Are longer periods of unemployment significant for people on the spectrum?

That’s a really good tip Tom, thank you, I’ll follow that. 

Fictionalise it, maybe, to give yourself a little 'distance'.  For me, first person is the most natural voice.  I just changed the name.  Books that inspired me were 'The Catcher in the Rye', Knut Hamsun's 'Hunger' and the autobiographical novels of Charles Bukowski.  Some writers avoid writing about their life.  But there's more than enough material in the average life to fill many volumes!  Bukowski made a good career out of it. I never run out of finding things to say!

My diagnosis in 2015 put my life into perspective, so it became an integral part of the narrative in writing this book.  My Asperger's shaped my life in a way that landed me at exactly the right place and at the right time to take over mum's care.  I had no other commitments to family, no partner, no children, no social life to give up... and my employers at the time gave me their blessing to take the time off on the understanding that I could return when I was ready.  I honestly think that if I'd been differently-wired, it would never have turned out that way. 

That sounds like a good idea. You’ve just given me a good way to start. My support worker has been encouraging me to journal everyday and I often do, but not in the sense of sitting down every day and writing, but I’m going to change that, I’m going to sit down at a set time every day and write. Brilliant, thanks Tom, this will help in my quest to establish a daily routine, following my breakdown. 

I agree, honesty is crucial, otherwise it’s like cheating the reader and it throws the whole story out. I did think I would print mine after my parents died but I’m not working on that book right now, I’m going to focus more on the autism experience I think, but either way, I’ve come to terms with the possibility of upsetting people. 

The thing that really got me going again, after years of nothing, was committing to NaNoWriMo in 2011 - on the night before it began!  I had no idea what I was going to write about.  I just decided to start doing a fictional journal (largely based on my own experiences) of a man recovering from a breakdown and learning to come to terms with life again.  I just wrote a 'journal entry' every day.  Pretty soon, a narrative began to emerge.  Terrified that I'd never reach the 50k word target in 30 days, I eventually ended up doing 75k!  That became the basis of my first novel.  It was like a damburst of emotions, thoughts, experiences.  It also helped me to recover from the breakdown it was based upon.

NaNo is a great exercise.  You don't get time to fuss around with grammar, spelling, editing, etc.  You simply have to get the words down.  As Hemingway said: Get it writ.  Then get it right!

Honesty is necessary.  I remember reading, a few years ago, an interview with Hanif Kureishi when he was teaching creative writing at university.  His students would often come to him, worrying that a relative would recognise themselves in a piece of writing and become upset.  He was adamant about it.  It's the risk you must take.  Otherwise, the falsity with be apparent.  Writing that book has been cathartic.  It's also been therapeutic - keeping mum alive in the words.  It's enabled me to come to terms with her loss much better than I expected.  And yes - my brother will be upset.  But only because of what I have to say about his wife and her family.  She's done such a lot of damage over the years - including to him, though he doesn't realise because he's her puppet.  The truth needs to be told about that. 

You’re right DongFeng5, it doesn’t matter if nobody buys the book but the truth is, people like to read the stories of ‘ordinary’ people because as Mark Twain said, Truth is stranger than fiction. And yes, it would be a cathartic experience. There are many ways to start and because we’re all different, we will all do it in a different way. Some people can write a book very quickly and some take years. It doesn’t matter how it’s done. One way to do it is to simply start writing or talking (into a voice recorder) as if you were talking to a friend and just start talking. Books often have loads of edits and re-edits so really, it doesn’t matter where you start and there is lots of help out there to help put it together and several ways to get it published etc. It’s harder than I thought it would be but that’s mostly because I was stuck on, how do I start. And the truth is, you start by writing. I’ve got lots of bits of writing, all over the place, which I will bring together but first, I have to get a few things sorted. Whenever I feel inspired, I write, sometimes it doesn’t amount to much and some times I can write for a few hours. A good way to start is put a timer on for 30 minutes and just write, maybe start writing about what you want to write about, for example, I would start by saying I am writing about my experience of being autistic and go from there. It’s surprising what happens when you sit down with pen and paper (or computer) and put the timer on. You’ll probably find you don’t want to stop after 30 minutes. 

I’ve realised it’s more important for me to express myself.

Gosh. I always had an idle fantasy of writing a book. Others have said I ought to write a <<work related>> book, but there is plenty of personal material to work with. I very much doubt anyone would buy it, but I don't think that's really the point anyway. Part of me thinks the experience might be quite cathartic, but I don't really know where to start. 

My strength is maths.

Robert124, if writing and English are your weak points (and I agree with Former Member that you don't actually have any issues there), what are your strengths like? 

What a great honour and tribute you pay your mum. She must have been a truly loving and wonderful person and what you’re doing, is just about the greatest honour a son could pay his mother. And yes, the book is important. I’ll be writing mine too. I’ve started it but it’s kind of taken a different turn since I’ve been diagnosed. There may be two books there as I want to focus on my experience of autism first as I think that is the most important one. 

I cant wait to read your book, I know I’ll be captivated as I love your writing style. And yes, your Mum is always with you, no matter where she is or no matter where you are, she is always in your heart and I’m sure that when you need a hug, you can think of her and steal some of her optimism and let her loving embrace put a gentle smile on your face. I know that no matter where I go or what I do, I will always be sending love to my son, one way or another. 

I know what you mean about causing an earthquake in the family. I was put off writing my book for that very same reason but I’ve got over that now as I’ve realised it’s more important for me to express myself. I eagerly await your book. 

Robert - Your post shows an excellent command of writing and English.  Take heart.  You're much better than you think you are 

Take it from a writer with an English degree - but who still struggles with grammar!

My life is a complete mess.  Writing and English is one of my weak points.  In fact at the moment I'm working through an English grammar textbook, trying to improve those weak points.

I've had many  short term jobs in my past and that's just one of my problems.

My family life was complete insanity.  My parents were refugees/immigrants, who never learnt to read/write or speak adequate English.  And relied on me and my sister to do all the translating in later years.  This lead to all kind of ridiculous behaviour such as reverse psychology, avoidance of situations, making all kinds of excuses and just general insanity, to try to cover up what was really happening.

Where most people are told by their families to get off their arses and go out to look for work.  I was pressured to stay at home 24 hours a day.

Even signing on for job seekers allowance was difficult. Once on my way to sign on, my mother demanded to know where I was going.  I explained to her very logically, that I had to sign on, look for work and the government in return gave me money to live on.  She responded just as logically, " Don't be silly, you can't work, you don't speak any English".  After that I arranged my shopping trips to coincide with signing on days, to avoid arguments.

Even when I was working there were constant arguments about why I was leaving the house.

My father was openly terrified that nobody must discover that I even existed.  When people started asking embarrassing questions about why an adult son was living with his parents.  His usual response was along the lines that I was severely disabled/retarded and unable to communicate verbally. His actual words were, "He just makes stupid noises, pretending to speak". Then he went of into hysterical laughter.

My lack of working experience led the job centre to encourage me to undertake further training and education.  To improve my employment prospects and get me off the unemployment register.  This led me to more qualifications and short term temporary jobs.

So my CV had lots and lots of gaps.  No stable employment history.

thanks Martian 

I'm not surprised. Clearly, "the game" is very much loaded against your circumstances. 

Since it seems unlikely you can win the game as-is, what could you do to twist the rules of the game to your benefit? I.e. Play a different game, by your rules?

Former Member could probably make money from writing... do you have an angle you could work? Make something that people can't get anywhere else? 

what do you enjoy doing, and what are you most skilled at?

Very well said, BlueRay.  Society likes to find soft targets to vilify and abuse, and people on benefits get the worst of it.  I was several years on ESA after my breakdown - yet to all intents and purposes, as other people saw it, I was perfectly healthy and normal.  Even though I did voluntary work during this time, I was made - by some - to feel like a malingerer.  Values are all skewed.  People at the top end - the ones who caused all the grief in the first place - get away with big bonuses, tax avoidance, expenses fiddling, etc.  But no... society, aided and abetted by the tabloids and popular TV programmes, stick the knives into those who struggle to simply make it through a day without either running out of money, being evicted, or worse.  Jacqui - I have a dear friend whom I met when I was using a substance misuse facility.  She's beautiful, intelligent, articulate and well-educated.  But, now in her early 40s, she's never been able to work.  She volunteers at a local hospice, which is as much as she can manage.  What people don't understand is that she would probably give anything not to be the way she is; to be able to live a 'normal' life, have a home, have children - all the things that her sister has.  No... they see this person I've described and think 'Why aren't you working?'  No wonder sick people become sicker, with so much against them. 

Take heart, though.  We understand you.  Try not to take any notice of the idiots - for that's what they are. 

Thank you, BlueRay.  I'm flattered!  Writing is my passion, it's true.  I started doing it at the age of ten, when I got my first Petite typewriter for Christmas when all the other boys were getting Meccano and footballs.  I've written most things: poetry, plays, scripts and fiction.  Short fiction and poetry are probably the main ones, and where I have the most success with publication or competitions.  I say 'success', by which I mean £30 here, £50 there.  £100 is the biggest prize, for a poetry competition years ago.  I published one novel, which vanished without trace!  I'm now editing the manuscript of my second book - the longest to date, at 140k words.  It's autobiographical, focusing on the six months I lived with mum and nursed her during her final illness.  It's also about family history... and growing up and living with Asperger's - undiagnosed until almost 3 years ago.  I want to try to publish it because I think it's a good story.  But it will create a bit of an earthquake in the family if my brother got to read it.  It can't be helped.  I can only tell the truth as I see it.  No point in embroidering things to please other people any longer.  Above all, it's a testament to a wonderful woman who struggled hard in her life, but always kept optimistic.  She was the one person I could go to for unconditional love and support.  She was always there - and now she isn't (physically, anyway).  I miss her every day.  This time of year is especially difficult.  But the writing will carry me through

Thanks again.  It's great encouragement.

Society also needs to change its value system. They value people on what job they do, what car they drive, what house they have etc but some of us will never achieve these values for various different reasons, and as such, we are seen as less than. But we know we’re not and that’s the main thing, even though it seems worthless at times because so many people follow the ‘norm’.  But the truth is, we’re just as valid and equal as anybody else and we must try to always remember that. 

I love the way you write Tom. I’m currently watching old black and white movies, which are of course, wonderfully dramatic and theatrical and your writing is like a continuation of the film I’ve just watched. I love it. 

I’m the same as you. I’ve had quite a few jobs, all very different. As a social worker and mental health practitioner I always got on better with the clients than staff and being on the same wavelength as the clients meant that I could complete thorough assessments in a short space of time and arrange supppet for people that actually helped. I enjoyed that work and like you, found elements of enjoyment in all my jobs, but I could never sustain them for one reason or another. 

Like you, I need time and very few distractions, big commitments etc, to spend time on what I really love which is writing, poetry, cooking, fresh air, exercise and travelling to new places. 

Now I have the reason for my employment history so I’m creating an income that I can sustain, which meets  my needs and gives me the time I need for my interests. I’m a metaphysician and by noting how I help myself over the next few months or the next year, how ever long it takes, I will then translate that to helping others in my situation. It could take a while but it doesn’t matter because at least I have more of an idea of moving forward now. 

You're a great writer.