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Parents don't accept my possible diagnosis.

Francesca
7 months ago

Hi :) 

I'm just starting the diagnosis process and I'm looking for advice on how to cope with parents not accepting the possibility. 

They're both fine with me seeking out a diagnosis, but my mum keeps trying to discredit the reasons why I think I'm autistic, and my dad is- wow. I said I'd spoken to my uni lecturer* about autism anConfoundedd as I said "she said she.." he went "thinks your f***ing stupid?" Confounded "She said she's suspected I'm autistic since she first met me"  "SHE SHOULDN'T SAY THAT! THAT'S PUTTING IT IN YOUR HEAD THAT YOU'RE AUTISTIC! Teachers can't even tell what gender people are these days, they can't give a diagnosis!" Sigh. Every time I bring up me possibly being autistic he says something along the lines of "f***ing stupid." It's really hard to deal with. 

*She's specialized in autism awareness 

Parents
  • 7 months ago

    I was diagnosed last year, I didn't tell my parents that I was seeking a diagnosis, I only told them after the assessment. My dad wasn't bothered, just said "ok". However, my mum wasn't pleased, she denied it and in the end made it about herself in some way. I tried mentioning it again to her a few weeks after, but she ignored it. It hasn't been mentioned since, and I don't think I'll ever be able to talk to my mum about it (which is a shame because we are actually really close). 

    You'll be asked to have some other people that have known you for a long time (such as a friend or parent) to fill in a form for the assessment, I didn't have anyone to ask so I didn't get any of them types of forms filled in. You can also bring someone along with you to the assessment, that knows you well or for support. Again, I didn't have anyone so I went alone and it was fine. I wouldn't worry about proceeding with an assessment on your own if that's your only possibility. 

    As for advice with parents not accepting it, I can't suggest anything that would help open their minds to it. Perhaps maybe time will help, but in the meantime I would not bring the topic up with them anymore. Unfortunately, some people will not change their minds, no matter how much you try.

Reply
  • 7 months ago

    I was diagnosed last year, I didn't tell my parents that I was seeking a diagnosis, I only told them after the assessment. My dad wasn't bothered, just said "ok". However, my mum wasn't pleased, she denied it and in the end made it about herself in some way. I tried mentioning it again to her a few weeks after, but she ignored it. It hasn't been mentioned since, and I don't think I'll ever be able to talk to my mum about it (which is a shame because we are actually really close). 

    You'll be asked to have some other people that have known you for a long time (such as a friend or parent) to fill in a form for the assessment, I didn't have anyone to ask so I didn't get any of them types of forms filled in. You can also bring someone along with you to the assessment, that knows you well or for support. Again, I didn't have anyone so I went alone and it was fine. I wouldn't worry about proceeding with an assessment on your own if that's your only possibility. 

    As for advice with parents not accepting it, I can't suggest anything that would help open their minds to it. Perhaps maybe time will help, but in the meantime I would not bring the topic up with them anymore. Unfortunately, some people will not change their minds, no matter how much you try.

Children
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