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Recently diagnosed - No idea who I am any more

Camille

Hey - new here and hoping to get some friendly advice on how to cope with being diagnosed recently. I’m 34 and i was 95% convinced I was autistic for about 4 years before I actually got officially diagnosed, so when I finally got the confirmation that all my suspicions were right, I felt a huge sense of relief and validation. Now, about a fortnight on, my euphoric relief has turned into a deep dark dissociative space. I’m depressive, vacant and don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything social. I am aware of how down I am, but can’t do anything about it. I feel like I’ve now been given the green light to know who I really am… and now I’m completely overwhelmed. I feel like I have to get to know a new person. And that person is me.. who I thought I already knew… help !

Parents

  • Your experience sounds very common among what I've read here. It takes time to integrate a diagnosis into your life. It's taken me 18 months to finally understand what it actually means to me but the integration is going to go on a lot longer if not the rest of my life. 2 weeks is very early days.  Be kind to yourself. Getting a diagnosis is a big deal and you need time to process it.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    You are right - thank you for replying! I have a hard time identifying my emotions much less allowing myself to feel them. Another thing I’ve never understood is the term ‘be kind to yourself’ - in your eyes, how would you explain this term? Is it more or less allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling?

  • in reply to Camille
    Camille said:
    I have a hard time identifying my emotions

    That's alexythymia, if you aren't aware of that then you might find it useful to look it up.

    I think being kind to yourself might be easier understood as a contrast to its opposite. Like don't beat yourself up mentally for having these emotions. Yes, accept that you are feeling them, they are not unreasonable to have. Also remind yourself they will not last forever and you will have nicer emotions sometimes.

    Also finding out what makes you happy or content or calm, or feel fewer negative emotions if that is easier to relate to, and try to increase those things if possible and if they are not bad for you. Like if eating chocolate makes you happy then have some sometimes not never, but equally not all the time or you will end up feeling worse! And trying to reduce your stressors. It is not selfish to do things like that, at least some of the time. Especially if the result is to make you a nicer person to be around. Although I don't know if you have issues with that so I hope some made sense anyway.

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  • in reply to Camille
    Camille said:
    I have a hard time identifying my emotions

    That's alexythymia, if you aren't aware of that then you might find it useful to look it up.

    I think being kind to yourself might be easier understood as a contrast to its opposite. Like don't beat yourself up mentally for having these emotions. Yes, accept that you are feeling them, they are not unreasonable to have. Also remind yourself they will not last forever and you will have nicer emotions sometimes.

    Also finding out what makes you happy or content or calm, or feel fewer negative emotions if that is easier to relate to, and try to increase those things if possible and if they are not bad for you. Like if eating chocolate makes you happy then have some sometimes not never, but equally not all the time or you will end up feeling worse! And trying to reduce your stressors. It is not selfish to do things like that, at least some of the time. Especially if the result is to make you a nicer person to be around. Although I don't know if you have issues with that so I hope some made sense anyway.

Children
  • in reply to AuTriker

    That does make a lot of sense, thank you so much. It’s quite overwhelming how many people on here understand me - I’ve barely said anything and you all get it! I can’t spell it but the term above is something I have heard of, and I will take your advice and read up a little more about it. Thank you