Published on 12, July, 2020
This is something of a tricky and disturbing subject to broach, mentioning murder, sexuality and sexual politics, but I hope it is worth it.
On Monday, someone, alleged to be a 25-year-old man, Alek Minassian, drove a van along a pavement in Toronto, killing ten people and wounding at least 15 others. The dead were parents and children, sisters and brothers, and will not be coming back. In attacks using this horrific method, any pain of the perpetrator is a fraction of that which they have caused.
Nevertheless, while some will use words like 'evil', 'terrorism' or 'mental illness', others look for a motive or explanation from very limited evidence. In this case, at least the suspect is alive and may be able to throw some light on it. I have read coverage and thought the suspect might be autistic, and others may have similar suspicions, so the event may become a concern that autistic people need to 'defend' themselves against, or be something that can shed light on needs of (possibly undiagnosed) autistic people.
As anyone with experience with or as an autistic person knows, autistic people are usually more moral than average and often conscientiously law-abiding. This is something the general public may not realise enough, but is there anything in recent media reports that challenges perception of autistic people? Eg UK 'security minister' Ben Wallace said:
We seize a number of these people who have autism, who are targeted and groomed by IS and the far-Right — so are we doing enough in mental health to identify vulnerable people?
The idea of making autistic people do something against their own code seems implausible to me. We also read that while 'there is no substantial link between ASD and terrorism', 'there may be specific risk factors which could increase the risk of offending among people with ASD. Autistic special interests such as fantasy, obsessiveness (extreme compulsiveness), the need for routine/predictability and social/communication difficulties can all increase the vulnerability of an person [sic] with ASD to going down the pathway to terrorism. Searching for a “need to matter” or social connection and support for someone who is alienated or without friends may also present as risk factors.'
Here are some of the things that have been said about Minassian:
Mr Minassian had previously attended a school for students with special needs in north Toronto, former classmates said. He would be seen walking around Thornlea Secondary School with his head down and hands clasped tightly together making meowing noises... Mr Minassian had not been violent. "He wasn't a social person, but from what I remember he was absolutely harmless" (BBC/Reuters) socially troubled computer studies graduate who posted a hostile message toward women on Facebook [“The Incel Rebellion has already begun!”]... Mr. Minassian had displayed extreme social awkwardness. But they said he had seemed harmless... “He was an odd guy, and hardly mixed with other students... He had several tics and would sometimes grab the top of his shirt and spit on it, meow in the hallways and say, ‘I am afraid of girls.’ It was like a mantra... He was a loner and had few friends” Mr. Minassian did not express strong ideological views or harass women... but he was isolated and others privately made fun of him. Mr. Minassian had difficulty communicating and expressed fear that women could hurt him. Other classmates said he literally ran away when women approached, even female students determined to befriend him... Mr. Minassian joined the armed forces on Aug. 23 of last year and quit two months later, after 16 days of basic training. (New York Times)
Mr Minassian had previously attended a school for students with special needs in north Toronto, former classmates said. He would be seen walking around Thornlea Secondary School with his head down and hands clasped tightly together making meowing noises... Mr Minassian had not been violent. "He wasn't a social person, but from what I remember he was absolutely harmless" (BBC/Reuters)
socially troubled computer studies graduate who posted a hostile message toward women on Facebook [“The Incel Rebellion has already begun!”]... Mr. Minassian had displayed extreme social awkwardness. But they said he had seemed harmless... “He was an odd guy, and hardly mixed with other students... He had several tics and would sometimes grab the top of his shirt and spit on it, meow in the hallways and say, ‘I am afraid of girls.’ It was like a mantra... He was a loner and had few friends” Mr. Minassian did not express strong ideological views or harass women... but he was isolated and others privately made fun of him. Mr. Minassian had difficulty communicating and expressed fear that women could hurt him. Other classmates said he literally ran away when women approached, even female students determined to befriend him... Mr. Minassian joined the armed forces on Aug. 23 of last year and quit two months later, after 16 days of basic training. (New York Times)
I was never that extreme, but some of it sounds familiar from that age.
An article on the progressive Southern Poverty Law Center site describes 'incel' (involuntarily celibate) as 'part of the online male supremacist ecosystem', rather than what it would appear to be, a misguided attempt by sexually frustrated, emotionally conflicted young men to make sense of their needs for self-expression and affection. I believe the term 'incel' has been around for at least ten years, and probably wasn't originally misogynist or applied almost exclusively to men. The article claims incel 'grew out of the pick-up artist movement'. However, while normalisation of casual sex, and manipulating people to achieve it, could be one of the sources of the current 'incel' identity, sex is ubiquitously used to sell anything from entertainment to food, and more importantly, it's not as though popular culture hasn't been talking about the healing virtues of romantic love for decades. When every desire seems commercially satisfiable other than two that can be very intense and are hardest to satisfy, for love and for sex, which often get conflated when neither urge is met, after a while bitterness can ensue. If you're a straight young man who is both 'love shy' and perceived as 'weird' (not a bad thing by some definitions), obsessions with women, both in particular and in general, and continual rejection, can completely derail you. They did me. It obviously wasn't any fault of any of the women involved, nor the men I was envious and jealous of. But I could have done with appropriate support to handle it better, before it led to suicidal depression. In past centuries, I might have joined a monastery.
So I'm suggesting there may be a lot of people in the 'incel community' who are unidentified autistic or have other disabilities or social disadvantages. The fact that there's a very inward-looking online group identity may encourage extreme views and unhelpful self-pity - on the other hand, it may just reflect them. I had a look at the incels.me site where SLPC noted offensive comments apparently celebrating the Toronto attack, and its 'introduction' is possibly revealing - it mentions the predicament (possibly about affection and status more than anything), but also the word 'ideology'. The 'rules', however, seem to ban women, 'white-knighting' (presumably being a pro-feminist ally), the idea that 'being yourself is the best way to conduct yourself in life' or that appearance is unimportant, nor it seems any account from people who have actually overcome difficulties to achieve happy sexual relationships. Probably banning such forums, as Reddit did, won't help - the answer is better speech, not less speech. Recognition that there are social difficulties that can be acquired or innate, and those difficulties are much more difficult for some to overcome than for others is vital, but there is little actually done about it. In the UK this is recognised by the Outsiders Club. Maybe the best solution is diverse experience, time with friends of more than one gender to work through resentments, learning acceptance, help working through other behavioural problems, social skills training, and (no doubt controversially) I'd suggest sex workers probably can do more to help boost self-acceptance than mental health staff.
I realise I've mentioned a few different issues here: that someone might overcome all their inhibitions to kill contrasts strongly with the way they can't overcome inhibitions and social barriers to help their personal development - to many, the internal frustration will seem a long way from hate-filled acts. That people may discriminate against outsiders romantically is also very different from being afraid of them. I find it disturbing, but nothing is to be feared, only understood, as Marie Curie said.
Yes, interesting. A lot to take in, and much I could comment on. Just a few thoughts, though...
The misinformation, stereotyping and misunderstanding about ASC that is extant in the media is a constant source of frustration for me. As you say, we're generally more moral and law-abiding. I remember once being laughed at for my 'naivety and foolhardiness' for going straight to Customs Officers at Heathrow after returning from a trip to the US and taking from my luggage the things I'd bought that required me to pay Customs duty. Ridiculed for doing the right thing! What a mug! Similarly, I simply don't understand why very wealthy people seek to avoid or evade taxes. If I was in such a situation, I'd be glad to pay my full whack of tax for the benefit of society as a whole.
I suppose I would regard myself more as a 'volcel' - 'voluntarily celibate'. As a younger man, I too was derailed by my shyness, rejection and jealousy of other men in regard to the opposite sex. As I've grown older, it's become less of an issue for me. Sure, a part of me would like to be romantically involved with someone special - but my history on that score is pretty dismal. I simply don't have the emotional equipment to handle things properly. I go head-over-heels... and then I go cold and distant. I want the person at the same time as wanting to be alone again. My ideal, I suppose would be a LAT-type relationship - but then I get separation anxiety. I could never have casual sex, or pay for it. What kind of fulfillment would there be in that? To me, sex and love are things that can't be so easily separated. Once I'm intimate with someone in that way, then I become emotionally attached. It's really easier for me to be as I am, and to sublimate my desires.
Before my diagnosis, I was seeing a therapist for a long time following a suicidal breakdown. It was my progressive relaying, over the weeks, of my life history that actually led to the first suggestion that ASC may be at the root of my problems. I told her about the bullying I'd experienced throughout school and also in the workplace, the continual rejections by other people, the ways in which I'd been cheated and undermined - in general, how I'd found other people to be indifferent to me at best, and hostile towards me at worst. I remember saying to her how such experiences could easily have led me along a path of revenge-seeking in some way - perhaps even criminal. Instead, though, it turned me the other way entirely. I gave her a favourite Spinoza quote, expressing a sentiment I try to live by: 'I have striven not to laugh at human actions. Not to weep at them. Nor to hate them. But to understand them.' This feels more like an instinctive motivation for me, rather than any form of conditioned moral code. People behave in the way they do - for good or bad - for reasons. I want to understand these reasons. I try to be forgiving of people for any damage they might do to me or others - even if that forgiving means I then have to walk away from them and effectively cut them out of my life. And I will always do whatever I can to support minorities and underdogs. Society can easily be too dismissive. Someone always needs to fight a corner for those that are down-trodden, disadvantaged or left behind in some way. I have a natural identification with such people. So, although I find much in the behaviour of others to infuriate and distress me - selfishness, arrogance, rudeness, cruelty, superficiality - that would never lead me to wish to do harm to anyone. In 58 years, I have never once laid a finger on anyone else. I've been abusive in other ways, I admit. But that's usually been towards those closest to me. Emotional abuse. Psychological abuse. I greatly regret these things. Even though they've doubtlessly been prompted by my condition in many ways, that doesn't completely absolve me. This is another reason why I prefer to be emotionally unattached at this stage in my life. I can't hurt anyone else. And I can't hurt myself, either.
Tom, that's a great bit of self-disclosure. Maybe when we find ourselves too overwhelmed or petrified by the possibility of attachment to someone else, whether it's 'voluntary' or 'involuntary' is a moot point. Believing it is involuntary and even blaming others, is only likely to lead to hurting ourselves at a minimum. It's very good that you've followed your natural path of understanding and forgiveness. I hope I can continue do the same.
I think it's become a bit easier for me with age too, partly from biology and partly from learning. It sounds to me like you've learned from your causing hurt in the past.