Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I've been recently diagnosed with autism at the age of 20 (now 21) and I'm still really confused and overwhelmed by everything. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that I'm autistic and I often struggle to recognize myself being different to allistic people - even tho I am which makes seeing my needs or even recognizing what my needs are even more complicated and confusing
I don't know if I'm really autistic or if I just think I am - At first I felt relieved about the diagnosis because it finally made sense, but now I just doubt myself. Especially because a lot of people that I talked to about my autism diagnosis (even a therapist), told me that I should be careful and cautious of a diagnosis. And I'm just really confused? They often tell me that it's just a matter of will power. This just gives me so much anxiety, like am I just pretending? Even if I'm not autistic I still struggle don't I? Does anyone relate or is it just me?
I hope this somehow makes sense. If anyone can help me with this I'd be super thankful.
Btw sorry if there's any mistakes, english is not my first language.
Of course you're not imagining it - it seems like you've been told some really unhelpful things.
I'm going through diagnosis at 59 and can totally relate to being anxious and confused. I'm also reading as much as I can about autism so I understand where my strengths and difficulties are and how best to help myself in future. I would suggest that you do the same. There are lots of resources on this site and even more online, in fact more for young people like yourself than oldies like me. Once you get a clearer idea of how your autistic brain works you can take action to tailor your life to best fit your needs. I wish I'd known at 20!
By the way, your English is excellent :)
Hello. I was diagnosed as autistic last year aged 41. I'm relieved about it, but also still grieiving for the life I might have had if I'd known much sooner. Doubting your diagnosis or feeling like an imposter is massively common within the autistic community.
"They often tell me that it's just a matter of will power." - Are they suggesting that autism is a matter of will power? If so, I think this is dangerous nonsense. You can't just switch your neurotype. Trying to do this would only make you blame yourself when you inevitably fail. It's best to accept and embrace your autistic brain instead of willing it to change.
I can't believe that English is not your first language - I would never have known if you hadn't said!
Hi. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 52 and have at times felt like a fraud. But I've always felt different and have faced massive struggles in life that have, to be honest, ruined my life. So am I really a fraud? No, I don't think so. And in both our cases neither did qualified professionals.
NAS91805 said:Even if I'm not autistic I still struggle don't I?
This is an interesting point. When I went to receive the results of my assessment, the psychologist asked me what result I was hoping for and how I would feel about it. I said that there is no good answer, because either way I was clearly still struggling and a yes or a no wouldn't change that.
I would say however that in the 9 months or so since my diagnosis I have felt a little more hopeless because now I know that no matter how much I try to "pull myself together" there are fundamental limits to what I am capable of.
Hi yours is not a massivley late diagnosis, I am 54 and reciently diagnosed. I think many of us feel how you do. Am I a fraud, am I really that autistic, should I just get my act together, and things like that. I have been there so many times over the past few years. Only you can know how you are in your own mind. Learn to live with it, wish I had known at 20, find out who you really are, take your time.
Personally I have had good and bad times in my life, some I can now see are autism related, some just the hand that life as delt me. Since my diagnosis I have been kinder to myself, push myself less to do uncomftable things and made my wife accept that.