I am sorry but I had to reply. I have an autistic with learning difficulties son, aged 15 so was looking for some guidance. I came across your post. I feel for you and your children. I don't know where you live or your full extended family make up or support group but sometimes, just sometimes the 'official' route stinks! This if taken in any context irrelevant of autism is a) a neighbourly dispute and more importantly b) bullying. A bully is a bully is a bully yet when bullied back is not a bully is not a bully. Simple. I wont condone violence of course as I have children but I know how I would deal with this! This is not right, at all. What I will say is it takes two hands to clap so please ensure you have not done or will do anything illegal, that's your first base covered. Then, I would go through the police and NAS, see what they do, thirdly and I am sorry if this offends anybody I would have to bring some 'men' into it to have a little chat, politely. If they know you are 'protected' so to speak I doubt they do much more. I hope this doesn't offend or sound drastic but people take advantage of the weak but the weak are stronger than them...if there is anything I can do further for you let me know. I pray you get through this...
unfortunately he plays a better victim than me and has the police supporting him. for example he complained about coloured lights in the garden, I have created a sensory space in the garden and the tree has colour changing lights (green, blue and white) that my autistic son enjoys. the neighbour complained these "rainbow" lights were homophobic.
Then he left bins at my gate, and only another autistic person would get how distressing my son & i found this with our phobias. it has been a targeted campaign of false complaints since, as I act so jumpy and 'different', help is not forth coming. Yes he targets me when I am alone, the lone woman rather than the childrens father.
Throwing concrete over into our garden and I did succumb once and threw it back, one occasion only. He did this and stood at his window waiting to film me, which he got! The next occasion he was in garden waiting for me to return from school run, he shouted over 'what are you throwing over' - NOTHING, i ignored him on that occasion with great restraint and I still now have concrete lumps in garden, no point moving them, as it will only mean he'll be at it again..
He keeps setting me up to fail, for example. My daughter was at the ice cream van, i was waiting for her at the other side of the road, this neighbour sped up the street, she stepped out and he did an emergency stop in front of her. I was shaking after that. Its purely to get me to react. A month ago I was tidying car and stood in road, his partner stayed on the path, going to their home, the one that keeps 'targeting' me he walked right by the back of me (middle of the road at the side of my car), close enough to intimidate me. All the while I had to keep complete control and as an autistic individual I am being pushed to my limits of what i can endure, ie being provoked.
its so hard to keep that emotional regulation and not snap, so much harder for us aspies.