Fear of phones?

Does anyone else have a horror of talking on the phone? I have hated using the phone since I was a child, although it is hard to pin down exactly why I dislike it so much. I think my main difficulty is 'reading' how a conversation is going when I can't see the other person. I pause for too long, or jump in too soon, or struggle to pick up crucial info from their tone - is this a bad time to call? am I making myself clear?

I am currently going through a work-related nightmare scenario where I have been asked to make loads of phone calls - in a situation I have always previously handled by email - and I feel stressed and anxious about all the time: anticipating the calls, making the calls, reflecting on the calls. It is supposed to be making everyone feel encouraged, but if any of the hapless recipients are like me they will be thoroughly put off!

I have always thought this was just a random failure on my part, but now I am wondering whether it is integral to my nature.

Parents
  • It's to do with auditory processing issues. I now avoid phoning, but my pension company wouldn't let me have my money without forcing me to 'listen' to a long phone call, despite listening problems and meltdown whilst on the phone. More than a year later they still refuse to offer a written alternative. Because I couldn't listen properly the contract by phone was probably illegal.  Lots of companies ignore letters or leave phone messages to cal them. Just because we can hear but can't process information we are penalised.

  • Did you manage to sort this out? I've just found out that my pension provider has the same policy. I'm thinking of stopping my contributions and saving in cash instead, as at least then I retain access to the money. I can't do calls at all - the sound coming out of the phone is just random noises and I can't tell when it's my turn to speak.

  • Under the Equality Act 2010 they should be agreeing to reasonable adjustments, to ensure that you can access their services in a format you can understand.

    As it is a pension provider it may also fall under the FCA guidance for treating vulnerable customers fairly.

    https://www.fca.org.uk/publication/finalised-guidance/fg21-1.pdf

  • They think that telling me to use Relay UK fulfills their obligations. But (a) I've never managed to get Rellay to work and (b) it doesn't solve the problem of being bombarded with information that I won't take in, but would have no problem digesting if it were out in an email or letter. Apparently the call needs to be "conversational" so a letter won't do.

  • It shouldn't need to come to that. Just pointing out to them which particular rules and regulations they're breaking might work.

    That is assuming you can find a method to communicate with them that isn't by phone. You can always use a good old fashioned letter.

    It's shocking that they can hold on to your money like that. Don't let them win by writing it off. There will be a way, even if you don't know what it is yet.

    I get the effort it takes to constantly fight these things. In my ideal world all autistic adults would have easy access to free advocacy services, who would take on these kinds of issues and fight for the reasonable adjustments we currently cannot access.

  • I am unfortunately not capable of pursuing a legal case. It looks like I might have to write off the £20k that's stuck in that provider's accounts. At least I realised now and not 20 years later!

  • Yes, but the problem is getting them to comply. Not everyone has the determination / resources to pursue a complaint to get them to do it or to take legal action if necessary.

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