. How long does it really take to respond to an email? 

Unfortunately I don't come from a supportive or helpful family. They are very money orientated and morally bankrupt. I don't speak to many of them and I certainly can't trust or rely on any of them. I do have friends but they have their own problems so I don't want to burden them too much. One has had a cancer scare so my problems seem trivial in comparison to that. 

Thanks again for replying. 

It can be very difficult to get into the system that provides support for autism but once you do it's worth the wait so please keep trying and, hopefully, it won't be too long before you get some real support. In the meantime, you can always 'unload' on the rest of us who are going through or have gone through the same thing.

I announced I was 'giving up' about ten years ago, before autism diagnosis, in an email to my friends and anyone who would expect anything from me. Not meaning killing myself, just admitting I'd failed after trying every avenue and attitude I could think of, not got anywhere I wanted, mental health services had failed (antidepressants were worse than useless), and I couldn't cope even with the quite minimal demands on me, like being in places I'd promised to be. Maybe it was a step towards putting myself first, or accepting things, because my mental health is probably better now than then.

Some services only do diagnosis, and any autism-specific support is very thin to non-existent. 'Keep talking' sounds like good advice, to anyone who you can. A specialist dietician may be able to help with any eating disorder, in terms of feelings as well as practicalities. Do you know any of your dead friend's other friends? Could you maybe get together to do something to celebrate her life? Keep trying new stuff, as you never know what might help.

Dear midnightescape,

I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar difficulties when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.  

If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.

If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service:  http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

MIND have information pages on coping with suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.

If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.

If you need help with an autism related issue, our helpline can be emailed via webform https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104.

I hope this helps you get the support that you need.

Regards,

Kerri-Mod

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend.

Just to add to all the good advice other people have posted, I found my local Mind drop-in to be very helpful; I could just go and talk to someone 1-1 if I was feeling low. Maybe see if there is a branch near you; you could always email them in advance and explain some of the difficulties you're going through if that would make it less nerve-wracking going for the first time.

Take care 

midnightescape said:

Has anyone just felt like they're sick of trying so hard all the time? 

Yes, absolutely, and think we all go through those times.

I’m very sorry to hear about your friend, and I can see how her loss has been very difficult for you. Grief is a long process, and we never truly get over the loss of those that meant something to us, but bereavement counselling can help.

You sound as though you are struggling and probably overwhelmed with all of these separate issues you are having to deal with, but you aren’t getting any support. Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? I think it’s important that you do let them know because they should be able to arrange some support for you as a matter of urgency. After all, there are services that can help you with each of your issues. It may also be that your GP has to refer you to autism services, as opposed to you being able to access some help by you contacting the organisation that diagnosed you directly. Keep in touch with other people too - I find that using this forum alone helps me to cope with the difficulties in my life.

Do you have friends and/or family that can support you at this time? If you get really desperate then please tell someone, even if you use a service like the Samaritans. There is always someone who will be willing to listen and help. 

I do hope you get the support you need and you begin to feel better soon.