Seeking advice on breakup with my 20 yr old autistic girlfriend.

Hi, im just gonna start typing and hope someone reads it.

Me and my ex were officially together for 8 months, and we broke up 4 days ago, I genuinely dont understand why it happened and it hurts, so im here for advice.

So we started having relstionship trouble about 2 weeks ago, prior to this we never had any serious disagreement and life was pure bliss being with her. 

Two weeks ago, my ex, her female friend and her guy friend went to our local bar to hangout. She didn't have any drinks but her friends likely did. Her friends met another guy they knew at said bar from out of town ill call him Paul. Paul asked them all if they wanted to come back to his place in Orange, TX (45 min drive from where we live + different state). Her friends say yes and so she agreed as well even though she didnt know Paul, she trusted her friends. The time now is 2 am and my girlfriend is about to ride to another man's house, that neither of us know, in a whole nother state. 

I randomly wake up at early that morning at 6:30 and check my phone to see that she hadnt messaged me that she made it home. So, i got on Life360 (location sharing app) to see where she was at and my heart immediately sunk to my stomach. I went into panic mode and starting having thoughts that she was abducted or drugged so I do the only thing i could do and called her. I call and she picks up in about 3 seconds, I ask "Why is your location in Orange?" "Oh we went swimming with *Redacted*". My panic immediately turns to anger but I don't lash out on her because that wouldnt help anything, I calmly said "ok, wish you told me" and hung up. This is where our relationship started to take a turn. I was so mad I was thinking I should break-up with her because she thought something like that would be ok. We also had a disgreement a week before where a girl I knew talked to me for 5 minutes at work and she got upset with me, so this situation just had hyprocrite written all over it. We had a long talk about this so I squashed it and got focused on getting us back to the lovey-dovey couple we were.

Fast forward about a week later, I had gotten over that situation after a lot of apologies. She was somewhat hard on herself ,so I ended up being the supportive one in the situation and I would tell her that "It's okay we have to disagree to get closer to each other, its natural" things like that. The weekend gets closer and that means its time for her to hang with her friends again. She hung out with her friends Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday ( the only day I got time with her that week) and each time she was with them, I would get 0 texts, 0 communication, 0 cares in the world. So, following into the new week after trying my hardest to mend our previous disagreement, there was one day where she said she would be going to watch a movie with one of her girlfriends and that she'd be home that night. I was proud because I could see she was trying to communicate and I thought we were getting somewhere. I woke up that morning and what do you know, she had never arrived home and her location was still ar her friends house. So, knowing that she had probably been up all night I didnt say a word that morning, I waited and waited to see if she'd show me the slightest care about me and tell me she ended up staying the night or good morning, but she never said anything.

It was at that moment I started feeling like if she was with her friends, she straight up just didn't about me that much and it hurt. But, we had work later that day (we work together) so I figured maybe she would just tell me in person. I pick her up and she gets in the car, she made a comment about her our shirts we matching but I couldn't care less about that in that moment. I wanted to know why she wasn't telling me things anymore. We get to work and I really lose my cool, I start texting her and ultimately ask if she still wanted to be with me because she would tell me sorry, but continue doing the same things. She said "yes, but we arent as close anymore" . I say "You know how we get closer? Interacting with each other. Not this radio silence we have going on." I realized I was getting upset and stopped the conversation and said we should talk after work. I did notice that she had cried, quite a few times she would go back and forth to the bathroom, I also cried a few times when I would look at her but thats not important. Towards the end of the shift I noticed her whole demeanor changed as she was taking selfies for her snapchat streaks when I felt we were supposed to be in more serious type of vibe. Whatever Im sorry Ive never made a post on any forum before lets get to the end.

We get out of work and get into the car. I ask if she has anything to say, she says no. So as usual its gonna be up to me to fix this situation. We talk for a long time and cry for even longer but the long story short is this. She feels like friendships and a relationship are equally important in her life. I strongly disgreed because I feel like I would be the one with her almost everyday, the one who fathers our children, and the one who would be there when we eventually die ,HOWEVER i respected her values and said if she could balance the two then maybe we could find a resolution. She felt like while being with me and hanging out with me she was actively losing all of her friends, and said that she loved doing random spontaneous things like staying out until 8am to swim with random people. I told her that even that I could accept, I just wanted to be communicated with while shes doing it. I kept trying to find ways and workarounds we could fix things but it was like she already gave up before even trying. So ultimately i said " Well we have two options at this point, you can balance me and your friends see me on some days see me on others, or we have to just breakup because I dont see any other resolution." She said she couldnt balance it and wasnt willing to attempt it either. So right there we ended it, and both cried in silence for about 10 minutes. Eventually she said, "Im gonna go see my cats, and sorry." And i drove off feeling every emotion possible. That night we also both changed our discord profile pictures to something else because we had a matching one before.

Next day, just as I had thought there was nothing said between us for most of the day right up until the end. I felt a strong sense of "I cant let it end like this". I didn't want to let her go after I had put so much time and care into what we had. I learned so much about autism and found that I display some of the same things she did. I also took care of things that were just hard for her too take care of. Id remind her to take her birth-control daily, take her to pay her bills to make it more fun, ask her how her mindset was and if she was ok even if i knew she was, FEED her (she gets to lazy to order it), all sorts of things that I was happy to do because I loved her more than anything.

I texted her one last time and asked if she really wanted it to end like this without even trying to work it out "I dont know" she said. I told her i didnt want to replace her or be replaced by her.

She said " i hear u, but i just wanna be left alone. i cut my friends off in the beginning of the relationship, cancelled so many hangouts to be with u… imo friends are most def important and i didn’t treat u right bc i was treating them important."

I said" I believe they are important, I just wanted you to communicate with me with what your doing."

I sent her a month old message showing that just a month ago she was saying how id be her future husband and her, my future wife. I said "You said i was your rock, your universe, your future husband, your true love." She stopped responding. I gave her some time to respond but she never did so i sent one last one saying goodbye. Checked all of my socials, and im unfollowed on every single one and any pictures I was in are gone, so I did the same.

Theres a few more things like yesterday she showed up to work with an entirely different hair color, but I just ignored her and everyone around me for that matter as well. Other than that here we are. The only think I can think of that would make her change so fast is her new friends, but its just an assumption at the end of the day. Thanks for reading and sorry again for how hard im sure it was to read.