Published on 12, July, 2020
I am 60. At what ages does there cease to be any practical point in seeking an assessment/dx? It's not as though I'm going to be able to reverse the damage of 4 decades of mistreatment is it?
I'm really glad I went for my diagnosis, and got it at 56. It was the validation I needed. My life made sense to me from that moment. I knew I was on the spectrum, of course - but I wanted it acknowledged. I wanted it on paper. Incontrovertible. My mental health, always precarious, has improved because of it. Because no longer do I have to make excuses for not being like everyone else.
I fully believe that I have Autism-even though I am waiting for the doctor to organise a proper diagnosis.
Everything -to a greater or lesser degree that I have read here about the Autistic life experience fits in with my own
experience. I am 59 and feel that in many ways it is simply too late to work at but I would benefit enormously by having a
confirmation from the professionals, if nothing else, I am constantly attacking myself for my failings and mistakes and the
confirmation that perhaps not Every single screw-up could be laid at my feet because of my own laziness, stupidity or
ineptitude would be a welcome development.
That's exactly it - the benefit from that confirmation.
I had a referral to a course of DBT especially developed for autistic people. But I didn't go in the end. So much of it seems to be about adapting/improving(?) behaviour in order to make us fit in better. And I really would prefer not to fit in! I've felt like an outsider for most of my life, and I don't see myself changing now. Quite frankly, it helps me to be on the outside looking in. It's what drives my writing.
Former Member Am I rude for asking if you have a spouse, children or siblings? I ask because I'm an NT spouse & mother - the only NT in the house & this explanation of preferring no behaviour change or to "fit in" is often given to me by my ASD spouse & young adult daughter. It's become a very old & destructive perspective in the household, requiring me to live entirely in an ASD world with zero accommodation or attempts at perspective change to benefit my needs as an NT person. I understand the unique gifts my spouse & daughter have accrued & developed in light of their autism, but not the 100% refusal to adapt anything for another's (& ultimately their own) benefit. I must constantly adapt & change to accommodate their needs & those of others. If you were asked to change & adapt for the benefit of another, would you attempt to do so? What would convince you to attempt such changes; what words from an NT would convince you to change your perspective &/or behaviours in select situations? In our home, the ASD diagnosis is not used by those diagnosed as a tool to help themselves, rather as a weapon & I'd like to find ways to encourage voluntary change. Suggestions?