Asperger's as a personality trait?

For me personally, many of my traits do not seem at all like aspects of personality - though certainly, having grown up with them, they have contributed to the development of my personality.  In addition, having spent most of my life so far forcing myself to "pass as normal", there is a big question mark over whether the personality that I project to other people is entirely my real personality, rather than an false persona adopted for ease of interaction with other people.

To take one example.  I may be perceived by other people as having an "asocial" or "shy" personality.  However, much of my reticence to speak up socially has nothing to do with lacking the desire to do so.  There are aspects of my condition which make the process of communicating more difficult regardless of how much I would prefer to be more outgoing...

• My processing of speech is very slow.  This often leaves me with little chance to express my true opinion.  I can choose between somebody else taking the next turn to speak before I get the chance, or to react quickly but say something which doesn't really capture what I really think or misunderstands information that I haven't processed yet.
• Reading eye contact and body language are not simply a matter of having too little practice.  My senses get overwhelmed easily, and my ability to avoid distracting stimuli so that I can focus on the right thing at the right time is limited.  I do well at identifying facial expressions when it is explicitly tested, but in real life, I just don't see them in the first place because of these sensory issues and problems with attention.
• Having to consciously attend to reading body language and expressions is a huge extra load on my brain relative to having an instinctive response for them.  As well as being very tiring, it also distracts me from hearing what is said accurately and processing its meaning.  It is hard to find the right thing to say when so much contextual information is missed.
• Understanding social situations also calls for a lot of explicit analysis, again a further stress on an already overworked brain.  Trouble with judging the appropriateness of what I'm going so say leads to anxiety and self-censorship (often "playing it safe" by simply being agreeable whether or not I truly feel that way.)
• Too much sensory input can simply overwhelm me to the point of shutting down.  If I feel that this is imminent, I have to remove myself from the situation, regardless of how much I would like to spend more time with the people present.

I do agree that the above, as with any other trait associated with autism, exist on a continuum, without any distinct boundary at which they become a disability or dysfunction.  However, I feel that the above are purely perceptual and cognitive traits.  Rather than being part of my personality, they are actually hurdles which impair my ability to express who I really am.  I would prefer that I could communicate with people more and feel more connected to them, and it frustrates me when I cannot, particularly when it gives other people a false sense of who I am or how I feel about them.

A similar argument could be made for the executive functioning issues which I experience, which can sometimes prevent me from initiating an action even when I desire it, can clearly see the benefits of it, and have all the necessary resources at my disposal.

In fact, this is largely how I define which of my autistic traits I consider to be disabilities - they are the parts which hinder me from acting on the needs and desires of my true self, or from negotiating reasonable compromises with the world around me.  However, by this definition, it is also perfectly reasonable that not all autistic people need identify themselves as disabled (or even as autistic at all), as their personality and their autistic traits may be in harmony with each other.

I haven't read the article but I agree with everything Trogliddite says. I would class myself as outgoing, yet I spend most of my time by myself. Not through choice exactly, but because I am so tired from all the 'masking' and I've come to the point where I am no longer able to do it. It's because of my personality that I've come this far and because of my personality that I need to rethink my whole life. Now I know why, to some degree, that I have all these difficulties, or at least I have a name for them, I can come at them from a different angel. I no longer have to fight them but I also can no longer ignore them. Autism shaped my personality, but the personality that the world sees (other than my autistic friends) is not who I am. But I no longer have anything to prove anything anymore, I can learn to be myself. 

Thank you Trogluddite you have basically written how I feel, how I am, not exact but pretty much who I am and how I cope day to day and have for most of my life.

blueray you are in a similar place as myself.

I now understand how I have struggled all my life to co exist, I no longer have age on  my side or energy to keep up the pretence, 

i must be allowed to be myself as much as others will allow without seeing it as an encumbrance.

Hi BlueRay,

I am glad that you have managed to find a safe space to 'unmask' yourself and be you for a little while.  Keep on with those baby steps and you will reach your goals!  

Hi BlueRay,

I am glad that you have managed to find a safe space to 'unmask' yourself and be you for a little while.  Keep on with those baby steps and you will reach your goals!