Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi!
I'm a 20 year old female and I think I might be autistic.
I have an appointment next month about referral for an assessment, and I'm terrified that they'll tell me I'm not autistic. If I am, it would explain so much about my life and why I've always been so different to everybody else. If I'm not, it's back to thinking I'm just weird and not normal. -- This isn't how I view autistic people, it's just how I've always felt about myself!
What makes it worse is I've masked so many of my traits (as girls tend to do) that my parents don't think it's a possibility that I'm autistic, despite explaining my 20+ traits. Would their interview with the assessor mess with a potential diagnosis?
My brother genuinely believes I am autistic, but he doesn't properly know the traits, he just sees that I'm "weird" , so I don't think he'd be a good interviewee.
I would sit your parents down and explain to them just how important gaining a diagnosis is for you, and how you want them to be honest in not minimising your difficulties when answering questions. Also, explain that autism is due to how your brain developed and you being autistic has nothing to do with how they parented you. Many parents seem to feel that having an autistic child reflects badly on them as parents and it definitely does not.
Write down all your traits and history in detail to support your claim to be autistic. You can also find the diagnostic manuals ICD-10 and DSM-5 online, look for the diagnostic criteria for autism and make sure you have traits for all of the necessary subsections. Also take some autism tests, AQ50 and RAADS-R are the most widely used in clinical settings (can also be found online (https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/)). Results in the autism range will strengthen your case.
Lastly, note down how, where and why you mask, tell your assessors this information up front, so that they do not get the wrong impression. For example, I make good eye contact, but I don't do it like neurotypical people, who do it subconsciously, I do it entirely consciously and time making and breaking eye contact, which is entirely un-neurotypical. I told my assessor this, so that he would not think that my way of making eye contact was 'normal'.