Published on 12, July, 2020
For a long time I´ve tried to figure out why I got my diagnosis (PDD-NOS) and I´m going to get a second opinion. But one thing that could be seen as a form of "disability" is perhaps that I´m been unemployed for a long time, I´m 37 years old, and I I´ve worked only for shorter periods of time. I´ve studied at university and completed two exams. For two years I´ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I´m not sure what´s what and what has contributed moslyt to my unemployment. I have only positive job credentials but I didn´t find the jobs to be interesting or stimulating enough. Now, after several years of unemployment this becomes a problem and I risk having to engage in unemployment activities that´ll only make me feel worse.
I don´t know if I would manage to have a full time job for a longer period of time, like several years or if my diagnosis is the reason why I don´t feel any job is interesting enough. I easily feel "trapped" and bored by office work even if I don´t mean I would want to work on a farm or similar.
I want to ask others if longer periods of unemployment are significant for people on the spectrum?
Hi Erika,
I started work when I was 16, so have been in the job market for 42 years. In that time, I've had periods of unemployment (following 2 redundancies or periods of leaving work through sickness) ranging from 6 months to 4 years. The longer periods have generally been for sickness. On two occasions I left jobs through ill-health - one because of workplace bullying, one because the shift work messed me up too much and I had a suicidal breakdown. That latter job was the exception in that all of my other jobs, throughout life, have generally been fixed around the 'office hours' structure, with no or very little overtime. So, roughly 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. That's the structure that suits me.
I've had many jobs. I've worked on farms, in shops and offices. I've been a driver, a book-keeper, a civil servant. I've stacked shelves in supermarkets and manned the pumps in a petrol station. My first job was at a Devon cider works, where I helped to harvest the apples, make the cider, bottle it, deliver it, sell it. I've lost count of the number of jobs I've had, but it's probably around 30. Length of tenure has ranged from 2 weeks to (the longest) 6 years. The 6-year job was in a large independent wholefood shop. I stayed so long because I loved the place: full of hippies, drop-outs, radicals, anarchists, musicians, artists, hunt saboteurs... people on my wavelength! I was made redundant from there and my next job was in the civil service, as a Family law administrative officer, handling mainly divorce. It was interesting work in many ways, but in a stiflingly dull office with ultra-conventional people - the complete opposite of my previous experience. The civil service, though, is a good place for people like us. I liked the relatively good pay, the flexi-time, the routines, the good leave entitlement, the extra grace-and-favour days off. It was the best off I've ever been financially in the work place - but in the end the dullness of the environment got to me. I was shunned by my co-workers, which has been a common experience (my diagnosis helped me to discover why!). I left that for a job in care, working with people with learning disabilities. For the last 12 years, that's mainly what I've done - in four different establishments. Again, I've generally been lucky to take on roles in day services, so office hours again. I wouldn't want to do residential work. That's when you get the horrible shifts and the overtime. I currently work with autistic adults in a day centre. I do 4 days a week, so have nice long weekends off. I can just about manage on it money-wise, though it's tight at times. But I live cheaply and simply, which helps. I have a strong need for simplicity in my life. I can't handle too many priorities.
So, I guess my answer to your question is: yes. In my case, too, lots of changes. The older I get, the harder it can be to change. Having said that, though, this is my 5th job in the last 4 years (and I've had offers of two others in the last 2 months!) I've been in this current role since September, and feel reasonably settled. I can't say I'll stay until I retire in 8 years' time - but who knows!
I also did voluntary work once - as a computer trainer in a local library. Mainly basic stuff - showing novices how to use Windows, surf the internet, set up emails. That can be a good experience if you're that way inclined. It's something to put on your CV. Depends how you feel about working with people. Learning disabilities, in many ways, is my ideal role. I identify naturally with vulnerable people. I tend to get on better with the service users than the staff, too. I feel more on their wavelength. It's challenging and exhausting work, and badly-paid, but very rewarding.
PS I suppose I should add that my credo has generally been that I work to live - not live to work. It's always been a means to an end. My main passions in life are what come after work - writing, reading, other creative work. For those, I need time - which is why long shifts and overtime are things I've always tried to avoid. Likewise, big financial commitments, like a mortgage. After-work time is my time and no one else's. I get home, close my door, and I'm in my world! I've never had any inclination to be a manager in work - again, because of the extra commitments, and the fact that I prefer to let other people make the decisions - even if the risk is there that I won't agree with them! It's good, though, to try to combine that need for income with something that can be stimulating and interesting. Even my most boring jobs have had elements that I enjoy and can get absorbed in. The care work, though, is probably my most rewarding job so far. And the fact that I'm working with autistic people adds a further element of special interest.
I love the way you write Tom. I’m currently watching old black and white movies, which are of course, wonderfully dramatic and theatrical and your writing is like a continuation of the film I’ve just watched. I love it.
I’m the same as you. I’ve had quite a few jobs, all very different. As a social worker and mental health practitioner I always got on better with the clients than staff and being on the same wavelength as the clients meant that I could complete thorough assessments in a short space of time and arrange supppet for people that actually helped. I enjoyed that work and like you, found elements of enjoyment in all my jobs, but I could never sustain them for one reason or another.
Like you, I need time and very few distractions, big commitments etc, to spend time on what I really love which is writing, poetry, cooking, fresh air, exercise and travelling to new places.
Now I have the reason for my employment history so I’m creating an income that I can sustain, which meets my needs and gives me the time I need for my interests. I’m a metaphysician and by noting how I help myself over the next few months or the next year, how ever long it takes, I will then translate that to helping others in my situation. It could take a while but it doesn’t matter because at least I have more of an idea of moving forward now.
You're a great writer.
That’s a really good tip Tom, thank you, I’ll follow that.
Fictionalise it, maybe, to give yourself a little 'distance'. For me, first person is the most natural voice. I just changed the name. Books that inspired me were 'The Catcher in the Rye', Knut Hamsun's 'Hunger' and the autobiographical novels of Charles Bukowski. Some writers avoid writing about their life. But there's more than enough material in the average life to fill many volumes! Bukowski made a good career out of it. I never run out of finding things to say!
My diagnosis in 2015 put my life into perspective, so it became an integral part of the narrative in writing this book. My Asperger's shaped my life in a way that landed me at exactly the right place and at the right time to take over mum's care. I had no other commitments to family, no partner, no children, no social life to give up... and my employers at the time gave me their blessing to take the time off on the understanding that I could return when I was ready. I honestly think that if I'd been differently-wired, it would never have turned out that way.
That sounds like a good idea. You’ve just given me a good way to start. My support worker has been encouraging me to journal everyday and I often do, but not in the sense of sitting down every day and writing, but I’m going to change that, I’m going to sit down at a set time every day and write. Brilliant, thanks Tom, this will help in my quest to establish a daily routine, following my breakdown.
I agree, honesty is crucial, otherwise it’s like cheating the reader and it throws the whole story out. I did think I would print mine after my parents died but I’m not working on that book right now, I’m going to focus more on the autism experience I think, but either way, I’ve come to terms with the possibility of upsetting people.