Huge faux pas in social situation. How do I fix it?

I think you're wise. It may have made the lady uncomfortable briefly but it's not as intrusive as if you were a man and I suspect she'll have forgotten about it by now.

By the way I am undiagnosed also, maybe I haven’t a clue about any of this,?

just my own personal views based on over analysing everything Lol.

x()x 

I could be totally wrong but I was led to believe many NT females look each other over when first meeting, I heard it is to form an opinion, dress Code, style, make up etc, can be to judge in a bad way or to just see what’s popular in style etc.

so although I guessed you were female moomin5 I didn’t feel it necessary to add my bit, I thought although you are yet to be diagnosed autistic that being female the other women would not be offended, 

I am however not NT so most probably have it all wrong, I don’t think I am to far wrong as reading about females who are autistic and seeing the first hurdles they reach are usually when moving up to a bigger school when all the girls are starting to select groups they want to be in, wear similar fashion, keep up with the latest trends, all very complex and often the female autistic is left bewildered trying to understand the complexities of it all, trying to fit in but never quite getting it right, often being dismissed as not girly enough by the “ in crowd” . 

Often choosing  to hang around with the boys as we are less complex with social interaction and less complex when forming groups to associate with.

 Again just my views, no intention to upset or judge anyone on the spectrum or neurotypicals.

after all we are all human beings, we all differ, there are many who vary regardless of so called traits or societal ideals,

I wrote about my own faux pa’s on another thread, back pain and bosoms,only after I did it I realised it may be inappropriate!

not my first and definitely not my last,

 peace and love to all.

x()x

I'm glad that i'm not the only one who does this. I find that i'm really drawn to particular people, sometimes it's because they're wearing bright clothes, or it could be their hair or that they're just generally an interesting person to look at. 

Absolutely, it's a really bad habit that I'm trying to stop doing. Being able to vent on this site is great, there's been loads of really kind responses and sensible advice from everyone. 

Leave it and see, the lady may have forgotten. Laugh it off as an unfortunate mistake.Loads make mistakes all the time anyway and to worry endlessly wastes time and emotional energy when the other person won't be the same 

Thanks for your reply, I'm just going to let it be. Honestly posting has been the best thing as I've gotten fantastic responses. It's stopped me focusing on it and made me have a bit of a laugh at myself. 

I'm female. 

I wondered that myself but the profile doesn't say and the tone of the post suggested male so that's what I went with. My response still applies regardless of sex or gender.

Hathor said:

I would find that terribly creepy if a guy

Is the OP male, or female?

That urge to correct mistakes, even small ones, and often that way making others more angry or whatever mild negative feeling they had, is something quite a few of us seem to have in common... Maybe it's good to see that this is somehow a characteristic we share and that feeling like this doesn't necessarily indicate that we have done something really bad.

Definitely don't go looking for her on Facebook. I would find that terribly creepy if a guy who'd been apparently staring at my breasts came looking for me on social media. What you might do when you see her again really depends on whether she's likely to remember you or not. Since that would be hard to tell unless she showed signs of ignoring you, sent you dirty looks or avoided you when you next meet, you may be best letting the matter rest and hoping she's forgotten.

If she does show signs of remembering your last encounter you could maybe try approaching her respectfully - asking her if she could spare you a minute, perhaps. In that situation I'd want a guy to say to me something like 'I think I made you feel uncomfortable last time we met. It wasn't deliberate, I have issues with my concentration, but I am sorry if I made you feel bad in any way'. Taking responsibility, apologising, respecting her boundaries, and explaining the problem without giving away the whole story - that's what I would do myself in a similar situation and that's what I would hope for myself from a man who'd made me feel uncomfortable that way. Believe me, she'll have suffered many such incidents in her life and most likely never had an apology for any of them. It's up to you what you feel you can do - what you might want to do and what you might feel able to do could be very different. It's greatly to your credit that you want to put things right if you can and I hope you can gain closure for yourself and for her.

It's not an unusual occurance.  I often find myself staring at new people, especially if they're attractive and/or interesting, then although I look away, my eyes keep moving back to them.  I imagine they find it quite creepy.

However, once I've got to know them, the attraction disappears and my staring stops.  In fact, they'll be very lucky if I ever make eye-contact for more that 3 seconds at a time.

I've just realised that, I didn't think about the double meaning when I wrote it down. Good to have a laugh about it! 

Yes I do that too, I'm a great daydreamer. 

Although I should be the last person to give advice in these situations.

I agree with others here.

Doing nothing is the best policy here.  With time, people will forget and move on.

Your faux Pas is not that huge ( sorry, I've just realised a double meaning to what I've written, can't stop laughing (at myself, not you.))

The situation could have been worse.  So just try to forget it;

There is an old saying.  " You can look, but you can't touch"

Don't try to apologise. It'll only make things far worse. 

I suppose most adult females on the planet must quickly become accustomed to undue attention to their chest at some point in their lives? Whatever the outfit was, she might have wondered if the choice was unwise, or alternatively, if she was dressed to get a reaction, you may not have been the only person she caught looking that night.

Were you actually staring, or did you just happen to be looking at that part of her when your mind raced off through myriad associative thoughts, unconnected with where your eyes happened to be directed?

If the latter, and only if an opportunity presents itself naturally, you might be able to work something subtle into a subsequent conversation:

"Sometimes I'm miles away - I look like I'm paying attention, but actually my brain's wandered off onto all sorts of random stuff, and I'm not really seeing anything in front of me. Does that happen to you too, or am I just the odd one out?"

I think it's best to hope that she might forget all about it. Fingers crossed. 

Sorry that was meant for trainspotter. 

Thanks for your reply. I don't have a diagnosis yet so can't really explain my behaviour by saying that I'm autistic as I don't officially know if I am.