Recently diagnosed - No idea who I am any more

I agree with other commenters here that it can take a long time to adjust to a diagnosis. I got mine over eighteen months ago and I still don't feel I've fully adjusted. It's a learning curve. Don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way, just try to sit with the emotions. If the depressive feelings continue to dominate, it might be worth seeing your GP.

Unknown said:

Often if I feel one way, I think I'm going to feel like that forever.  I've now learned, in my mid thirties that this isn't the case. So you could let yourself feel like that because it will pass. Or you could remind yourself it's been 2 weeks since your diagnosis. You've got all the time ahead of you to work through it to find out what it means for you. If you're anything like me, you are probably really hard on yourself. I think there's a process people often go through and one of the stages is acceptance of yourself. It's different for everyone but it's kind of working out how autism affects you

This a hundred.

Camille said:

life is rubbish and depression does come and go

And so do moments of great profundity, richness, and meaning.They also go, but they also come.

As someone who has struggled with depression, there are moments of unrelenting empty darkness, and there are those moments when the light dances through a window - and there is a wonderful lightness.

Camille said:

You are right - I have had these feelings before

What was/were your method(s) of coping with these feelings previously?

Thinking about your previous reactions to these feelings, before you had the diagnosis, might a) make you acknowledge that the 'new' you was there previously, just not isolated and observable with a category, and b) might importantly help you identify which responses you had to such feelings which were helpful (and which were counterproductive). This self-knowledge can help you deal with such emotions in the future.

(Apologies for the very convoluted prose!)

Sometimes we can feel strong emotions and its hard to put things into perspective.  Often if I feel one way, I think I'm going to feel like that forever.  I've now learned, in my mid thirties that this isn't the case. So you could let yourself feel like that because it will pass. Or you could remind yourself it's been 2 weeks since your diagnosis. You've got all the time ahead of you to work through it to find out what it means for you. If you're anything like me, you are probably really hard on yourself. I think there's a process people often go through and one of the stages is acceptance of yourself. It's different for everyone but it's kind of working out how autism affects you. For me theres been a lot about masking and I've only really realised that in the past few months....a good year after my diagnosis.

Camille said:

I have a hard time identifying my emotions

That's alexythymia, if you aren't aware of that then you might find it useful to look it up.

I think being kind to yourself might be easier understood as a contrast to its opposite. Like don't beat yourself up mentally for having these emotions. Yes, accept that you are feeling them, they are not unreasonable to have. Also remind yourself they will not last forever and you will have nicer emotions sometimes.

Also finding out what makes you happy or content or calm, or feel fewer negative emotions if that is easier to relate to, and try to increase those things if possible and if they are not bad for you. Like if eating chocolate makes you happy then have some sometimes not never, but equally not all the time or you will end up feeling worse! And trying to reduce your stressors. It is not selfish to do things like that, at least some of the time. Especially if the result is to make you a nicer person to be around. Although I don't know if you have issues with that so I hope some made sense anyway.

Too many intelligent people were defamed, and subject to mental torture.

That’s a very pragmatic answer - thank you for replying to me. You are right - I have had these feelings before

rephrasing is definitely something I will have to be doing at the moment so thank you for that tip, too.

I really appreciate your replying

You’re right, life is rubbish and depression does come and go.. right now it feels like a huge weight

You are right - thank you for replying! I have a hard time identifying my emotions much less allowing myself to feel them. Another thing I’ve never understood is the term ‘be kind to yourself’ - in your eyes, how would you explain this term? Is it more or less allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling?

I can't believe actual depression would cause human advancement as the result of it is not feeling like doing anything. Depressed people are not in a state to do much about it. I think human advancement was more driven by irritation! When I get sufficiently irritated about something is when I am most likely to do something about it.

Your experience sounds very common among what I've read here. It takes time to integrate a diagnosis into your life. It's taken me 18 months to finally understand what it actually means to me but the integration is going to go on a lot longer if not the rest of my life. 2 weeks is very early days.  Be kind to yourself. Getting a diagnosis is a big deal and you need time to process it.

your the same person you always were.
and life is rubbish so im amazed depression isnt considered the standard default of life these days.... infact it may actually be as scientists think that depression is what caused human advancement in the first place. perhaps depression is a huge part of sentience and intelligent thought?

Camille said:

Now, about a fortnight on, my euphoric relief has turned into a deep dark dissociative space. I’m depressive, vacant and don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything social. I am aware of how down I am, but can’t do anything about it

Have you had these feelings before?

Camille said:

I feel like I have to get to know a new person. And that person is me.. who I thought I already knew…

You may seem new to yourself, but there are parts of you that you know. At the moment, with the confirmation of your diagnosis, those parts are currently obscured by the new focus. They will reappear.

Camille said:

I feel like I have to get to know a new person.

Rephrasing may help here. It might appear less overwhelming if you think you will get to know new aspects of yourself.