Finding it difficult to express myself.....

Definitely struggle with this. Usually when something has made me anxious or angry but i can't put into words why. A typical example would be something like a last minute change of plan. Perhaps i was meant to meet someone in town at 11am and that morning they alter it to 12. Logically if i was going to be there at 11 i would also be available at 12, so as far as they're concerned it makes no difference. But it would cause my anxiety levels to rocket. If they realise that i'm feeling irritated at them there is no way for me to explain why. Even as i say this i realise it sounds totally unreasonable. I'm still working on the strategy bit!

Yes small changes like that throw me too. Are you ok or how are you really does too. 

Yes i find 'how are you?' a really difficult question, particularly if it's more of a greeting e.g a work colleague. I'm liable to either freeze and say nothing, or say something totally odd like 'it's raining' haha. I don't know why it's such a hard one, but i suppose it's the fact that you have no idea how much information they want (if any).

I think maybe i should write 'fine thank you' on my hand as a reminder because it always goes straight out of my head when i get asked

Yes I have tried both of those too when I remember that is. Yes makes me feel like I'm difficult too because I don't want to lie about it either. very well described. 

I’ve tried the throw back before ....quite entertaining how it throws people.

hey DC...bloomin hell....check out that unicorn.

cue running! 

(Oh, No... it is ME, "DC" the Capital Letters User (!!))

...That aside... *ahem*... this about being asked the "How are you?" greeting, and I shall share here how I, as "DC" often deal with it...

I know that one is "supposed" to reply "fine (how are you?)" in return. Thank you, "Elephant-Noone-Elephant", for bringing up that particular topic (social pleasantry).

At school, when asked that, when I or anyone else in my class, replied something *other* than the exact word "Fine" or something else cheery... we were told off about it. All of us, one and all, were still under 10 years old - so how could we know?

Maybe a bit more helpful. Now (after forty-odd years of experience)... I know how to deal with - how to offset - this, now. What I do is, whenever anyone asks how I am (without really meaning it) --- I change the subject. UTTERLY.

For instance, at a cashier or over the telephone:
"Hello! How are you today?"
"I am here to ask about... (go onto your main reasons for contacting this person, or for them contacting yourself)..."

Or: If really flustered that day, just throw back what they say right back at them:
"Hello! How are you today?"
"How are YOU today?" (emphasis upon throwing it back, there.)

That is what I do, nowadays. It serves two purposes:
1- forces a confusion during "social etiquette" which allows time to consider what is *truly* being said (words, meanings thereof).
And 2- If you are difficult like I am, and do not want to LIE about "feeling fine" when in truth you want to, say, run away... then just keep changing the subject until the asker is UTTERLY confused:
Last example:
"How are you today?"
"Look!! - there is a rainbow/a Pony/a Mercedes/a War occurring in the Middle East/another Debate concerning Brexit...!"

(The point is to buy yourself time to calm down and just get on with whatever you yourself seek at the time. It works most of the time and only rarely does it depend upon the person/situation. (This last means that you very rarely might get them actually ANGRY.) Practise, practise, experience, practise.)

Um... hope you or anyone understand all of that. Bye for now.

'Not bad' is a good answer . "Could be better" is one I sometimes say. Hello is much better. 

I too have had that experience where I asked someone if they genuinely wanted to know how I am.  If you are not interested then don't ask in the first place!  All very confusing.  I end up sounding like a stuck record now as my default response is 'not bad'.  It's short and snappy and usually by time I have finished saying it, the person asking has walked by or moved on to talk to someone else.  It comes back to do they really care?  Surely just hello would be more appropriate?  

I find it almost impossible to do the social nice and say fine.. I feel that hello is much preferable .. why can't people just say Hello? I once asked someone who asked it were thejust saying hello or did they actually want to know and they were quite shocked! very tricky isn't it! 

I find it almost impossible to do the social nice and say fine.. I feel that hello is much preferable .. why can't people just say Hello? I once asked someone who asked it were thejust saying hello or did they actually want to know and they were quite shocked! very tricky isn't it! 

'Not bad' is a good answer . "Could be better" is one I sometimes say. Hello is much better. 

I too have had that experience where I asked someone if they genuinely wanted to know how I am.  If you are not interested then don't ask in the first place!  All very confusing.  I end up sounding like a stuck record now as my default response is 'not bad'.  It's short and snappy and usually by time I have finished saying it, the person asking has walked by or moved on to talk to someone else.  It comes back to do they really care?  Surely just hello would be more appropriate?