Miswired Women of the Net!

()()xx I hope you do 

Trying also to find a safe place

Mm NTs all around not so easy! It’s like the others saying they’re dropping their mask bit by bit. Letting go of NT’s expectations bit by bit too. Stuff happening I’m trying to adjust to and make the right choice as usual.. does make me want to find a safe place. X

No lovely.....I just need to free myself from NT shackles! X you ok.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Anything I can help with? 

Sorry for delay in reply ., notifications aren’t coming through 

 So so. Attending to my dad and a short walk but sunshine had gone by then. 

Pretty crap.....you? Lol

Hello Ellie 500+ views this thread! How is your weekend going? 

...and you!...being aspie and literal...don't squash the dog when you sit on it!! :)

I would love to share what I’ve got planned Elie, I’ve never had a ‘goal’ or a plan before, and it’s taken me years, to come to this plan, which makes me laugh because as I look back, it’s all I ever wanted to do right from being a kid. I guess I’m a bit slow to figure things out ;-) 

I’m about to take the dog for a walk (dog sitting for my son) and I’m going out tonight - to get it over with (another story), so as soon as I can, in the next few days, I’ll reply. Right now my stomachs calling me, so a bite to eat then dog duties! 

Have a lovely day 

That was not a mountain....but with your chocolate reference earlier....you are just navigating a bar of toblerone! - joke!

So, you have a bucket list of needs......sounds like you've given yourself one hell of a challenge.  What are the success criteria? All or nothing...some would be good? Are some more important needs to satisfy for others?  

curious......tell me to *** off if I am prying.

My main need is a "space to be" - someone where I can be at peace with myself, a safe space where can I drop my mask and feel ok to do so!

Haha I like that and despite our challenges, I think we’re here to show the NT folk a thing or two, including how to climb mountains :-) I love the sound of music and even though I’m taking my mountains in smaller chunks, I will keep going until all my needs are met in a way that I desire and then people will look and say, oh, she climbed that giant mountain, and I didn’t even notice, and then they’ll want to know how I did it, but by that point, they’ll have to pay me if they want to know ;-) 

BlueRay said:

I just need to keep away from people! Lol! Joking/not joking!

So true BluRay..... I am drawn always to reaching out to connect with people but have to be mindful that I don’t make a mess of it or handle it the wrong way! .....no one likes a squished Aspie! 

Smaller mountains are good, safer, just about manageable but I would love to beat th NT folk and run up a huge mountain and beat them when they weren’t looking!

Great support here. Yeah, I think I’ve learned my lesson with hitting the peak, I’m going for a much smaller mountain this time, it’s easier all round and to be fair, I’m pretty satisfied with the simple things in life, I just need to keep away from people! Lol! Joking/not joking! ;) I’m slowly learning to take a step by step approach while gathering up supplies/support along the way. 

Chocolate muffins always help. In fact, chocolate, full stop, always helps! :-) 

Thanks for the welcome all.

Hi Fuchsia

I too have elderly parent duties (both my parents and my husband's parent and partner).  Fortunately there are several family members involved so we can share duties.  It would be difficult otherwise as they're in different areas too.

It is astounding how many different people you have to speak to about different things.  I genuinely don't know how someone would be able to do it who had no family to help them.  It seems so odd to have such a disjointed system for people who really really need everything to be simple.

I have noticed too that the quality differs a lot between two different local authority areas.  In one area I've had to end up in arguments over ridiculous things because I was suggesting to do things that didn't follow the written down process (basically skip some of the process because we weren't asking for help in that area anyway, but no, apparently they needed us to go through all of the paperwork just in case anything changed.  Apparently me telling them at a later stage if things had changed wasn't the right process, grrrr).  I hate confrontation but I got so frustrated.  So I steeled myself to have to do it with the staff in another local authority area, but they understood straight away, agreed straight away and it was so simple.

I've had all the paperwork tasks.  So don't get me started on the benefits system!!!!  There must be so many people who aren't claiming what they are entitled to because they either don't know about it or they were overwhelmed by the application process and decided not to bother.  I'm in the process now of the application for a council tax reduction which I only know about because we did it for one household after someone happened to mention it to us.

It all takes a surprising amount of time to sort out and it can be really tiring too.  When I visit I go for 2-3 days at a time so that I can do as much as I can there.  But I always come away exhausted, then it's onto the next household.  Then as you say you are trying to 'perform' too.  I hope you are able to factor in some time-outs for yourself so that you can recharge.

X

just don’t forget that at the peak is the drop...,and we all know that one!!! Vertigo after all is not a fear of heights....but a fear of falling...

Don’t forget the Kendal mint cake...., Misfit61  usually has some chocolate muffins for the trip! 

I'll spring you some crampons and an ice axe.