Miswired Women of the Net!

Hi everyone

I've been dipping into these forums for a few months now and haven't posted very much.  But I spotted this thread and thought what a good idea.

I realised my 'aspie-ness' a few years ago when someone was commenting to me about why they thought someone else may be 'on the spectrum'.  They gave a list of things as to why they thought that and my response was "doesn't everyone do that then?".  After talking with them a bit more (they are a health professional) they gave me a few pointers to look into it further.  The recommended aspie tests I found on the internet all very clearly pointed towards me being aspie.  Similarly the more I found out about it the more I identified in myself.  I decided not to seek a formal diagnosis as I figured I'd got to that point in life.  I could look back across my life and so many things slotted into place it was a massive light bulb moment.

However, I started thinking about it again a few months ago.  I realised I hadn't really changed anything and was still hiding behind my 'mask of acceptability'.  So I looked into it all again and pondered seeking a formal diagnosis.  After looking at other people's experiences of getting an aspie diagnosis (seems to be 18 months to 2 years is the norm) I again decided not to go down that route.  I don't really want to spend lots of time in the company of the medical profession if I can help it (they are lovely people generally but I'd rather be walking my dog on a mild autumn morning than sitting in a consultant's waiting room).

So I'm not really sure how to identify myself to the rest of the family and friends.  My husband is aware and when I first raised it with him he immediately agreed that I am an aspie (he has no problem telling me if he doesn't agree with my wild theories usually).  But I've told no one else.  Having just suggested on another thread that the best way to try to cope with family occasions is to talk to them about being aspie, what it means for you, etc, I must admit I felt like a hypocrite.  I told my husband that I wasn't comfortable telling family as some of them will decide I'm talking rubbish without an official diagnosis (I've no doubt that is largely due to my enormous skill with my mask).  He reckons I could tell them anyway and if they argue too much tell them I have had an official diagnosis, his theory being that they couldn't prove otherwise.  I'm not entirely comfortable with that for various reasons.

Also I spotted a discussion about menopause on an earlier version of this thread.  I went through surgical menopause 3 years ago so was interested in people's comments.  I definitely feel like I have changed but I don't know whether this is aspie-related or not.  The surgery was for ovarian cancer which was life changing in itself, so it's difficult to know how aspie-ness has defined my view on life over the last 3 years.  I have found that my approach to cancer diagnosis has differed from others in a similar position.  I think this has also made me think again about what being aspie means.

I feel like I want to shout out to people I'm aspie and I'm proud and this is what it means for me.  I don't lack empathy, I just perceive life differently to you, so I have to learn what's important to you just like you have to learn what's important to me.  I'm the type of person who I think is likely to stand up and explain why something is different for me to try to help people to understand.  But I can't really get myself past the official diagnosis hurdle.  I feel like what I say could be undermined if someone turns around and says but a doctor hasn't agreed that I'm aspie so how do I really know that what I"m saying is relevant.

I agree with some of the other comments about finding a way around the forum.  I do find it a little confusing, though I can't really explain why!

Anyway, looking forward to chatting with you all.

Hello Katfish and Ellie and Missy and everyone else. I missed a bit and then there seemed to be heaps of new names and numbers and I got lost and overwhelmed. Been busy trying to learn image manipulation software and now I've plonked myself in Apple land so I have some steep learning curves ahead. Glad to see familiar and new faces. xxx

Wow Hello Spotty.. me too so pleased to see you. I missed you very much too. Hope you enjoy the software once you’ve got the hang of it xxx

Thanks for the welcome all.

So happy x 

So happy x 

Thanks for the welcome all.